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AIBU?

School gate etiquette

87 replies

UN17280 · 10/10/2022 06:57

Just read another posters thread on this-made me have a little question of myself! I'm new to the whole school picking up and dropping off and will quite happily wander in to the front of the queue by the gates-there is always a lot of space and I haven't noticed any eye rolling etc? Certainly haven't been shoulder to shoulder pushing past adults or kids as if they're giving out cakes for the first one in (trust me if they were I'd be moving faster😄)
Question is-what is correct school gate etiquette?

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OriginalUsername3 · 10/10/2022 07:48

UN17280 · 10/10/2022 07:26

Crikey you made a lot of assumptions there didn't you?!
Like I said, was just asking a question to garner opinions

What assumptions? The British and instinctive queueing was a joke.

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RainbowsMoonbeams · 10/10/2022 07:50

The etiquette here seems to be everyone lines up, waits their turn, bar a few in a group that barge to the front to ‘chat’ to someone they know at the front.

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Angelinflipflops · 10/10/2022 07:51

Poss only one assumption was made, that you're British, it seems not

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UN17280 · 10/10/2022 07:56

Angelinflipflops · 10/10/2022 07:51

Poss only one assumption was made, that you're British, it seems not

Again with the assumptions...🙄 keep it easy and breezy MN

@OriginalUsername3 my bad, I actually do quite like a queue joke 😄

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Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 10/10/2022 08:00

Wouldn't make a difference at our primary school. The kids are lined up before they come out and released in that order (and every single day at least the first 2 or 3 have no one there to collect them yet - sod's law!). Doesn't matter if you stand right by the door, at the back of the playground or arrive 10 minutes early or just after the bell. So if it's like that you're fine! I don't recognise a lot of the school gate angst I read about on here though - most people are there to get their kids and go; there's no time for gossiping, comments, huffing and puffing, clique-forming etc.

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zebrapig · 10/10/2022 08:01

Depends on your school. Ours let the kids out from wherever random order they line up inside so it doesn't matter where you're stood.
I tend to find that people tend to stand in a similar place each day. Sometimes I'll stand at the front if I'm in a hurry to try and get her quicker as sometimes the teacher doesn't spot me. Her class is often last out though and usually doesn't come out u til 5/10mins after the official end of the school day.

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sandytooth · 10/10/2022 08:02

This sounds like a minefield.

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Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 08:02

I’m with you! If people choose to stand metres apart rather than any proper queue then just get in a find space!
kids come out in different classes,
different times etc at our school - older ones just walk out. If it’s not real queue then go for it.

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Angelinflipflops · 10/10/2022 08:05

I'm not sure one can control the direction of chat on an anonymous Internet forum

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FridayTheThirteeth · 10/10/2022 08:08

Whoops - don't you just 'love' the mother who wanders to the front so her little poppet gets in first.

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EmeraldShamrock1 · 10/10/2022 08:10

That is fairly standard at my DC school.

Classes come out through different doors.

2 Classes from each door.

Parents circle around door and step forward to acknowledge DC from teachers and go.

There is enough room.

Smile politely and you have it sorted.

I have a quick 2 minute chat most days but never hang around once the DC is done.

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EmeraldShamrock1 · 10/10/2022 08:13

You should never skip at drop off.

Some DC pride themselves on being early at the top of the line.

No skipping.

I'd explain the process to you in this situation if you were skipping DC.

You'd definitely get eyeballing for skipping morning line.

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UnderCoverFieldAgent · 10/10/2022 08:15

When the kids were at school we all just casually stood in the playground and the kids ran to us. This was 15-13 years ago though so things may have changed.

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Randomcommentary · 10/10/2022 08:15

In some schools parents queue up, and the child of whoever is at the front of queue is given to them.
In other schools the children queue up and the parents stand randomly around the playground and wait for their child to come to the front of the queue.
OP it sounds like you’re the latter and just stand in a random playground space, which is fine.

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High5InALowRide · 10/10/2022 08:18

I frequently push my child jn the front of the queue 🤦‍♀️ they're supposed to line up alone now in his year but there is only ever 4 or 5 kids queuing followed by a vague queue of parents holding hands with their PFB taking 5 mins each morning to chat to the teacher and taking over the rest of the outside area so I shove them in behind the children who are doing what they've been told to do otherwise he ends up stuck behind the parents and misses the queue going in, gets upset and I have to stay to take him in. Its my passive aggressive way of trying to get other parents to follow the blooming rules so that class starts on time and I can get to work!

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Bard6817 · 10/10/2022 08:21

Our kids queued to get out, so parents were in a big semi circle so all could be seen…. Our kids were very naturally last to join the internal queue so no point me making a point to get to the front. I’m also tall, so could be seen a head height above all others anyway. Still one of the last out every day. I’m sure some kids are encouraged to be at the front of their internal queue.

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sandytooth · 10/10/2022 08:23

Why do they have to queue to wait to go in? Can't they just go in? I don't get it. They all end up in the same place and on time.

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KeepOutingMyselfAnotherNameChange · 10/10/2022 08:24

Yes yabu. Guaranteed they are speaking about you 'pushing in'.

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lightisnotwhite · 10/10/2022 08:25

UnderCoverFieldAgent · 10/10/2022 08:15

When the kids were at school we all just casually stood in the playground and the kids ran to us. This was 15-13 years ago though so things may have changed.

Yep. All the parents in our year got on great and enjoyed a chat. Kids with activities went of quick and the others enjoyed a play for 10 minutes whilst the parents finished their conversations.
I always feel sorry for the parents with pick up angst. It was was of the nicer bits of the day ( yes I was full time working parent).

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bloodyeverlastinghell · 10/10/2022 08:28

Chattycathydoll · 10/10/2022 07:00

At DD’s school there isn’t a queue as such. Just a crowd of people vaguely milling about. Some closer to the gates, some not. No one minds, not everyone wants to rush in.

Same at ours. There's a sort of loose etiquette that parents of little ones will go a bit closer as teachers need to identify a collecting grown up. Also they bring out youngest class first. Parents of older children sometimes don't come in the gate and mill around outside or at park opposite.

No one would mind you wandering past/ Parents often have a spot so they are easily spotted by child but it's not a queue.

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TheOrigRights · 10/10/2022 08:33

If it's a queue (which is what you say in your OP) then no, you shouldn't go to the front.
If it's not a queue (which is more how you go on to describe it) then you're not pushing in because it's just a crowd of people.

I think maybe if you stay back and observe you'll be able to get your answer.

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TheOrigRights · 10/10/2022 08:34

sandytooth · 10/10/2022 08:23

Why do they have to queue to wait to go in? Can't they just go in? I don't get it. They all end up in the same place and on time.

I imagine they are waiting for the gate to open?

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skgnome · 10/10/2022 08:34

Depends on the system
DD’s school is more a group of people around the gates, kids come out on a queue and the teachers let them out when they see the parent/adult collecting
if your kid doesn’t sees you they stand to the side
my DD is ridiculously bad at spotting me, so when I see her class I go near the front of the crowd… but there’s no line of parents

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gogohmm · 10/10/2022 08:36

I picked up from outside the classroom (infants, had doors directly outside) and playground for juniors. Never queued

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LittleMG · 10/10/2022 08:48

The people who get their first don’t go to
the front which means I’d have to wait outside so I do go to the front

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