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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeding vendors at weddings

97 replies

EasilyAmused · 10/10/2022 11:20

Scrolling FB whilst having my hair done and watched a video about people providing food for the photographer, planner, musician, DJ, etc. at weddings.

Curious about the general concensus on this?

YABNU - Why would you? They're their to work, not as guests.

YABU - Of course you should, it's the courteous thing to do.

OP posts:
BrushedBrass · 10/10/2022 11:22

I think YANBU but you'll be told on here YABU - there have been threads before!

ThrowingSomeCrumbs · 10/10/2022 11:23

We provided a meal for anyone who was stuck there the whole day. We had a band play during the meal and then in the evening so we fed them, and we fed photographer & video chap as they stayed until the mid-evening.

Basically anyone that was working before / during and after the meal.

Pootles34 · 10/10/2022 11:24

It's something that should be agreed as part of the contract, surely? The only vendor that was at the mealtime was the Photographer, he had a meal included as part of the package. I think it's pretty standard?

GinUnicorn · 10/10/2022 11:26

Think it depends. If they are working all day then yes they need a break and something to eat and drink. There for a few hours then they will be fine without.

ShadowPuppets · 10/10/2022 11:26

Yes to anyone who was working over a mealtime: photographer, caterer, band. Our caterer did a ‘staff’ meal so it wasn’t like they were getting a full wedding breakfast at ££ a head - I think it was lasagne or veggie lasagne with salad and garlic bread and some sort of pudding, a few pounds a head.

PcosSOS · 10/10/2022 11:33

I’m a wedding photographer and it is usual practice to provide a meal. It doesn’t have to be a set place 3 course meal at the table with other guests and tbh if there’s another space that’s preferable as I combine the short break with things like charging batteries, backing up images, making sure I have photos of all the family members and friends and if not then making them a priority for the evening etc.

Definitely feed your photographer as wedding venues are often in the middle of nowhere and they’re on their feet for 10 hours, the 15-30 mins to quickly eat and do all the above before the speeches start is the only break of the day.

Also I’d encourage the catering/venue staff to feed them first so that they can eat and be ready to take photos as soon as the speeches start. Especially if you’d like images of the guests meals too.

if it is a shorter ceremony package then that’s different but for a 8-12 hour wedding then definitely.

Buggsilla · 10/10/2022 11:35

I'd think you're a bit bloody stingey if you didn't provide food & drinks for someone who's on their feet all day recording your big moment.

GooglyEyeballs · 10/10/2022 11:36

We catered for all our vendors at our wedding. You can't expect them to work a 12 hour day and not eat or have to run off to Tesco to grab a sammich. They didn't sit with the guests but they sure as hell were given a hot meal and snacks and drinks somewhere quiet to have a break.

LovinglifeAF · 10/10/2022 11:37

If they were going to be there all day I’d get them some food. We also told our band they could help themselves to the buffet in the evening. The minister was a friend so he was at the full reception in that capacity

ThreeblackCats · 10/10/2022 11:41

I fed my singer. He’d drove up from london, he would be driving back that same night. I’m about 3 hours away from London. He ate some buffet food at the bar and chatted to anyone who wanted to chat with him.
Why wouldn’t you feed people working all day at your wedding? You can request the venue feeds them in another area (like the kitchen or similar) if you are feeling awkward about it.

mondaytosunday · 10/10/2022 11:42

Yes we provided sandwiches and other refreshments for the band, the photographer sat as a guest at a table. The others worked for the venue so they did whatever they normally do.

inappropriateraspberry · 10/10/2022 11:42

If they are there all day, feed them! It doesn't have to be the full wedding breakfast, but I'm sure the caterers can put together some lunches for them.

thisisthestoryabout · 10/10/2022 11:43

I'd be happy to ask the hotel to supply them with food, but not the full sit down wedding meal!

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 10/10/2022 11:43

I know a couple of wedding photographers and they all get fed. If you’re there for the whole day often in a hotel in the arse end of nowhere where you can’t pop to a shop and they won’t let you put your food in the fridge I think it’s more than fair!

AuntSalli · 10/10/2022 11:44

We offered food to the videographer who was there all day and the photographer I don’t think took us up on the offer because they wanted to get back to London. Obviously feed the vicar and his wife. I just think it’s a polite thing to do but then reading how little some people feed their actual guests maybe that’s going out of fashion

Dragonskin · 10/10/2022 11:44

If they are there all day (eg photographers) it is usually part of their terms and conditions, but you just do a vendor meal which is cheaper

SavingsThreads · 10/10/2022 11:45

If they are working all day then yes they need a break and something to eat and drink.

But, why is it on the B/G to pay for and provide it? Why not take their lunch to work like everyone else?!

Worthyornot · 10/10/2022 11:46

Off course you should. Absolutely bad manners not to. They will be there over the course of the day, do they not get hungry as well?

W0tnow · 10/10/2022 11:46

I think it’s standard? Certainly for the band and photographer.

Worthyornot · 10/10/2022 11:47

SavingsThreads · 10/10/2022 11:45

If they are working all day then yes they need a break and something to eat and drink.

But, why is it on the B/G to pay for and provide it? Why not take their lunch to work like everyone else?!

Typical selfish attitude.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 10/10/2022 11:49

SavingsThreads · 10/10/2022 11:45

If they are working all day then yes they need a break and something to eat and drink.

But, why is it on the B/G to pay for and provide it? Why not take their lunch to work like everyone else?!

Because they are often in the middle of nowhere, limited access to ‘staff’ fridges etc and it’s just bloody rude not to offer a meal to someone who is working their arse off for you.

NoDairyNoProblem · 10/10/2022 11:49

These meals were all part of our contracts many many years ago.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 10/10/2022 11:51

DS is in a band that plays at many weddings. Some provide food, some don't. They prefer to know in advance if they'll be fed, as it can be a 12 hour day for them, and it's a physical job. They do not want to sit with the guests however, and don't expect the same meal either. Leftovers from a buffet as an extra is much appreciated too, but that's the icing on the cake.

SavingsThreads · 10/10/2022 11:54

it’s just bloody rude not to offer a meal to someone who is working their arse off for you.

So your employer pays for your meal?

Clarinet1 · 10/10/2022 11:54

SavingsThreads · 10/10/2022 11:45

If they are working all day then yes they need a break and something to eat and drink.

But, why is it on the B/G to pay for and provide it? Why not take their lunch to work like everyone else?!

Well, would you want them sitting on the edge of the action looking like tourists eating their sandwiches out of Tupperware? I agree that some sort of food for supplies is good manners and a perk of the job. It doesn’t have to be what all the guess are having but something reasonably filling, sustaining and tasty.