Why are some people always the butt end of jokes in a group ?

[siennalover]

Are any of you always the one that gets laughed at / made fun of the most in a group ?

I don't mean in a particularly malicious way, more like friendly teasing, but mostly aimed at you..

Why do you think that happens ? Sometimes they say the most popular member of the group gets the most stick. But is that so?

I had one particular group of friends and I always ended up this way. I didn't mind. But eventually it did start to get to me.

Anyway, I notice my DH is also in a similar position in his friendship group. He doesn't mind at all though.

I think we almost bring it on ourselves too. By being extra silly sometimes, telling stories of funny situations we've been in. Making fun of ourselves basically.

I was talking to my sis in law and she said she also has this kind of position in her friendship group. It made me think, why do some people have that position ?

Of course everyone makes fun of everyone sometimes, but I can definitely tell that they do it to me and my DH the most. I usually really don't mind and play along. But occasionally it has gone a little far and I've asked myself why it's like this for me. Is it because I am somehow different ?

I'm similar background to the two groups of friends where this was the case for me.
It was partly because I slagged myself and partly because I took it.
I think it's a group dynamics thing, the others in the group are bonding through shared humour at your expense. Which is fine if the butt of the joke rotates and everyone gets a chance to bond.
But people are lazy so the same old jokes get trotted out at the expense of the person who initially didn't mind but gets bored of it/hurt after years of laughing along.
I got sick of it in my thirties and stopped it, I know some people thought I was being "sensitive" but I don't give a fuck.
I think it can be easier for men to take that place in a group because they don't share as much of themselves in friendships so therefore don't start to believe they are what they are being slagged for.

next time they crack one of their stupid jokes at your expense, just look at them directly and say "and your point is?" with a deadpan expression on your face.

it sounds like they think they're Gods gift to human kind and are trying to goad a reaction.

personally I wouldn't waste a minute of time in their tedious company if they kept prodding and goading, it's hardly enjoyable or life-enhancing.

I think there is some weird psychology going on in groups especially long established groups. I dont actually think it's all friendly if they only really do it to you. Do they do it to you one on one? Do you do it to them back? If not, its definitely a group dynamic and not friendly. It's a way of bonding with each other and showing off to the group. Similar to how kids will bully someone in a group but be fine with them one on one.

I also think dynamics can become weirdly entrenched in a group. For example I have school friends who whenever they are together take the piss out of stuff that happened at school 20+ years ago. It's weird and annoying, none of us are that same person any more but it's like we are still stuck in the group roles of our teens.

I have this position in my family. Always the one being teased, and it’s definitely too ‘put me in my place.’ Everyone else very much enjoys teasing me, even when it’s clear I get annoyed or upset. Then I’m told of for not being able to take a joke. My sister once said that the definition of having a good sense of humour is being able to laugh at yourself, which made me feel even more crap.

I thought it was very much a character flaw in myself, but then I realised that I literally never have this problem with friends. That affectionate give and take teasing is completely different from bullying power play teasing.

i think if you are upset by teasing, it’s generally not the gentle affectionate give-and take version.

I once just walked out of the room and say ‘I’m bored by this’ when my family started on the teasing. It’s got a lot better.