Yr 7 DS has lost so much uniform already!

[Tobaiass22]

Morning all

My 11 yr old DS has since starting secondary school in September lost the following;

His student Oyster card
School drawstring bag with trainers on the train
Pair of trousers after PE
Jumper
Blazer
Brothers Oyster card he was borrowing until we can replace his own
PE shirt
School access card (which was with original Oyster card)

We tried putting the second Oyster card on an old work lanyard around his neck, but it has still gotten lost!

Before this I told him repeatedly to keep his pass in the zipped inner pocket of his blazer, yet the pass went missing

There is no issue re bullying, rather forgetfulness/ carelessness which is really annoying

School doesn't allow mobile phones, so some parents have brought kids a tracker kids watch which allows parents to contact kids in an emergency but, I had planned to get this for him also, but scared he will just loose this also!

It has already cost me a fortune to replace most of the original kit, but even on Friday the last Oyster card, blazer and jumper went missing and I had to rescue him from the train station after work as otherwise he would have been stranded

I am totally at my wits end and do not know how else to get him to be more careful with his items, so fed up! And thinking of not getting him Christmas presents and using the money to replace school kit instead

So has anyone else had this experience with their kids and are there any tactics for lessening likelihood of stuff going missing?

I would also his email his form tutor and make them aware

I'd start by speaking to school to see whether there's any possibility he's being bullied or has SEN.

If not, you'll need to work on routines for him to remember stuff. Putting his card into his blazer pocket, for instance - stand there and watch him do it. If you drop him off, can you watch him go through the turnstiles (I'm not sure exactly how it works) and then get him to stop, turn around, and show you that he's putting it back in his pocket?

For Games, if he's not getting changed back into uniform afterwards, then uniform goes straight into his kit bag when he takes it off - no hanging it up for it to fall off etc.

I'd also try to replace lost things with secondhand stuff where possible, and get him to pay a few pounds towards it; second time something is lost, he pays for it himself or goes to school without it and gets detention.

My SIL was like this at school; she'd just lose everything and it was immediately replaced by PIL. She was absolutely hopeless with stuff until she started having to buy her own things when she moved out (aged 26). Now she's suddenly able to look after them perfectly well.

Dyspraxia?

His stuffs getting stolen. My dozy mini dory doesn't even lose that much stuff. And she's as forgetful as you get.

Start getting cheaper/less desirable versions of things. Stuff no one would want to nick.

I was thinking dyspraxia or similar too. It is so much harder for some of us than others.

Please do not beg the teachers! Teachers are so busy already they don't have time to be looking for spare kit or missing items. Imagine if all parents contacted the teachers every time something was lost! There would be no time to prepare or teach good lessons.

Label things so staff can hand it in or straight back to the pupil next lesson, teach your child to be organised and have consequences when they are being flippant with their belongings.

Oyster card - get one of those elastic zippy things that attach to a bag and have a plastic holder for the card.

Phone - ask if its possible to have a very cheap Nokia payg phone with no photo and Internet. At least he can call you. Maybe hand it in to school office at beginning of day and pick up at end.

Lost uniform- if it's not deliverable online, and assuming nobody is nicking it, not only dock pocket money but also make him go through the rigmarole of going to the uniform shop to buy it.

H teaches PE, he always says the boys are horrendous for losing stuff. Label everything, twice, and get him to look for his belongings.

My ds was an absolute nightmare. And he had the nerve to blame Stagecoach, despite the fact that on several occasions drivers kept his bag on the bus so they could hand it to him, rather than have it disappear into a black hole lost property.

He is now a responsible 20 year old medical student. He came home this weekend, met us at the station, and as the train pulled away realised he’d left his bag on it

My now Y10 DD was diagnosed with ADHD and autism only months ago. She was EXACTLY like this in Y7/8/9 and is now only just improving, thanks in no small part to her ADHD medication. The things that help here are:

• bus pass in a card holder that is bungee tied to her school backpack
• having a photograph of her bus pass on her phone - and mine so I can text it to her if needs be
• spreading the risk, so no keeping money/school ID card/travel card together, even though this is what school recommends
• only buying the cheapest supermarket trainers for PE (it’s a 35-mile round trip to the bus depot to collect lost belongings)
• buying spare PE socks and a spare tie (the children get a detention for not having a tie)
• having DD’s initials professionally embroidered on the outside of her (expensive) PE top and shorts

I feel for you OP as it is infuriating but it may be that your DS cannot help his dysfunction. The contrast between my Y10 DD and my six-year-old is massive; the latter always comes out of school/activities etc with all her belongings, and not because she is reminded by the adults around her. She just has good executive functioning skills.

Please can we stop labelling these children, I teach many with adhd and dyspraxia and only a couple of these have lost items during their time at school and they have other learning disabilities as well. Ensure that strategies are in place so they do not forget items. Yes, these are boundaries to learning if he has these conditions but it is completely normal for your son to take accountability if he does have them. I would get him a tick list which he needs to tick off items before leaving PE and the school every day. Speak to school and get them on board with this. Perhaps, he can leave PE 5 minutes before the end so he can change alone with no distractions. Can he drop the oystercard with SENCO every morning and pick up before leaving the school at the end of the day? Is he folding his clothes? Do you give him tasks at home which promote responsibility? I would explain that there are financial consequences to his lack of ownership with his belongings which other posters have said. Good luck OP.

We carabina clip pe bag to his school bag .. his pass/timetable are on a flexy retractable cord thingys attached to his school trousers belt loops. His keys are in bungee spring clipped into his bag

Boy has ADHD and would lose everything so if it is detachable we Sharpie everything with full name and form group. Or it is attached to his backpack

Some people find this harder than others - we have been through it too.

A new routine can take a while to settle.

DC hates losing things, but it still happens sometimes. DC has a careful routine for remembering things, but added pressure, like being late, can throw it off.

Definitely things like having to go through crowded ticket barriers or hurry to catch a train, or squeeze through passengers to get to the doors would mean all bets were off here - though in our case I think they would be so focussed on gathering up bags they might miss the stop.

I would talk through things that might help.
For eg have a big enough bag. When you take off your blazer/jumper, or when you get changed etc etc always put it straight into the bag.
A carabiner to clip different bags to each other might help.
When you take out your Oyster card always put it straight back in the same safe place - it’s ok to step to the side and stop in order to do this because it’s important, even if you are late for the train.
Gather your stuff together one stop before you need to get off. A written checklist of the things you need for each day might help here. Look at your checklist before leaving school too.

If i hadn't asked the p.e teacher, the rugby kit would never have been found because it was int he teachers office! Where pupils are not allowed! I work in a school i know how busy teachers are but i also know they are human and are aware of how little yea7s still are and they are adjusting to being at high school. Do ou think teachers have o humanity?

You walk home in PE kit. You come back to the changing room and in the meantime, your trousers have fallen off the peg you put them on onto the floor, someone has picked them up and put them on a different bench, if you have issues with processing info, if they aren’t just exactly where you left them, you can’t see them, and then the cleaners put them in the lost property box.

This is my ds! I can tell him something is on the table in front of him and he's staring at the table and still can't see the item 'because that's not where it's meant to be' even though 9/10 times its there because that's where he put it

My ds has ASD and executive function problems.

OP I think I'd have his phone off and in his bag so he can contact you if needs be. Especially with trains as they are atm.
Or ask school if he can hand it in and get it back. Just explain as you have done here he's really struggling with processing all he has to do and you're worried for his safety. And whilst you're at it ask if they have any of the items handed in?!

Lots of people who find items like this hand to transport or school lost property because the logo gives away where it belongs!

Instead of doing a planned treat at the weekend take him to look through the train lost property?

Bit mean but what else is going to sink in?

My ds is same age but fortunately hasn't lost anything. He's always checking his stuff. Can he use the watch to set reminders to check he has everything before he leaves school and to remind him to collect his things from the train on the way home?

Punch a hole in the oyster card out on a bungie cord and fasten to inside of bag that way he will never lose it as it is stuck to the inside of the bag.

It's only the first half term of secondary school, I'd cut him a bit of slack. Just remind him to gather up his belongings when they announce his stop, make sure he knows where to put his card when he's used ot etc. I think it will improve as time goes on and everything becomes more familiar.

"Born as girls" WTF?