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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a cleaner?

82 replies

Cherryapples · 09/10/2022 12:40

I work three days a week, so it feels as if I should be able to manage it myself.

However, the reality is that I’m struggling. I have one child who is 20 months old, and I am a teacher.

So as not to drip feed, on the days I work, I am up at around 6, give ds some milk, shower and get ready, get ds teeth brushed and washed, dressed, out of the house for around 730, take ds to nursery. In work for 8, leave at 4, pick ds up, home for around 430. Then ds has his bath at 630, bed at around 7. I do generally have some work to do at home.

I do have two days off a week with him and my thinking was I’d be able to do housework then. But just keeping on top of things seems to take up most of all my time - putting toys away and cleaning up after lunch and dinner. To be totally honest, I really struggle to do anything when ds is there as he just follows you around messing it up!

But looking into it, it really is costly. Is there an easier way I can keep on top of it all myself?

OP posts:
Retrievemysanity · 09/10/2022 12:43

I used to get the DD’s to help me put the toys away. Making dinner etc I’d clear up as I went along and the DD’s would ‘help’ wipe the table afterwards while I stacked dishwasher etc. I found I got more done when involving them so they’d help sort washing for me into colours, whites etc. But in all honesty I think I mainly did stuff once they were in bed and just didn’t put pressure on myself to have a perfect house.

Original poster
Cherryapples · 09/10/2022 12:45

I definitely don’t want a perfect house, but if I’m honest there is a lot of stuff that’s just not getting done. Ds will help to a point with putting toys away but then he’ll just get more out 😂 and he also does things like takes books off the bookshelves and so on. He’s also going through an irritating phase of throwing food.

OP posts:
notdaddycool · 09/10/2022 12:45

We put it off forever, but do it.

Topgub · 09/10/2022 12:46

It shouldbt be that hard to keep on top of cleaning for 1 adult and 1 toddler

Especially not when you have 4 days off a week.

TaraRhu · 09/10/2022 12:47

Get one every two weeks. We do that. You just have to top and tail it in the middle. So long as you get a good cleaner then it will help.

I found it hard to ever get on top of it as you don't get the 3 hours or so in a block to do the cleaning. So parts of the house were clean but none of it was all clean at once.

custardbear · 09/10/2022 12:51

Yep, every 2 weeks for us too, they do the floors and skirting's, two bathrooms and kitchen - we sort the rest. Dusting rarely gets done, windows cleaned inside sometimes, winDow cleaner every month to go outside - both work full time and like off days to spend with kids and catch up on sleep and paperwork

Original poster
Cherryapples · 09/10/2022 12:58

That would be really good, I think. Staying on top of the laundry seems to take a disproportionate amount of time. Then as I say keeping downstairs reasonable - cleaning up the kitchen and living areas - and then weeks go by and I realise I haven’t cleaned the bathroom or hoovered upstairs (wooden flooring downstairs.) How much do people pay?

OP posts:
minticecreamisjustok · 09/10/2022 13:05

I have a cleaner 2 hours once a week, doesn't sound very much but it really helps. I use an agency as I didn't know how to find one, which is good, because if your not keen on the cleaner, you can request a new one and cover holidays and sickness. Bank transfer directly to cleaner each visit and there is a quarterly fee for the agency.

Original poster
Cherryapples · 09/10/2022 13:08

How much do you pay, if you don’t mind me asking? It’s a real indulgence with the cost of living going up and with me working part time but I am finding it tough going.

OP posts:
minticecreamisjustok · 09/10/2022 13:15

My cleaner is 12 per hour and agency cost £2 per hour. They seem about 14/15 pound per hour where I am.

Thedogscollar · 09/10/2022 13:16

Topgub · 09/10/2022 12:46

It shouldbt be that hard to keep on top of cleaning for 1 adult and 1 toddler

Especially not when you have 4 days off a week.

How helpful of you🙄 What's with all the arsey comments from some users on here. I see the same culprits again and again. If you've nothing helpful to say then scroll past.

@Cherryapples
I'd say what you are doing is bloody hard work so you deserve a cleaner. Maybe you could just have your cleaner do a deep clean in bathroom kitchen once a week and you can try and keep on top with the the everyday tidy up.

Original poster
Cherryapples · 09/10/2022 13:17

Thanks @minticecreamisjustok

@Thedogscollar half of Mumsnet can live my life better than me, apparently 😂

OP posts:
luckylavender · 09/10/2022 13:18

Retrievemysanity · 09/10/2022 12:43

I used to get the DD’s to help me put the toys away. Making dinner etc I’d clear up as I went along and the DD’s would ‘help’ wipe the table afterwards while I stacked dishwasher etc. I found I got more done when involving them so they’d help sort washing for me into colours, whites etc. But in all honesty I think I mainly did stuff once they were in bed and just didn’t put pressure on myself to have a perfect house.

The baby is 20 months old! Did you read the post?

honeylulu · 09/10/2022 13:19

I remember the days of toys everywhere! I find mess really stressful so would clear up twice a day, when child was napping and again when they went to bed. The easiest way of managing this was to have designated toy baskets so it would take 5 mind to lob everything in and shove basket out of sight.

At mealtimes I'd put a splash mat under the highchair which caught most dropped/ thrown food. It could be gathered up at the corners and shaken into the bin.

Laundry yes that was constant when they were little. I'm not in favour of washing outer clothes more often than they need but my babies/toddlers got filthy after one wear. It wasn't the washing but the hanging and folding! There isn't an easy way around this. I'd clean bathrooms, dust and hoover during naps though H would hoover at the weekend if I hadn't managed it. It's hard to do those things when your child is awake and needs watching though. I do remember it being stressful and if I wanted a clean and tidy house there was never a break and until I returned to work full time there was no budget for a cleaner.

When we did get one it was 3 hours a fortnight- bathrooms, kitchen, mopping hard floors and vacuuming all carpets. I think it worked out around £120 a month. We still had to tidy and deal with laundry, bedding and bins and a quick wipe down of the kitchen every day but it was much more manageable.

If you can afford it, go for it. Its easy to think "well I've got two days off so I ought to fit it in" but times are different now. My mum and grandma used to stick their babies/toddlers in a playpen while they got on with chores.

Thedogscollar · 09/10/2022 13:19

@Cherryapples It's so tedious though isn't it and just rude.
Sorry don't want to derail thread so back to others for some useful advice. Good luck.

Perfect28 · 09/10/2022 13:19

Is your little ones father involved at all? If he lives elsewhere can you catch up on the days your little one is there? If he lives at home can he pick up some slack? I'm wondering if you consider putting little into nursery for one extra morning a week to give you a bit of a chance to do house stuff, but equally the other parent Doing their equal share is probably the answer here.

BeautifulElephant · 09/10/2022 13:21

What about in the evenings when he's gone to bed?

woff45 · 09/10/2022 13:23

Of course it's not unreasonable. End of the day it's buying time, whatever hours your work, time is always precious!

Topgub · 09/10/2022 13:23

@Thedogscollar If you've nothing helpful to say then scroll past.

Take your own advice.

The op literally asks 'Is there an easier way I can keep on top of it all myself?'

If they didn't want an answer to that, they shouldn't have asked it.

CheezePleeze · 09/10/2022 13:25

Does your child have contact with their dad?

If they do, can you 'binge clean' on those days?

HangOnToYourself · 09/10/2022 13:28

I fucking despise cleaning and I think it shouldnt just be about coping if you are spending your life cleaning and running around after dc. Getting a cleaner will actually give you some time back for yourself so if you can afford it do it. I work full time and I'm a single parent, you can bet your ass I'm not spending my precious free time cleaning

Original poster
Cherryapples · 09/10/2022 13:29

I live with DH, sorry, so no contact as in divorced.

@BeautifulElephant in theory I could but honestly ten o clock is late for me these days 😂 and I do have school work to do. Plus hoovering etc is noisy. I think I’ll use half term to try to do a deep clean of the whole house and then revisit. Don’t get me wrong it’s not awful but there are things that I should do more regularly that I don’t.

OP posts:
Topgub · 09/10/2022 13:32

@Cherryapples

You live with your oh? So you're not a single parent?

Why isn't your oh cleaning ir looking after his kid?

I mean, if you want a cleaner get 1 but the idea that 2 adults can't keep up with general housework is just a bit daft really.

Simonjt · 09/10/2022 13:33

We both work three days, well actually, he is on adoption leave so not working at the minute. We have a cleaner, like you we have more than enough time to do it ourselves, but actually four hours of a cleaner each week is fairly reasonable.

When it was just me and a toddler I didn’t have a cleaner and worked four days a week (short days, so probably similar working hours to you). As the little one is in bed by 7pm, you could just do 30 minutes each night and you would still have lots of time for work, TV etc, once you’re in a routine it is much much easier to maintain.

Original poster
Cherryapples · 09/10/2022 13:35

OK @Topgub so tell me what I should be doing differently, not just saying I’m wrong. Genuinely. Smile

OP posts: