Chuggers/fundraisers should take your first "no" for an answer

[Parkingmoan1]

I've just been walking through the town centre on my way to catch a bus and was caught by one of those fundraising groups who accost you in the street.

As soon as she started talking to me I politely said no thank you, I don't have the time to talk and carried on walking. Instead of taking that as my final answer she chose to walk alongside me saying "I'm a fast talker" and continued her speech.

I felt a bit intimidated to be honest, she was quite loud and bolshie whereas I don't like confrontation and hate things like this.

I said I don't have any spare money, she said if I didn't want to make the one off payment to the cause (£25 bloody quid) the magazine they're selling is "only" £5.

I ended up buying the magazine just so that she'd leave me alone.

AIBU to think they should have to take your first "no" as an answer and leave you be?

One came up to me minutes after I’d found out a close friend had died. I said no, perhaps more harshly than I would have normally because I was trying not to cry, and unfortunately this made the chugger decide to follow me persistently, and continue to question me in an aggressive, taunting manner until I literally ran away. I wish they would take the first ‘no’ as an answer - it’s borderline harassment imo.

Please DO NOT let these chuggers get away with this. Some of these posts are awful.

There are very very very strict rules about fundraising and a charity will get into serious trouble if people complain.

Please complain to the charity first and if they are no use go straight to the Fundraising Regulator. Please do it!

Fucking hate chuggers who don't take no for an answer.

www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/complaints/make-complaint

I've had chuggers wave in my face and get in my way because (I had earphones in) I've not stopped for them.

I had one say "it's "only" £10 a month". For some people £10 a month IS a lot of money and if I wanted to donate to charity, I'll do it myself.

I gave up being polite to chuggers years ago. They treat civility as a sign of weakness, so now I just blank them.

I had one similar to this in the street, although it did actually turn into a decent conversation.

I was stopped by someone trying to raise money for a well known children's hospital. I said no and got the 'don't you want to help innocent little kids with life threatening illnesses'. I replied that I did, which is why I donate to a different children's hospital. He asked why that one and not the one he was raising money for. So I explained that our DS was born with a life threatening medical issue and his life had been saved by the hospital I donated to. 'Oh,' says he 'well, that's a bit different then. I hope he's OK'. I replied 'he is much better now thanks,. Oh and don't forget to donate to his hospital!' and walked off.

I have had a man follow me down the street yelling 'it took you longer to say no than it would have to stop and donate!' He definitely got a mouthful. And I complained the charity about him.

I don't donate to people at the door or in the street. I have specific charities that I donate to because they support issues that have affected people I know or have been directly involved with my family (like the hospital).

The sad reality is that very few people would proactively go out and find out about charities and make donations without a prompt or an ask. We all like to think / say we would, but most people are too busy or self focused or have too many demands on their time to do so. And yet most people agree with charitable causes and want charities to continue the work they do.

There's nothing wrong at all with advertising and/or raising awareness. Lots of big companies advertise incessantly across the whole media, but they still don't coerce, guilt, shame or threaten you into buying from them: it's always your choice whether to engage or not.

I strongly disagree with the idea that it's silly to compare it to being mugged. I thought we'd come far enough now to realise that abuse, coercion and manipulation doesn't always involve physical violence. I'd hoped the days were behind us when a victim of any of various kinds of spousal abuse would be laughed away and called ridiculous because "well, he never hit you, did he?"

Always remember that other people might not share your own strengths and that any of us can be vulnerable at any time to people trying to take advantage of us.

I have had a man follow me down the street yelling 'it took you longer to say no than it would have to stop and donate!'

This kind of 'logic' that they show just underlines to me that they don't even care enough to see you as an actual person, with only so much money and budgetary decisions to make. To them, you're nothing more than an ever-full cash machine which they can tap at will, as long as they can just get the PIN - but instead of the PIN being four numbers to type in, it's the right phrasing, tone, magic words, maybe threats or coercion, shaming: if they can just find the right 'PIN', they can access money that's currently under your control, but which they believe can and should be theirs if they persist enough and press the right emotional buttons.

Chuggers.....they are a complete drain on societies' meagre resources right now.

I have a sign on my front door saying no cold callers, charities and religions and about a week ago, I got a call ( door knock) from a woman promoting a charity .......she spoke none stop so when I got a word in edgeways, I calmly blurted out

""There's a sign on my door"

She got a shock, apologised and walked off. She was still in the communal area 5 hours later.

In the town and city centres I nod my head 'no' before they start and this removes about 90% of them.

They may have stepped up their nonsence a gear or 3 by the looks of things, due to the cost of living rise.

I remember one of them asking me if I did my own washing. Little did she know I was in my early 20s. I was washing my own clothes at the age of 14!

I hate them with a passion. I'd happily put money in a donation tin but I'm buggered if I am signing up to a direct debit

Chuggers really boil my piss. It's bad enough when they harangue you in the street (I see them as fair game if they don't take no for an answer, and I couldn't give a hoot what their training has taught them) but they've started coming round to the houses in the evening. Still, at least then I get to use my best Margo Leadbetter voice when I tell them to get off my property

They should take no, and you should have carried on, on your way. I believe they can only take 1 step - I understand why you gave in but that's why they carry on.

Yes, they are often very aggressive. I feel sorry for charities - I used to do collections, in the days of people having cash, but I didn't even shake my tin. However deserving the cause, giving should be totally voluntary and not pressured.

I give to certain charities which I think are effective and use their funds wisely. I'm afraid I'm pretty cynical about some of the big ones though. They pay their CEOs etc huge amounts and often spend a big percentage of your pound on things most of us wouldn't be happy with. I was not impressed when the National Trust spent millions on a huge new HQ in Swindon. They've gone downhill ever since, ironically - letting at least 2 of their properties (Clandon House was one) burn down through lack of precautions. I wonder if any heads rolled over that?

I'm also influenced by how helpful these charities (which spend a lot on advertising and promotion) have been when I've actually gone to them. Sorry, but Age UK and RSPCA were totally hopeless at the point of use, so I'm reluctant to give to them. All about giving you leaflets but could I get any practical advice (that was all I wanted!) from Age UK - not a chance.

Airpods are your friend here

Yeah, I have pretty severe social anxiety and it’s like these people KNOW. I always get targeted by people looking for money, which I don’t even have.

Where I used to work there used to be at least 3 people asking for money for this or that between me and the bus stop. Some days I just couldn’t face it and had to call my partner so I’d be on the phone while walking past them.
I’ve since had therapy and am better at saying no now but it’s still never nice.

@Parkingmoan1 "As soon as she started talking to me I politely said no thank you, I don't have the time to talk and carried on walking."

There's your big mistake.

If chuggers persist after a firm 'No thanks', I either offer cash (they can't take it, what a shame) or ask for their bank details for 'my' charity, same at the door . Sky, Virgin, AA etc who accost me in shopping centres are told I'm already a customer. Usually works.

I agree. They're a nuisance. I know they are only doing a job blah blah blah, and I guess if someone has hit rock bottom that badly that they need to take a shitty job like this, you should probably not be nasty to them, but I have to say I do ignore them now.

I don't owe them anything, and I will NOT be intimidated into signing up for a charity, and giving my bloody bank details to a stranger in the street. When I am with DD, we get young men trailing after us, saying (to DD) 'hey luv, is that yer sister?' and 'hey gorgeous ladieeees.' I just think 'oh do fuck off.'

Sorry you felt intimidated by them @Parkingmoan1 Just try ignoring them next time.

I've found the key is to not stop walking. The OP's case of them following her to continue to harrassment is unusual in my experience. They have a specific place they're meant to be most of the time (usually coordinated with another charity mugger on the other side of the road).

If they try to engage me, I usually pick one of the following:
"Stop raping me!" (loudly, gets everyone looking and freaks them out)
"Sorry, I don't speak English" (usually leaves them confused, they're not the brightest people else they wouldn't be doing this "job")
"Fuck off you ugly/stupid/hideous cunt" (ideally make the insult more personal about something unique to them, their hair or their teeth for instance, something that they will remember - you have to get quite harsh with them because they have very thick skins.)

The important thing is to remember they don't deserve any respect. They're scum, trying to harass/intimidate/guilt-trip you into giving money, regardless of whether you can afford it. If they actually cared about the charity they'd be raising money for free - better still, working a proper job and donating their wages to the cause.

In the event that you do care about their charity, you still shouldn't give the charity mugger your money because most of it will go in commission to them and admin fees to their employer. Generally the charity will receive about 10% of what the chugger raises, sometimes less.

It's also worth noting that many chuggers are not representing a charity at all, with the whole thing being a scam. This is especially the case with ones who accept cash, but even ones who try to set up a DD or bank payment are also often out to scam you. Never was the phrase "charity begins at home" more true.

They’re a menace. I don’t even reply anymore. With their pamphlets, logo’s waterproofs and freakish passive aggressive zesty nature - piss off.

I hate them and think they should be banned. As others have said they are working for companies hired by the charity. It’s a very lucrative way for charities to fundraise but many charities take pride in not using this method.

I only had one approach me as I was in tears rushing to get to my car and get home. She wouldn’t let up and in the end I snapped “No, leave me alone!” She looked at me with a smirk and said you obviously don’t care about sick kids. I complained to the charity and got a letter back outlining that it was a very effective way for them to get donations and they wouldn’t stop. It was a Christian charity too 🙄.

I have also had them try and talk to me through my child “Mummy looks like a kind person doesn’t she?” I just reply along the lines of “looks can be deceiving” and walk off quickly. We often call going to town running the gauntlet of chuggers.

I do my best to avoid eye contact. The other day they were hanging around outside my local Sainsburys, along with the local fake Big Issue seller (he's not homeless (and yes, I know that for a fact - it's well known locally and he gets moved on) and he uses fake Big Issue ID). It's so annoying trying to avoid the gauntlet of people demanding money.

They sometimes do follow you by the way!

I know someone who would ignore the no cold callers signs at the door sadly they don't apply to charity callers.

She looked at me with a smirk and said you obviously don’t care about sick kids

I'd just reply "not if they're not my own, no". Let them judge. Silly woman.

Yes, and GTFO would be my second answer. As preparation I also completely avoid and blank them.

They've gone downhill ever since, ironically - letting at least 2 of their properties (Clandon House was one) burn down through lack of precautions. I wonder if any heads rolled over that

to be fair I think that was probably the fault of the contractors they were using to do the work. It happened at the Glasgow School of Art twice as well. Builders seem to be very careless, that's not the charity's fault.

very few people would proactively go out and find out about charities and make donations without a prompt or an ask

no but you find out in other ways, whether it be people asking for sponsorship, leaflets through the door, TV ads (that you can turn off or walk out the room from), social media posts etc. All of which are far less intrusive or abusive.

I just say no thanks and walk on, ignoring any follow up.

First one was ages ago in central London - a charity for the blind. I did sign up for a small monthly sum, but said I was not going to state my age (irrelevant and none of their business) or my phone number (unnecessary and I didn’t want them ringing me or passing it on.)

Some days later I had a letter from the charity, saying that they were ‘unable’ to process my ‘application’ without these two pieces of information!

Talk about CFery! The letter went in the bin, but needless to say, the money started coming out of my account anyway.