AIBU?
To be involved with my year 8 exam revision?
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 11:17
Just wondering how much others get involved in their year 7/8/9 child’s revision?
I was a complete swot at school / uni - and study skills is something that I really do appreciate makes a huge difference. Consequently - every evening I am structuring a plan with my DS, re what he will learn that evening and then testing him on it.
His classmate’s mother, who is also my friend! And I were chatting and I mentioned how I would be relieved to get my evenings back post exams and saw looked quizzically at me. Transpires she leaves her year 8 entirely to his own devices, which is obviously completely fair enough! But it did prick my interest. Am i the minority or majority?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
FamilyTreeBuilder · 07/10/2022 16:38
And when you have multiple children all at secondary age? All this testing and learning the curriculum alongside them will continue?
When they are 17 and doing A-levels? Undergrad?
Seriously, back off. I get the interest in learning. So go off and learn something for YOU rather than trying to re-live your school days through your child. 3
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:43
Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 07/10/2022 16:37
I would say this is a very good point.
MerryMarigold · 07/10/2022 16:12
Exactly. So my point is that you are communicating that academic success is more important than pretty much anything else.
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:10
Do you spend time every day teaching him how to relax, cook, clean, interact socially, be kind, create artwork, be truthful etc
every day? Heavens no!
I write this on the sidelines during half time watching him play football!
MissingNashville · 07/10/2022 17:02
I’ve always helped my kids revise in secondary school.
Oldest was always disorganised, didn’t always want to revise but by year 9 he was grateful I’d helped him. He came out with good grades and knew how to make good use of study time and thanked me for helping him. Now he’s doing A levels and is really organised and focused. He still gets me to test him before assessments which I’m happy to do.
Youngest is very organised so needs less help. But I still help her and test her as she wants me to before each terms assessments. Older one helps her at times as well instead of me.
I like to know what they’re learning and want them to reach their potential. I know how they both learn and they both want to do well.
Blanketpolicy · 07/10/2022 17:08
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 15:51
Oddly enough - he rest does care. Competitive school in terms of both sport academics
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 15:48
Honestly, Year 8 is the absolute most doss year ever. Angsty Year 7 is over. GCSEs far away enough to not be bothered about. That's why teaching a Year 8 class is always carnage, they do not give a fuck because there's not much to give a fuck about. And they know we know it!
I forget GCSE are two years long (I am in Scotland where both NAT5s and Highers are usually 1 year each), be careful of him burning out and losing that initial drive, motivation after 2 years and nearer exams, and being totally fed up of it by the time he hits A Levels.
Slow and steady, little and often is enough in the early days, ramping up when exams get closer.
MissingNashville · 07/10/2022 17:11
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 16:11
GCSEs are really important and I wouldn't blame you for lending your child a hand with preparing for them.
Year 8 exams mean diddly squat 😂
Choconut · 07/10/2022 16:08
I helped DS organise his revision for GCSE's. I mean I could have just left him to it but I doubt he'd have got mostly 9's then. I'll do the same for A-levels too. I wish I'd had that support when I was at school.
You learn by someone teaching you, I'm helping him learn how to study for exams - particularly how important it is to know what the examiners are looking for. I'm always amazed how many people think that learning takes place by magic, without anyone actually teaching you or checking you're doing it correctly. A lot of kids will do the minimal, self motivation isn't something you learn either, you either have it or you don't (often down to how interested you are).
But some of the knowledge like in Science and Maths is built on in the later years. If they don’t know the basics, they’re going to have a lot to learn in years 10 and 11. And to be honest, some of the teaching at my kids school doesn’t seem great. My daughter is very studious, takes school seriously, writes down everything the teacher says, but some of her books and knowledge in certain subjects has been lacking. We use cgp books and bbc bite size to fill the gaps at home before assessments.
RelativePitch · 07/10/2022 17:20
@Doingprettywellthanks I'm exactly the same as you. In my case I was very average academically, but went to an amazing school and we were really taught how to revise which meant that I did very well in exams. My DS now in year 8 is also very average academically, but for his end of year exams in year 7 we studied side by side for three weeks and I could show him how to organise revision schedules, make succinct revision notes, memory tricks and above all test him. He did brilliantly in his exams, but I appreciate I'm going to have to take a step back year on year as he will have to find it within himself. I can't follow him to uni or his first job!
Wisenotboring · 07/10/2022 17:55
OP, I'm genuinely confused by some of the responses you are getting! I'm a teacher and I can say for certain that most students have really poor instincts for study skills and revision. These are really important things that need to be scaffolded as they don't generally get absorbed by chance. It sounds like you are helping your child to chunk up revision topics and assign them space in the week to revise them. Along with modelling some revision strategies this sounds like a great way to build up your child's revision skills. I have done the same with my child while the exams are very low stakes so that hopefully by the time the big exams come up they will be far more independent as they are confidently using the skills laid down at a younger age.
Darbs76 · 07/10/2022 18:36
Never helped my kids with revision. DS got top grades - nearing 97% for his A levels so 3 x A*. His school are very good at teaching kids how to structure revision. My son’s best thing he did was creating revision cards himself. He shared them with his classmates too which was lovely.
I don’t see anything wrong with you helping your child, if that’s what you’re both happy with. I would help if asked, but so far 2 kids got great grades without my help. One more to get though GCSE / A levels (currently just started year 10)
Onceuponaheartache · 07/10/2022 18:43
@Doingprettywellthanks you probably.are in the minority and I would maybe try and step back a bit.
As mentioned kids need to learn to manage their own learning. I had parents like you who whilst they meant well destroyed my gcse and a levels because they micromanage every second so I rebelled when I got the freedom of uni. It took me a long time to get into the right mindset.
How does your child feel about your behaviour?
Luckycatt · 07/10/2022 19:34
@LottiesHook I've found one we did at the end of year 8 on microbes. It was revision for end of year assessment and from what I recall the teacher had said "revise" and had provided links to some bitesize stuff. I was trying to teach him to look through all the information, including his science book, and reduce the essential information onto one page.
Will try to upload a photo of it...
MermaidEyes · 07/10/2022 20:26
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 15:48
Honestly, Year 8 is the absolute most doss year ever. Angsty Year 7 is over. GCSEs far away enough to not be bothered about. That's why teaching a Year 8 class is always carnage, they do not give a fuck because there's not much to give a fuck about. And they know we know it!
So true ! Both my kids said this about year 8. It was actually their least favourite year at school.
MermaidEyes · 07/10/2022 20:30
Onceuponaheartache · 07/10/2022 18:43
@Doingprettywellthanks you probably.are in the minority and I would maybe try and step back a bit.
As mentioned kids need to learn to manage their own learning. I had parents like you who whilst they meant well destroyed my gcse and a levels because they micromanage every second so I rebelled when I got the freedom of uni. It took me a long time to get into the right mindset.
How does your child feel about your behaviour?
My dc has a friend with parents just like this, even down to standing over him while doing his A Level coursework (which they didn't even understand!) As a result he is now at a university in a different country!
Marblessolveeverything · 07/10/2022 20:38
I am in education third level. I tend to step back he is in a school which dedicate a lot of time to them figuring out their learning style and trying different revision methods.
I make it clear to him if he wants my input I am happy to help. If I see an interesting pod cast linked to his subjects I send it on.
He is academic and self motivated. He is a bit too focused on exams for my liking. As I keep telling him an exam is a snapshot of a day it doesn't necessarily reflect your work or you as a person.
I spendy days working with a lot of mature students who had either no support or too much support (pressure), so I note my bias!
DontMakeMeShushYou · 10/10/2022 00:08
@Wisenotboring
OP, I'm genuinely confused by some of the responses you are getting! I'm a teacher and I can say for certain that most students have really poor instincts for study skills and revision. These are really important things that need to be scaffolded as they don't generally get absorbed by chance.
My kids' secondary school spent considerable time teaching the kids this stuff. Do other schools not do this?
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.