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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School gate etiquette

87 replies

UN17280 · 10/10/2022 06:57

Just read another posters thread on this-made me have a little question of myself! I'm new to the whole school picking up and dropping off and will quite happily wander in to the front of the queue by the gates-there is always a lot of space and I haven't noticed any eye rolling etc? Certainly haven't been shoulder to shoulder pushing past adults or kids as if they're giving out cakes for the first one in (trust me if they were I'd be moving faster😄)
Question is-what is correct school gate etiquette?

OP posts:
RomeoMcFlourish · 10/10/2022 06:58

So you’re walking past other people who have arrived before you and are already queueing to get further to the front? You won’t be making yourself popular if you are.

eurochick · 10/10/2022 07:00

It depends on the system. Our school has pick up by car and anyone nipping to the front of the queue would get pretty short shrift from everyone else.

Chattycathydoll · 10/10/2022 07:00

At DD’s school there isn’t a queue as such. Just a crowd of people vaguely milling about. Some closer to the gates, some not. No one minds, not everyone wants to rush in.

Original poster
UN17280 · 10/10/2022 07:01

That is exactly what I'm doing and didn't even think it would be an issue since, like I said there's a lot of spaces there (and no one seems in a hurry since they're mostly chatting with each other, although now I'm wondering if they're chatting about me!)

OP posts:
MassiveSalad22 · 10/10/2022 07:02

What do you mean? What queue? Of course it’s gojng to vary school to school, or at our school - class to class.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 10/10/2022 07:03

If there is an actual queue I expect it’s best not to cut in. We have similar at ours and I try to time it so I arrive as the gate opens, or wait on the other side of the road until it does.

Burnt0utMum · 10/10/2022 07:03

A lot of people amble about chatting when the gates open and walk really slow. I'm in a rush to get back to work so I just walk past them, don't think it bothers anyone.

olympicsrock · 10/10/2022 07:03

People just mill about chatting at our school

DCINightingale · 10/10/2022 07:09

If the gate is open as I'm walking up I will overtake people of they are going slower than me. But if its closed, there's a queue, and I join the back of it. Queue jumpers are up there with the double yellow line parkers, who feel it's their god given right to park as close to the school as possible.

OriginalUsername3 · 10/10/2022 07:14

If there's a queue, you join the queue. Are you British? It should be instinctive.

If there's just people walking towards the school then go at your own pace. If people are waiting then you wait in line. Do you just walk to the front of the bus stop when the bus comes?

MotherOfCrocodiles · 10/10/2022 07:19

I think it's often not clear if there is a queue as such because some people are definitely queueing to get there asap and others are standing chatting and not moving as far forward as they could or looking what's going on. I try not to walk past anyone who is actively queuing but if I stood behind everyone who was there before me and not getting on with dropping their kids, id be there forever

Zonder · 10/10/2022 07:21

We never had queues, we had a gathering. Everyone stood around the fence but there wasn't a front or back like a queue and children came out in the order they lined up in if there was an adult to collect them.

Singleandproud · 10/10/2022 07:24

At DDs school people didn't queue but milled around, the children weren't released until they saw their adult so if you could see your child moving to the front was the only way to get them.

Original poster
UN17280 · 10/10/2022 07:26

OriginalUsername3 · 10/10/2022 07:14

If there's a queue, you join the queue. Are you British? It should be instinctive.

If there's just people walking towards the school then go at your own pace. If people are waiting then you wait in line. Do you just walk to the front of the bus stop when the bus comes?

Crikey you made a lot of assumptions there didn't you?!
Like I said, was just asking a question to garner opinions

OP posts:
Mumofsend · 10/10/2022 07:26

Ours is more a crowd unless its before the gates open. I wait with mine in the car and then go straight in through the middle

bigbeautifulmonster · 10/10/2022 07:26

We just mill about and teacher lets out children one by one as they see each parent. I wouldn't have the nerve to barge up to the front, right up to the gate, but if I'm in a hurry I kind of subtly edge forward so teacher sees me.
Eyes would be rolled if I stood at the front each day, even if I was there first.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 10/10/2022 07:31

I've been to lots of schools and never seen a line of parents at pickup it's usually always a crowd but you pop yourself behind whoever is there first if there's no room alongside. Going in front of whoever is there is frowned upon.
Teacher usually catches your eye and sends the kids out one by one Starting at the front.
I have another school to rush to so our teacher knows to send mine out quick if I give her a wave.

Clockwatching54321 · 10/10/2022 07:34

If people are just stood around chatting and there isn’t a queue then I don’t see any issue with dropping your kid off first or towards the front. We have the same at our school and never once have I heard people talking about other parents or rolling their eyes. I honestly thought this was a bit made up as I’ve never experienced it (nor would I put up with it if someone started talking about another parent)

However if there is a queue then waiting at the back is most definitely the etiquette.

BonesOfWhatYouBelieve · 10/10/2022 07:34

Depends how "formal" the queue is, and what the system is that you are all waiting for. What happens at the front - for example, is the teacher sending children out one by one, starting with the nearest parent?

notdaddycool · 10/10/2022 07:35

I join the back of the queue, but if someone I know well is in the back 3 or 4 people I sometimes go and join them and don’t feel too awful (just a little bit awful).

TheHoover · 10/10/2022 07:38

I’ve no idea (new reception parent also) and wondering this myself. I tend to feel that if people are milling around chatting and not coming up to the door when it opens then you can walk straight up but I have had people then move ‘assertively’ in front of me. If I am ‘milling around chatting’ I am not in a hurry and not paying attention to anyone nipping in front.

I also try to make sure I am not ever early.

Its all a load of crap to be bothered about but I have to admit to being quite bothered if I am seen as a queue jumper. And DH has had his teeth sucked at him for something or other which I have to avoid because it makes me see red

toomanyhobbies · 10/10/2022 07:40

In the morning before the gates open there is a crowd that can the be queue like at our school. Dc like to go and stand with their friends so I move

toomanyhobbies · 10/10/2022 07:42

Pressed to early
I move through everyone to go to through the first gate where their friends are. There is lots of space and I’m not bothered what people think.
At afternoon pick up if you arrive before the gates open then there is more of a queue of parents and I will wait in line. Our gates open 15mins before end of school and everyone goes and stands where their dc class comes out.

MRex · 10/10/2022 07:47

Our reception classes have a queue, as did nursery. One of the childminders sometimes skips forward when she's doing lots of collections (5 gates for 2 schools), which I wouldn't mind as such if she would just ask. Occasionally a parent with an activity after school asks if they can go in front and nobody minds. 2 other parents out of 60 regularly queue jump, and yes everyone rolls their eyes very hard at them. People chat in the queue because the gates aren't open yet, I'm not sure if nor why someone could interpret that as not queuing.

We all think our kid is the most special one who deserves to be picked up first, and we all have busy lives meaning we don't really have the 15 minutes to stand around waiting. Nobody is actually different or more special than the others though, so we queue.

Angelinflipflops · 10/10/2022 07:47

Ask! Simple, chat, make friends