To just want a weekend to myself ?

[icecreamandnutella]

Last 4 weekends I've had people ask me to either do favours for them or do things to keep them entertained because they are at a lose end. Since covid I've become an introvert. My mental health isn't great and I just want a weekend alone. Im happy in my own company. No one knows about my mental health or that I'm now an introvert. I hide it.
I work a 50 hour week and just want some me time to chill at home and do nothing.
But there are always so many expectations from friends/family. I would love for my partner to put on my fbook something like 'Icecreamandnutella will not be contactable this weekend. She's taking a much needed break and will be back online on Monday'. But my friends would be peed at this as I wouldn't be around to chat on WhatsApp/messenger. 1 particular friend is very needy for WhatsApp chat. She messages me night and day. I find it too much and it stresses me out as she demands a reply ASAP. If I don't reply she's chasing me for a reply.
This weekend I plan to spend it watching films on the sofa or pottering at home or doing my art work. Please don't let there be a need for me to spend the day with someone or do something for someone. As much as I love family and friends, I need some space.

AIBU ?

If you're an introvert, why bother with facebook.
Mute whatsapp or block the needy "friend"
Just say you're busy at the weekend

YANBU. I'd be very tempted to post one status saying your phone is broken and going in for repair so you won't be contactable for a week, then switch off everything connected to the outside world.

@icecreamandnutella

I would love for my partner to put on my fbook something like 'Icecreamandnutella will not be contactable this weekend. She's taking a much needed break and will be back online on Monday'.

You should do this. ^^ Their negative reaction is their problem and should maybe indicate, if they get snarky with you, that they're not really people you need to have so close to you in your life. The first time you put boundaries in your life it's hard and people will kick off. It gets easier each time you do it though.

Protect your own time and mental health OP. 🌹

It’s absolutely reasonable to want a quiet weekend.

It isn’t really reasonable to hide how you feel from people and then get cross with them because they don’t know how you feel, nor to expect your partner to be assertive on your behalf when you won’t be assertive yourself.

Oh I hear you! switch your phone off- you need to put yourself first for once. Why people think it's acceptable to chase/message people more than once I'll never understand! Just ignore everyone and do what you want! The more you do it the easier it gets

DH is away this weekend and I’m delighted to have space! However friends have offered to keep me company and take away my precious alone time! Back off!!

Honestly, it's all a bit bizarre. Why would you need your partner to put the message up? It's so dramatic and likely to cause way more fuss than just being quiet. Why are you spending so long on FB and returning unwanted WhatsApps? Most people are not living like this, and you don't have to either.

Send a message saying that you're busy this weekend, switch it off for a while. Or tell them you're taking a break from social media for a weekend as it is starting to feel like an addiction (which does seem pretty likely). Maybe look at some counselling to understand why you are seeking out (even unconsciously) these relationships where you are the prop or the martyr, and to help you set boundaries. If you don't have access to that, then worth Googling the drama triangle - sounds a lot like you are a rescuer/victim in this.

Friday night you just post yourself.

"I'm having a much needed tech detox this weekend - see you on the other side!"

"I'm having a break from tech this weekend. How long do you think I'll last? DP says less than 12 hours, I recon I can last until Monday!"

"Having a quiet weekend, catch you all next week."

Then next week you can go on about how lovely it was to recharge, how it was so good for your mental health etc.
Today is World Mental Health Day. If you don't think your mental health is important today, when will you?
If your 'friends' don't understand, I'd question if they re really friends.

Of course YANBU.

Why are you tolerating such demanding people in your life and jeopardising your MH?

I mean this kindly, but people like you are very exhausting to live with.

Your lack of boundaries means you are imposed upon, and inevitably it is partners and family whom get the blow back.

Mute the friend and be less available to others, and start giving yourself what you need.

Protect your MH.

Get off fb for a start then practice saying no.

Why do you think you need to announce it on Facebook? How much time are you regularly spending online? It sounds like you need to address this longer term.

For your quiet weekend, leave your phone in a different room or switch it off and just get on with it.

If anyone gets in a tizz because you didn't reply immediately, respond to them later. Preempting it with an announcement is just drawing attention to yourself.

I don't 'do' Facebook/insta. I DO get too stuck into MN! I use WhatsApp but my friends and I come & go on it & seem to have a rhythm that just works.

i just stick it on silent mode if I've had enough. I sometimes forget to switch it back 🤭

'Sorry, I can't, I'm busy' - nice & vague.

The message you wish your DP would put would worry me. I'd be worried you were hurt or unwell, if not, why is HE, not you, posting a message like like that??

I like weekends to myself, I like not having to be somewhere at a certain time, I'm quite protective of the weekends!

I voted yabu because you need to start saying no to people if you don’t want to see them and stop texting your friend back so quickly if you don’t want to text her. You’re an adult op so make your own decisions- put that message on Facebook yourself if you want to, you don’t need someone to do it for you

Just mute your phone, put it in a drawer and get on with your films, pottering and artwork.

I don't see the need to 'announce' anything and I find having conversations on WhatsApp a bizarre thing to do, how on earth have we got to a situation where that's become a normal way to talk to each other, rather than on the phone or in person?

YANBU to want a quiet weekend
YABU to expect someone else to organise it

YANBU to want a quiet weekend but why do you need to announce it on Facebook, just don’t organise anything and don’t reply so quickly on WhatsApp

You need to just take your downtime for yourself. You're perfectly entitled to do this and reasonable to want it.

Don't announce it anywhere. Just don't be available for people. If someone asks you to do a favour, say no. If someone wants you to entertain them, say no. Say you have plans already. If someone messages expecting a chat just don't reply. Let them keep messaging. When you're up to chatting with them again, just say "sorry, just got your messages, was offline all weekend". A reasonable person (though I suspect this friend isn't one) would accept that.

You don't need to jump to attention when someone messages you. The point is to keep in touch with them at your convenience, not theirs.

Leave the phone in another room and have a lovely weekend with your artwork!

Why would want to put an announcement on Facebook? Just do what you want this weekend.

Putting a message like that on FB (and worse, getting your partner to do it) sounds like you relish drama. Just turn your phone off or say no if people ask you to do something.

My friend will often message me and our other friends saying she’s having a phone detox and it’s going off. No issues at all! And she has a quiet weekend with her family then. We all respect that (sounds like a good idea to be honest!)

YABU to not just handle this like a normal person.

Put your phone on don't disturb. Don't reply to messages.

Either reply after saying "sorry, had a much needed break from devices" or just lie if you feel like you have to and make up an excuse.

Literally why are you even entertaining this?

Sorry to be blunt but grow up! Why do you need your partner to post on your behalf? He's not your mummy ffs. Put your own post up saying you're taking a break and won't be contactable over the weekend. I presume you're an adult, so try to act like one and take responsibility for your own life

The fbook suggestion was a bit of a tongue-and-cheek type of thing. Of course my partner isn't going to actually do that.
Friends would think it odd if I went off line for the whole weekend, even if did reveal that it was just so I could have a break.
I don't want to share my mental health struggles with them, which is my prerogative. On the other hand, posters will now say don't moan about things when you wont tell them.
Thanks for some of the shittier replies (roll eyes). Thanks for the understanding replies (genuine)
I guess what I am really saying to friends and family is that I'm drowning in everything, someone please throw me a lifeline and show that you can see everything is getting too much for me and I need a break.

I am almost beyond breaking point.

Stop being so passive and tell people you have plans.

It doesn't matter if those plans are watching TV or pottering around at home.

Maria, this is your trunk; these are your gowns. You may arrange them in any way you wish. Lady Catherine will never know.

This is perfect