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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To phone in sick?

31 replies

sandyveld · 07/10/2022 12:07

I have 2 DC’s, ones just turned 14 and my youngest is 5(6 in a few months), DP is currently working away and I'm due in work today 6pm-11:30pm, usually they go to a family members if I'm working and DP is away but unfortunately family member has covid so I don't want them going over there and catching it.

So if I went into work I’d have to leave eldest with youngest for a few hours and get him ready for bed, then sit with him until he fell asleep (they do share a room though so I think they'd be in there anyway) I would give them dinner before I left but I'm not sure if that'd be irresponsible so I'm looking for other peoples opinions really.

WIBU to phone in sick, or what would others do?

OP posts:

Hymnulop · 07/10/2022 12:10

Hmm you know your kids best but 14 seems very young for that, unless they're a very mature 14 year old and a very well behaved 5 year old. Is there not anyone else you can ask? Or pay a babysitter? I wouldn't phone in sick personally til I'd exhausted all options and even then I'd phone work and be honest about my situation and what I'd done to resolve it, giving them plenty of notice to find cover.

Testina · 07/10/2022 12:11

I used to babysit all evening for young kids when I was 14. So depending on the personalities, as a one-off I’d leave them.

But that would depend on work. If I knew I could pick up and extra shift and there’d be no difficulty covering me - I wouldn’t say I was sick, I’d say I had a childcare issue. A lot depends on your finances and what your workplace is like.

ItsNotReallyChaos · 07/10/2022 12:11

I was babysitting at 14 in other peoples houses.

If your 14 year old is capable then I’d leave them alone but with a list of numbers to call if there’s an issue.

I wouldn’t phone in sick

girlmom21 · 07/10/2022 12:12

You shouldn't phone in sick if you're not sick.

I think you're fine leaving a 14 year old with the 5 year old.

If you got a babysitter they wouldn't be much older than your teen anyway.

Iamthewombat · 07/10/2022 12:13

You are not sick.

melodypondisasuperhero · 07/10/2022 12:19

I wouldn’t see a problem with it, I used to babysit for a family with a 6 year old and two 3 year olds when I was 14, and I sometimes was left to put my sisters (4 and 2) to bed. Teenagers differ a lot though so only you know really if they are up for it.

user1477249785 · 07/10/2022 12:23

My 13 year old is doing that when he babysits. I think it's ok.

YellowTreeHouse · 07/10/2022 12:25

You can’t phone in sick. You’re not sick; it’s not appropriate.

You would need to phone in saying you don’t have suitable childcare due to illness so need time off for family and dependants.

Original poster

sandyveld · 07/10/2022 12:27

There's no other family members close enough, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them with a babysitter I've never met before.

OP posts:

Cw112 · 07/10/2022 12:29

Does your work provide carers leave that would cover this rather than phoning in sick when you aren't?

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 12:55

Seems fine leaving them.

Original poster

sandyveld · 07/10/2022 13:00

I've only ever left them for about an hour before and that was during the day

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 07/10/2022 13:02

sandyveld · 07/10/2022 13:00

I've only ever left them for about an hour before and that was during the day

Have you asked the teenager how they feel about it or have you only found out since they've been at school? I'd check with them. If they're ok with it I'd go for it. Give them tea before you leave and agree on a movie to watch on Netflix. When the movie ends little one goes to bed then big one can do his own thing for an hour and head up to bed too.

quietnightmare · 07/10/2022 13:03

Course it fine. How will you out the 5 year old to bed and sit with them if you have work at 6pm. You can't send your child to bed at 5pm. Can your eldest do it or agree to chill in the bedroom with the 5 year old. Other than that I wouldn't worry if your 14 year old is sensible and just keep your phone on loud with you in work

quietnightmare · 07/10/2022 13:05

Oops read your post wrong I see you meant the eldest would do the bedtime routine. Sorry dyslexia. But yeah it's fine don't worry

AnyRandomName · 07/10/2022 13:07

I'd leave them, unless a massive backstory. You might be surprised, give them responsibility and they might well live up to and exceed your expectations.

I was babysitting into the early hours at 14.

lickenchugget · 07/10/2022 13:08

I was babysitting other people’s children at 14

cultkid · 07/10/2022 13:10

I would call in and say you can't make it for these exact reasons, not that you are sick.

Surely they can't fire you for this? It's a very one off type of thing isn't it.

Ellie1015 · 07/10/2022 13:11

I would leave them. Good for older one to help out occasionally.

Unless younger one likely to misbehave or be very upset or older one not responsible. But for many 14 and 6 year olds this is managable.

cultkid · 07/10/2022 13:13

I know people will slaughter me for this but is the 14 year old a girl or boy?
Girls are more sensitive and sensible at this age. I used to babysit for these times at this age and had been doing so since I was 13, however a boy may not have the maturity yet. If you've never left them more than an hour before I wouldn't leave them alone at night on this occasion it's something you would need to leave someone with experience to do.

I agree with not using a babysitter you don't know. If you don't have any friends who could come over and watch tv and drink wine with a takeout that you pay for whilst you work I would tell work the reason why you can't come in, not just a vague childcare answer.

If you are going to lose your job over this or you need the money to pay bills which I'm guessing you do because it's not a pleasant time to be at work, I would actually say that I had covid.

StillNotWarm · 07/10/2022 13:14

You can't phone in sick. You can phone in with childcare issues.
I'd talk to the 14 year old, and see if they are comfortable with it, and go with their feelings.

Spidey66 · 07/10/2022 13:23

Like others, I was babysitting young cousins at that age, and my aunties were looking after us when they were 14. If the older one is OK with it and mature enough, I'd let it happen.

Otherwise can you take annual leave?

Teadrinkingmumofone · 07/10/2022 13:25

cultkid · 07/10/2022 13:10

I would call in and say you can't make it for these exact reasons, not that you are sick.

Surely they can't fire you for this? It's a very one off type of thing isn't it.

This. No need to say your sick. Say you have a lack of childcare and take it as leave.

Fire Action · 07/10/2022 13:31

I think bring a baby sitter at age 14 for another family, is totally different to looking after your 5 year old sibling. I couldn't have left mine together at that age, they would have been fighting and the youngest would have really played up for the eldest. Depends on your kids I think OP. but if you have only left them for an hour before, I wouldn't. of course you phone in sick if your employer would give you a hard time otherwise. you do what you have to do

Original poster

sandyveld · 07/10/2022 15:03

Eldest is also a boy, I haven't spoken to him about it as he was at his dads last night but I will when he gets home.

OP posts:

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