To want a cleaner?

[Cherryapples]

I work three days a week, so it feels as if I should be able to manage it myself.

However, the reality is that I’m struggling. I have one child who is 20 months old, and I am a teacher.

So as not to drip feed, on the days I work, I am up at around 6, give ds some milk, shower and get ready, get ds teeth brushed and washed, dressed, out of the house for around 730, take ds to nursery. In work for 8, leave at 4, pick ds up, home for around 430. Then ds has his bath at 630, bed at around 7. I do generally have some work to do at home.

I do have two days off a week with him and my thinking was I’d be able to do housework then. But just keeping on top of things seems to take up most of all my time - putting toys away and cleaning up after lunch and dinner. To be totally honest, I really struggle to do anything when ds is there as he just follows you around messing it up!

But looking into it, it really is costly. Is there an easier way I can keep on top of it all myself?

Yep we are in the every 2 week camp too and I'm currently on mat leave!

I find it has also made my DH keep ontop of his clutter and put things into a place so that the cleaner can actually clean. It takes the edge off the bits we never seem to get round to but we do hoovering, kitchen etc in between.

I'm not a martyr

I just dont find cleaning/housework difficult.

Its not hard and doesn't take long. If you'd rather pay someone else (usually another woman) to do it for you because you cant be arsed obviously up to you.

But that doesn't make people who don't have or don't want/need a cleaner martyrs

It’s hard, as we do want another baby so one room is full of baby paraphernalia! Once I know my family is complete then I can sell or give away things like the pram, crib, bouncy chair, but in limbo at the moment

I think we’ll definitely look into getting a cleaner, I thought I’d have more time with two days off a week but that’s six more meals with DS which in itself is pretty stressful!

You may or may not be a martyr @Topgub but for whatever reason you are being a complete arsehole to me. Will you pack it in?

We have one that comes 2hrs a week. They are very efficient and do a basic clean of the whole house. Robo vacuum and mop in between (you can put this on whilst they’re napping). If you can’t afford a cleaner then can’t you do basic tidying whilst they nap and then do bathroom/kitchen at the weekends (one cleans, the other babysits). We both work 50hrs a week so have limited time during the week and didn’t want to spend all weekend cleaning so it works well for us. Can you increase nursery days so you have a morning or day off to do housework/admin/other catch up work?

Yeah, ignore Topgub and get a cleaner OP

But for the love of God, please change your mentality regarding your husband.

Not everything is down to you and nor should it be.

I’d rather not to be honest @gretr - it would probably be more cost effective to have a cleaner and plus I would feel guilty about having DS in nursery more than three days. I think that’s a good balance for him at the moment.

@Cherryapples

I'm really not.

You asked questions. I answered

@CheezePleeze

Where have I said she shouldn't?

Do you have much stuff/clutter OP? I only ask because I used to have way too much stuff, and after massively decluttering I find keeping on top of the house loads easier. I have three little ones so things like excess toys/clothes were always a big job to manage, so reducing things like that has just meant easier tidy ups, less laundry, and just a bit more time to then clean rather than always be in a constant cycle of tidying.

If you can afford a cleaner though, I’d say go for it! If you pay for 2 hours a week, say, just see it as buying yourself that time back- to either spend with your son, or do whatever other million jobs there always are, or (shock horror!) even have a tiny bit of time to yourself!!

It’s how you answered, @Topgub , not the answering in itself.

It is really frustrating when someone asks a question and gets annoyed because they don’t like the answer, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Every single point you have made here could have been expressed in a way that wasn’t disparaging and rude. Talking about ‘can’t be arsed’ is being an arsehole, and I’m not normally that blunt.

I spend quite a lot of time tidying, wiping and cleaning the floor (DS managed to throw his yoghurt everywhere just an hour or so ago - no idea why as doesn’t normally) putting books back on the bookshelf, putting toys away, loading the dishwasher, emptying the dishwasher, cooking, doing the laundry, etc. I’m not lazy. But it does mean, as I’ve said, the bigger jobs just don’t get done, as there are only so many hours in the day.

Helpful suggestions as to how to get them done are welcomed. Rude put downs are not.

Cherryapples

Get a cleaner - you won’t regret it !!

I have a cleaner 2 hours a week and it makes life that much easier and my house more pleasant to be in, if we are ever in a position where I need to start cutting back on things the cleaner will be the very last thing to go !!

Would a man ask this question or feel guilty about getting help?

If you can afford to buy yourself a bit of sanity absolutely do it. If not then try the organised mum method, I've heard good things. I clean other people's houses and am seriously considering taking on another one just to pay for a cleaner myself.

@Cherryapples
.several people on the thread have said they have a cleaner because they can't be arsed / don't want to waste their time.

I'm sorry if you find my responses rude but I think you're taking offense where none was meant

I'd recommend a cleaner. However I do like The Organised Mum Method (although not the name of it!)...
You basically do half an hour housework each week day but by doing one type of room per day e.g.

Monday sitting room
Tuesday bedrooms
Wednesday hall, stairs, landing
Thursday kitchen
Friday one deep clean of something (rotated e.g. oven, outside space)
The you do one item in the bathroom per day on top.

The idea is you then don't do anything at weekends. But obviously in your case you could adapt a bit. I find this way much more manageable.

Your DH should do more too, I think.

OP. I WFH full time and my husband works similar hours to you. We don't have kids and live in a smallish flat. We should of course be able to clean it ourselves.

We are both shit at cleaning. We don't enjoy it, we aren't good at it, it takes us far longer than it should do. My husband in particular seems to have 'mess blindness' and just will not tidy up behind himself, so it ends up being an ever increasing backlog of mess, clutter and ming.

For us a cleaner has been a life saver (and very probably a marriage saver, along with the dishwasher!). I really struggled with the concept at first - very working class background and lots of expectations that I 'should' be able to 'just get on with it like everyone else' (thanks mum!).

Frankly I don't give a shit what other people think, if it makes your life easier and you can afford it then why wouldn't you?? That's time saved that you could spend playing with your toddler or doing whatever it is that makes you happy. Why make life unnecessarily hard for yourself?

We pay quite a bit over the odds because our cleaner is a superstar, but the going rate here in Bristol is about £12-14 p/h. Try it for a trial period - I'm sure you'll find it worth every penny.

Just get a cleaner OP. You don't need anyone's permission. Nor does it matter what anyone else does or doesn't do in their own homes. YOUR life is about YOUR priorities.

Never ask for advice on MN unless you work full time, are a SP and have 10 kids under 2, because you'll get told your being lazy/ridiculous/"I've got 11 kids under 2 and I manage!" (Sarcasm to some extent - people here can be helpful)

If you have a tough time with cleaning, can afford a cleaner and it would make your life easier, do it! The service can always be stopped if it doesn't turn out to be helpful.

I work three days a week. I have a cleaner.

If you can afford one, get one!

Those first few years with your lo are precious and go quickly, spend as much time with them as you can.

We have a cleaner for 3 hrs a week (15 an hour) which is great as she does bathrooms, kitchens and floors.

I will say that I'm surprised you only mentioned your DH and his involvement halfway down the thread. Mine works 60+ hours a week and still helps. Even when I did 2-3 days a week when transitioning back from mat leave he did housework with me every night. When I was home with baby I had very limited time for actual housework after food shopping, prepping and other admin.

We have to do the following every day to keep the house ok:

One wash processed (i.e. one on, one hung, one put away)
Clean kitchen every night. So all surfaces cleaned
Tidy as we go
When I brush my teeth I put things away with one hand and run my face flannel over the basin etc

We have one baby, one toddler and one teen. I have zero tolerance for the teen or DH leaving stuff on the floor or things around. Nothing touches the floor!

I also find doing all my food prep in blocks helps. So this morning I prepped roast (for today), made a Bolognese for tomorrow, tofu and walnut taco 'meat' for Tuesday (will just knock up salad and put mini wraps in toaster for tacos) and chopped a load of veg for noodle stir fry on weds. On Wednesday night I prep something to slow cook on Thursday and on Friday night we do something easy and junky like veggie nuggets. As a rule we eat leftovers for lunch, otherwise it's just soup and a roll. I.e. I don't cook several times a day. And I get a Tesco shop delivered once a week and don't do top up shops. If it's not on the list, it doesn't get ordered and we do without.

Sorry for essay, just some of the ways I save time. I work full time at a consultancy so quite full on and often travel and feel like we manage ok but it's all down to loads of organisation and discipline.

Oh also declutter, declutter, declutter. Clutter will make things so much harder!

I work PT (20 hours) and my OH full time (teacher). I also have Fridays off. We have four children between 2 and 12 years old. We decided to hire a cleaner for three hours per week as we weren’t on top of it.
she does the downstairs (kitchen, Lounge , hall, and guest toilet), the bathroom and landing upstairs, and the stairs from top to bottom. She doesn’t do our beds, bedrooms, kids rooms or laundry.

We feel much better knowing the basic clean has been taken care of. There is still enough to be taken care of.

If you can afford it, try it out.

I work part-time and have a cleaner. I could do all the cleaning, but I don't want to. I could watch less crap telly in the evening and do it then. Or I could get DH to do something with the kids at the weekend and do it (or vice versa, I get the kids he does the cleaning) but I'd rather pay someone to do it and enjoy the time together as a family.

If you can afford it, go for it. We get 3 hrs every fortnight and it makes the world of difference. I understand it is a luxury, but I'm in a place that I can afford it, so I do!

@luckylavender yes I read the post. At 20 months a toddler should be able to put toys in a basket and ‘wipe’ a table while you get on with other things. My girls’ nursery used to do similar with the kids which is what gave me the idea initially. We used to do silly songs to it and made it into a game. I found if I was trying to do things while they just played, it never really worked as they wanted to be involved.

@Cherryapples oh god, the pulling books off the bookcase, nightmare!!! We used to do the toy tidy up just before bathtime so then they never came back downstairs to get everything out again!