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AIBU?

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Original poster

Feeding vendors at weddings

97 replies

EasilyAmused · 10/10/2022 11:20

Scrolling FB whilst having my hair done and watched a video about people providing food for the photographer, planner, musician, DJ, etc. at weddings.

Curious about the general concensus on this?

YABNU - Why would you? They're their to work, not as guests.

YABU - Of course you should, it's the courteous thing to do.

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 10/10/2022 12:52

It was in our photographer's contract that we supply food for her (didn't have to be the same as the guests were having, just a sandwich or something). As it happened we had a buffet and the venue were absolutely fine with her getting a plate and didn't charge us any extra for it.

Our DJ was a friend of a friend and had also asked if he could get something to eat. The mutual friends were guests so we included him in the seating plan with them and again the venue were happy for him to have a plate from the buffet without charging us extra.

Marmite27 · 10/10/2022 12:54

DJ was there all day, to provide the sound system for speeches etc. He brought a packed lunch due to allergies.

Photographer kept saying no because he was too busy. He looked like he had a temperature because he was flushed and my mum kept trying to mother him. He wasn’t sick, he’d been on a shoot somewhere snowy earlier in the week and had forgotten his sunblock

lannistunut · 10/10/2022 12:56

Yes, you should feed people who are there all day. The haridresser, no and the waiting staff etc will be fed by the caterers themselves but I would factor in for anyoen there all day.

mummyh2016 · 10/10/2022 13:00

A lot of venues do a 'supplier' menu for this purpose. Ours did and I'm sure it was only £10 or something opposed to the £50 a head it was for the wedding guests.

Maverickess · 10/10/2022 13:00

I suppose they could always down tools after every 6 hours work on the dot to go for their packed lunch regardless of what is going on, speeches you say? Sorry I'm on my break.

And take their full break, away from the work area and then return as you do for any other employer, if that's the reasons being used to not provide a meal making arrangements for refreshments? Is because other employers don't? Although I'm in an industry that's not renowned for treating it's staff well and I get fed.

If you want someone available for all those special moments and photo's then they're not going to be working under 'normal' circumstances and therefore 'normal' rules won't really apply.

Plus people spending several grand on one day begrudging a meal and drink that would be £10-£20 as a one off. They're the workers damnit! Don't they know their place!
🙄

gogohmm · 10/10/2022 13:00

It's normal to feed musicians as part of their rider anyway, not just weddings, if you are wondering about the cost of food for a few people, why on earth do you have a wedding planner.

If the photographer leaves after the ceremony photos that's different (since when did they start staying all day anyway?)

mummyh2016 · 10/10/2022 13:01

gogohmm · 10/10/2022 13:00

It's normal to feed musicians as part of their rider anyway, not just weddings, if you are wondering about the cost of food for a few people, why on earth do you have a wedding planner.

If the photographer leaves after the ceremony photos that's different (since when did they start staying all day anyway?)

Most stay up until the first dance.

EvilRingahBitch · 10/10/2022 13:01

If it's a buffet then I'd include them in the numbers. If it's a sit down plated meal then I'd ask if the venue could do a more casual "staff meal". I've done that in the past, not for a wedding, but for the musicians playing at a corporate dinner, we paid a smaller amount for a basic meal rather than the hundred quid a head we were paying for the guests. As it happens, there was a no show and the band were offered the full meal anyway.

WireSkills · 10/10/2022 13:03

Quite usual and I don't blame them. Imagine in the height of summer at a venue in the middle of nowhere, your photographers trying to eat a limp sandwich out of a melted cooler bag that they'd packed at 5am that morning? They can't always pop down the road and get something, plus they like to be around, just in case something photo-worthy happens.

We had a few covid dropouts at our wedding so the photographers were delighted to get spares of the main meal, but they equally could have chosen a "staff" meal.

cc1997 · 10/10/2022 13:05

SavingsThreads · 10/10/2022 11:45

If they are working all day then yes they need a break and something to eat and drink.

But, why is it on the B/G to pay for and provide it? Why not take their lunch to work like everyone else?!

You can pay for a wedding, but won't feed your photographer 🙄

Ponderingwindow · 10/10/2022 13:07

Just feed your vendors as appropriate. The ones that are working all day can’t exactly leave for a proper meal break. If they could it might be different. If your meals are ridiculously expensive, talk to your venue about their vendor meal options.

VeridicalVagabond · 10/10/2022 13:19

Everyone who was there the whole day at ours we fed them. We were having a big grill style cookout though and there was enough food for a small army so it didn't put us out to feed them. I don't really know what the correct etiquette is, I just thought it'd be cruel to have them working all day smelling delicious BBQ and not be able to have some!

PeaceLily2000 · 10/10/2022 13:35

I guess it's personal choice (unless it's in contract) but we fed the photographer and agreed in advance that the band could help themselves to the evening food.
Personally, I think it's a nice touch and costs very little in the grand scheme of things

strawberry2017 · 10/10/2022 13:35

Of course you should feed them, what else are they supposed to do. If someone is at your wedding the whole day working they deserve to bed fed.

No499 · 10/10/2022 13:46

YABU. I used to work for a restaurant that catered many off site weddings. We always prepared and charged a slightly different meal for all vendors - photographer, viedographer, band etc. Catering staff were fed by a staff meal prepared by the chefs, nor charged to the client.

2bazookas · 10/10/2022 14:14

I'd provide tea/cofee/soft drinks, and a sandwich.

They don't drink alcohol (working) or require a sit down meal with the guests.

SarahSissions · 10/10/2022 14:18

Yes of course! Anyone who is there over meal times.

ReenyRednek · 10/10/2022 14:20

If you brought them there, feed them.
If they work for the venue, then no.

JackieDaws · 10/10/2022 14:33

2bazookas · 10/10/2022 14:14

I'd provide tea/cofee/soft drinks, and a sandwich.

They don't drink alcohol (working) or require a sit down meal with the guests.

Yes, basic food for the trade.

Daisymae55 · 10/10/2022 14:40

It honestly depends. Our photographer/videographer/coordinator were with us from 11am - 9/10pm so we absolutely fed them and it’s unreasonable not to IMO. They grafted every moment of the wedding except the 20 minutes to eat so I’d have felt very guilty not feeding them. Our caterer actually gave us a discount on meals for suppliers (same meals and portion sizes) which was really nice . Other venders eg dj, florist etc were only with us a few hours so didn’t do so with them (although we did say dj could help self to buffet in the evening as was there from 6ish - 11.30pm)

Polly99 · 10/10/2022 14:40

If they want feeding that should be raised and agreed up front.
I got married a million years ago and we had a string quartet who asked for some sandwiches and soft drinks to be provided, so that was fine.

The CF photographer came up to me halfway through the wedding and suggested that since we'd had a no-show he should take their place for dinner. He then spent the evening letching after my mother's friends' 15 year old daughter. He seemed to think the wedding was all about him and I suggested (politely) he might like to leave after the speeches. Not something I wanted to be managing at my own wedding.

toddlingtortoise · 10/10/2022 15:07

It is standard. The caterers usually do them some pasta or something easy and filling for them, not the main guest meal.

sabs22 · 10/10/2022 15:36

We provided a meal for the photographer who was there from early morning prep until after first few dances. He didn’t expect it, although others we looked at had it in their contract. My dad kept the band going with drinks, they were friends of his although he would have done it anyway, they also knew to help themselves at the evening buffet. Hair and make up girls were welcome to join the female party on grazing snacks/drinks as we got ready.

MsSquiz · 10/10/2022 15:41

We provided a bar meal & soft drinks (I think it was a budget of £20 for food) for our photographer and videographers as they were there for the full day and our venue was attached to a pub so they could go through to eat.

Other vendors (band, photo booth people, etc) were only there a few hours for the evening so we didn't provide anything for them.

I have seen people provide a full wedding breakfast for some suppliers which seems silly as it's very expensive and most venues could easily provide something else

SavingsThreads · 10/10/2022 16:05

@cc1997 it's not about will/ won't it's about why is this the norm? There are hundreds of jobs where people are working all day away from kitchen facilities and don't get fed, so why is this so ringfenced? Not saying it's good or bad, just why is it so enshrined?

It's like why we MUST tip waiters but not other minimum wage staff