AIBU?
To be involved with my year 8 exam revision?
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 11:17
Just wondering how much others get involved in their year 7/8/9 child’s revision?
I was a complete swot at school / uni - and study skills is something that I really do appreciate makes a huge difference. Consequently - every evening I am structuring a plan with my DS, re what he will learn that evening and then testing him on it.
His classmate’s mother, who is also my friend! And I were chatting and I mentioned how I would be relieved to get my evenings back post exams and saw looked quizzically at me. Transpires she leaves her year 8 entirely to his own devices, which is obviously completely fair enough! But it did prick my interest. Am i the minority or majority?
Am I being unreasonable?
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crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 15:53
As a teacher I think you are doing him a disservice by micromanaging his home learning. He won't be having vast amounts sent home and should be able to manage it by himself. If he can't then that's a conversation you definitely need to be having with his form tutor.
MerryMarigold · 07/10/2022 15:57
My Y9s I haven't helped so far on their secondary school career. My Y12(also ADHD tendencies), I did help him write a revision plan for his GCSEs. I created revision slots and breaks so he knew when to start and finish. I only did this for his mocks over Christmas and after he went on study leave. He decided what subjects to revise/ what papers but we didn't break it down into topics, just where he felt he needed work.
funtycucker · 07/10/2022 15:58
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 15:53
As a teacher I think you are doing him a disservice by micromanaging his home learning. He won't be having vast amounts sent home and should be able to manage it by himself. If he can't then that's a conversation you definitely need to be having with his form tutor.
Agreed as the current guidelines are generally along the lines of don't set a homework that a pupil can't do unaided so I would continue that through to revision too.
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:01
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 15:56
You say he cares, that's the battle won. Let him fight it himself though.
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 15:54
Interesting the diverging view of teachers on the issue
I have never related to this mumsnet insistence about instilling independence asap and you’re failing them if not.
i was spoilt rotten as a child / teen. Turned up at uni and I couldn’t even do cheese on toast (not kidding) and I never managed money.
Now? Single professional mother with 3 children - who prides herself on being a very decent cook and has an iron grip on her finances!
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 16:04
Spoiling a child rotten has nothing to do with your situation though. Nobody is suggesting you take your child to a crack den and leave them to crack on. You're managing your child's homework for them, when they should be doing it themselves.
You're also projecting your idea of what success looks like onto your child.
FamilyTreeBuilder · 07/10/2022 16:07
Have no idea how old "year 8" is - means nothing to those of us not in England. Around 12 or 13? So at least a couple of years away from GCSE exams?
So what exams is this child revising for? Also, it is your child who will be sitting the exams, not you. The child needs to develop their own strategy for revision and learning, and school will support them on this. You learning the curriculum along with him, testing him on it and revising EVERY NIGHT is absolutely bonkers.
Helicopter parent alert!
MerryMarigold · 07/10/2022 16:08
For me, a small part is independence but it's also not putting too much emphasis on academics at the expense of other things. Eg. Do you spend time every day teaching him how to relax, cook, clean, interact socially, be kind, create artwork, be truthful etc. I think it sends the wrong message to children that academic excellence is what you value most in them and their character/ talents etc. This can be extremely damaging long term.
Choconut · 07/10/2022 16:08
I helped DS organise his revision for GCSE's. I mean I could have just left him to it but I doubt he'd have got mostly 9's then. I'll do the same for A-levels too. I wish I'd had that support when I was at school.
You learn by someone teaching you, I'm helping him learn how to study for exams - particularly how important it is to know what the examiners are looking for. I'm always amazed how many people think that learning takes place by magic, without anyone actually teaching you or checking you're doing it correctly. A lot of kids will do the minimal, self motivation isn't something you learn either, you either have it or you don't (often down to how interested you are).
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:09
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 16:04
Spoiling a child rotten has nothing to do with your situation though. Nobody is suggesting you take your child to a crack den and leave them to crack on. You're managing your child's homework for them, when they should be doing it themselves.
You're also projecting your idea of what success looks like onto your child.
No but if you see the examples - cooking and money. Both trigger issues for many a mumsnetter to start crying out for independence asap!
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 16:11
Choconut · 07/10/2022 16:08
I helped DS organise his revision for GCSE's. I mean I could have just left him to it but I doubt he'd have got mostly 9's then. I'll do the same for A-levels too. I wish I'd had that support when I was at school.
You learn by someone teaching you, I'm helping him learn how to study for exams - particularly how important it is to know what the examiners are looking for. I'm always amazed how many people think that learning takes place by magic, without anyone actually teaching you or checking you're doing it correctly. A lot of kids will do the minimal, self motivation isn't something you learn either, you either have it or you don't (often down to how interested you are).
GCSEs are really important and I wouldn't blame you for lending your child a hand with preparing for them.
Year 8 exams mean diddly squat 😂
MerryMarigold · 07/10/2022 16:12
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:10
Do you spend time every day teaching him how to relax, cook, clean, interact socially, be kind, create artwork, be truthful etc
every day? Heavens no!
Exactly. So my point is that you are communicating that academic success is more important than pretty much anything else.
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:13
MerryMarigold · 07/10/2022 16:12
Exactly. So my point is that you are communicating that academic success is more important than pretty much anything else.
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:10
Do you spend time every day teaching him how to relax, cook, clean, interact socially, be kind, create artwork, be truthful etc
every day? Heavens no!
Do you spend every day creating artwork with you year 8 DS? 😂
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:21
crumpetswithjam · 07/10/2022 16:19
Is this one of those AIBU threads where you don't actually want any advice, OP? I'm getting that distinct impression. I think YABU btw.
Where did I ask for advice?
But it did prick my interest. Am i the minority or majority?
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:31
SingingSands · 07/10/2022 16:27
I don't help my kids because I have absolutely no idea where to start. I fear I'd absolutely mess it all up for them. Maybe you could help me OP?!
Bloody hell I don’t actually do the work.
So much of it is…. Whoosh over my head, especially science and maths!
But we go through the syllabus very carefully to tailor revision to what will be covered, then break down the subjects and then sections to make revision more focused. When he’s finished a section, I test him and then he gets satisfaction of ticking it off. Simple as that.
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:34
noblegiraffe · 07/10/2022 16:33
As a teacher who has just been a Y8 parent, I think some teachers on here are seriously overestimating the quality of revision homeworks some other teachers set.
we go over the syllabus.
any gaps… bbc bitesize comes in handy
Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 07/10/2022 16:37
MerryMarigold · 07/10/2022 16:12
Exactly. So my point is that you are communicating that academic success is more important than pretty much anything else.
Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:10
Do you spend time every day teaching him how to relax, cook, clean, interact socially, be kind, create artwork, be truthful etc
every day? Heavens no!
I would say this is a very good point.
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