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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when you dress up / make an effort?

65 replies

christmas2022 · 09/10/2022 07:01

Lockdown turned me into a bit of a slob in terms of wearing gym type clothes (although not working out), no make up and wearing my hair up in a bun.

We are long out of lockdown now and I haven't quite ditched these habits.

When do you dress up / make more of an effort with your hair and make up?

Is it every time you leave the house?
Every time you meet people?
Only when working in the office?

It's like I've forgotten how to present myself!

I also find sometimes I'll put a dress on and do my make up for the most mundane of weekend tasks just because I've been quite slobby all week. So one extreme to the other.

Tell me about how you balance this out?

OP posts:
Swampthing55 · 09/10/2022 08:24

I WFH on Zoom all day. This is when I realised I was ageing. I now have cheek fillers, marionette lines and nasal labia fillers six monthly, hair cut every six weeks gel nails every two weeks and wear full face of makeup. If I am meeting in person then it's the same regime. People buy people and if you look a mess in my industry - hnw finance they will go to someone else

doingitforyorkshire · 09/10/2022 08:25

I dont really, I dont like make-up, only wear a light foundation and a bit of mascara if I feel a bit wishy-washy, and my hair is always up in a bun. I wear a uniform 40 hrs a week which is smart so the rest of the time I'm casual even going out. I would avoid formal evening events like the plaque, I hate dressing up that much I feel very uncomfortable and a complete fraud. It's also tricky as I don't/wont wear dresses/skirts/heels/sandals which makes me stand out like a sore thumb and I hate attention.

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 09/10/2022 08:25

For me not wearing make up isn't not making effort. I take great pleasure in my skincare, scents and oils, I love nice smells. I feel more like myself without make up

echt · 09/10/2022 08:26

During lockdown I taught remotely, mostly on camera so always made up and was respectable from the waist up. Nothing much a scarf can't zhuzh up I found.

I wear makeup most days. My hair takes care of itself and only needs attention once every three weeks. Literally.

I dress up, and by that I don't mean a ball gown, but good small designer trousers, boots, good jacket/coat, etc. if I go into town, to a gallery/cinema or do my volunteer work which is arty-farty.

I love dressing up.

RIPQueen · 09/10/2022 08:27

echt · 09/10/2022 08:26

During lockdown I taught remotely, mostly on camera so always made up and was respectable from the waist up. Nothing much a scarf can't zhuzh up I found.

I wear makeup most days. My hair takes care of itself and only needs attention once every three weeks. Literally.

I dress up, and by that I don't mean a ball gown, but good small designer trousers, boots, good jacket/coat, etc. if I go into town, to a gallery/cinema or do my volunteer work which is arty-farty.

I love dressing up.

Same re dressing up. I just love beautiful
clothes!

RainbowSlide · 09/10/2022 08:29

I make an effort when I go to work, or if I'm going out to meet friends or out with dh for a meal. I'm otherwise in active wear looking after my 3yo, and don't bother with make up.

I'll try and straighten my hair or style it when I wash it so it lasts a few days and doesn't need to be tied up even when I'm out and about with my ds, but that doesn't always pan out.

Croque · 09/10/2022 08:33

I think there is a ‘uniform’ for school run parents who are non sporty and a uniform for those who are obviously off to exercise/ do yoga. I don’t bother with makeup but I have a great skin protection/ supplements routine and I am what would conventionally be seen as attractive. I love bleaching my hair, it makes me feel great but it’s probably my main vice! Even today, I am staying at an exclusive, instagram able hotel surrounded by gorgeous people but I cannot bring myself to do much more than if I was, say, meeting someone for lunch in town.l think I do get away with it, perhaps only just!

missmamiecuddleduck · 09/10/2022 08:34

Mostly for special occasions, meetings, travel

Everyday wear is casual bag lady style.

It's funny when an uber driving stops to drop me off in front of my house and say, "You live here??!!"

Croque · 09/10/2022 08:36

For my holidays, I will always buy one nice dress. This time, I bought the dress Carrie Johnson was wearing when she waved goodbye to the Downing Street lot which I feel is an effort compared to usual and additionally daring because I am older than Carrie. I received a lot of compliments too!

Smileeriley · 09/10/2022 08:39

I do my hair and make up every day.
I also get my nails done every two weeks.

WinneyWasherWoman · 09/10/2022 08:41

I struggle with this as I have awful hair so it looks genuinely dreadful unless I do something with it. I would love to have hair I could just run a comb through & look acceptable.

so I guess what I’m saying is some people can roll out of bed and look ok, whereas I really can’t. So I have to make some effort even to do school run. I don’t dress up or anything as I prefer trainers, leggings or jeans but I do need to do something with hair & put a tiny bit of makeup on or I just look shocking.

littlepeas · 09/10/2022 08:43

Differing levels of effort depending on what I am doing. My job involves wearing gym kit so I more or less wear that every day (although I do have nice cardies and things to make it look a bit nicer) - I put a small amount of make up on if I am leaving the house and will see people when I do (wouldn’t bother for walking the dog though). My hair is always clean, but usually up in a scruffy bun. There is a lower level than this, which is very comfy, baggy clothes for around the house. I get properly, smartly dressed up only for evenings out (which are rare).

Yourhamsterisnonbinary · 09/10/2022 08:52

My role is public-facing, so I dress up and put make up on Monday to Friday. Our dress code is smart casual and it's strict. Today I'm only going to the bottle bank, so I'll give myself a break.

RoseyPalm · 09/10/2022 09:28

I deliberately changed my behaviour as part of a confidence building, self-improvement/motivational program.
Everything became more considered and deliberate.
Consciously stood straighter, walked 'carefully' had advice on make -up from an in-store 'expert' saleswoman. Bought about half of her recommendations!
Made sure that my clothes are the right size.
How do I feel? Was it all worth-while?
YES, absolutely. I stand up and look people in the eye. No more mumbling with head turned half away.

Topgub · 09/10/2022 09:37

I hate the idea that women are required to 'make an effort' or are described as letting themselves go etc

I dress appropriately for the occasion (mostly, have been known to do the school run in pjs) and rarely wear make up.

bluechameleon · 09/10/2022 09:41

I don't wfh so I wear presentable clothes every work day. Weekends I wear jeans and jumpers if just at home, maybe a dress for a day out/visit to relatives. I put on nicer clothes, maybe a bit of jewellery if I'm going out with a friend/DH. I only wear make up for really fancy things like weddings.

Lemonyfuckit · 09/10/2022 09:49

I dress smarter and put make up on when going into the office. If I've got a work dinner or drinks later I make a bit more effort. I got in the habit of wearing jogging bottoms / t-shirt / jumper during lockdown so now I don't know what else to wear instead when working from home and at weekends if not going anywhere - I want something a bit more put together than that but also want to be comfortable. I'll often put a bit of make up on even with such a dress down outfit if need to turn my camera on on teams calls (jumper usually cashmere to be fair so I don't look too bad then from the head and shoulders on camera) but then sometimes at home at the weekend I get more dressed up just as an antidote to have been in jogging bottoms. I feel like I can't remember what I used to wear when not in the office! I'm short and a bit overweight so it's not like I can just look good even in tracky Bs like someone who is tall and slim probably does.

GoldenSpiral · 09/10/2022 09:49

I wear make-up, do my hair and wear what I consider smart casual clothes every day. I dress up for a meal out, weddings and other special occasions. I don't feel comfortable wearing gym clothes or lounge wear type clothes outside. Each to their own!

GoldenSpiral · 09/10/2022 09:50

I mean, I'll wear gym clothes outside for a run or bike ride but not as casual clothing.

Lemonyfuckit · 09/10/2022 09:54

To add, part of my problem with not knowing what to wear is I don't find jeans comfortable. I don't wear jobbing bottoms out of the house particularly (unless literally just nipping to the post office or whatever) - I want to look more put together than that but I've never found jeans particularly comfortable so if I'm popping out at lunchtime but the rest of the day wfh (so for me sitting all day at the computer) I just really don't find jeans comfortable for that. I used to put up with discomfort but since lockdown I want to be comfortable (so I'll wear nice dresses at work but not really structured formal ones).

Whendovescry03 · 09/10/2022 10:23

Mon-Fri for the office and I usually make a fair effort on the weekend if we're going out and about or socialising. To be honest the only time I don't make an effort is if I'm staying home all day.

Penguinsaregreat · 09/10/2022 11:25

We have a dress code for work no jeans/joggers/trainers for example. I tend to wear a dress and heels or smart trousers and a jumper or top. I wear light make up for work so mascara and lipstick.
If I’m at home I wear lounge wear or gym wear. I only get dressed up if I’m going out somewhere nice or meeting a friend for coffee then I would do my hair and wear make up but I don’t go for the extreme look. No lash extensions, lip fillers, fake tan, fake nails.
It depends on the weather as to what I’d wear. Until recently if I was meeting a friend for lunch I would wear a summery dress and either flip flop type sandals or pumps. Now I’m wrapping up more.

Lemonbell · 09/10/2022 11:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

jay55 · 09/10/2022 12:29

Don't wear makeup to work, only when I'm going out out.
Am trying to make more effort on weekends with clothing but doesn't always happen.

RIPQueen · 09/10/2022 13:58

I dress appropriately for the occasion (mostly, have been known to do the school run in pjs) and rarely wear make up

but wearing pjs on the school run isn’t dressing appropriately for the occasion. Pjs are for bed.

it’s not about women - it’s sad that people don’t dress properly anymore. Clothes used to matter more and being presentable was a thing - people took pride in their appearance. One of my brothers would never leave the house without a blazer and he always looks fantastic. I was at the supermarket yesterday and there were 2 men there who had clearly been for a long cycle and stank in their cycling clothes and I just thought come on, don’t do that.