We live in an exceptionally white small town. I'm half N. African (never even been there on holiday) anywhere else in the UK, I"d probably be considered white. But in my town, I'm an ethnic minority. My two sons look middle eastern but they are essentially white, with dark features. My daughter looks Spanish, mid brown hair, even she is constantly asked where she's from.
When my sons walk through the town they hear racist remarks at times. But at school my youngest (13) has been teased about his "race" a lot and I know it really upsets him. Recently, he started pestering me for expensive aftershave and deoderents, then he wanted a new school bag (to replace his new Nike bag). Eventually his older sister told me it's because his friends - and these kids are his friends, have been teasing him that he "smells of curry". I think for these boys it's a bit of banter, but for my son it was constant and they really did it so much that he believed them. (He lives on pizza btw). When he called them out for racism, they assured him it wasn't, but it was genuinely bc he really does smell of curry. He's actually popular and a bit of joker, so these kids really don't think they're doing anything that wrong. - which sort of makes it even worse.
He never talked to me about it, just to his older sister; so I agreed he could have a new school bag (£40) for some other vauge reason, to put this to rest in his head. I wrote to school about it (I'd already written about other racist problems he's had earlier that year; they phoned me that time and were great listeners - but didn't actually do anything). I reiterated in this email, that there is an endemic problem of racism in the town which is supported and condoned in some homes. And that I was concerned that when these kids get out into the wider world, they are going to get themselves in really big trouble if they arent taught how unacceptable this behaviour is. And more education needed to be put in place. Further, being singled out by reporting anything, is the last thing in the world my son wants, so could they deal with this more globally as he wont want to report it. I also mentioned that I had to email the school to write, because the Diversity and Inclusion Lead was ommited from the school's Leadership webpage (couldn't make it up, could you?).
The school wrote back explaining that they have a racism tab in the kids' email/web stuff, unless my son reports it, it doesn't exist. They went on to tell me how much they do about racism in the school and it's all covered and they have invested in a football prog and are celebrating Black Lives Matters Day and Rosa Parks Day.
So that's it, despite it being an obvious on-going problem, for my son and dangerous behaviour for the "white kids", it's all covered.
As an example of what goes on, older kid (17), actually said to my daughter when he had to come to our house to do a project together "Oh your family are towel-heads aren't they?" (we live in a £700,000 house, don't have any cultural dress other than middle-england). She advised him to keep the racism to himself around me - which wisely, he did. Eventually she reported him when he sent her a racist cartoon - he's at another school. The school he attends, had a mixed race head girl, who highlighted the problems she'd experienced and they put a whole education package togther. I suggested our school could look at what they did to redress the balance. But they are observing "Black Lives Matters day", so they've got it covered.
So, AIBU to think the school should have actioned a response to either of my two letters about the racist culture, which is still endemic in the school? Or am i being a pain in the arse? I don't know how to get them to do more, when they apathetically tell me they're doing loads. My son's form teacher was clearly upset at what was going on and I think. he also expected the school to respond with action, but then, he probably hasn't grown up in the town.
I appreciate money is tight for schools, but I see these kids losing jobs or being kicked out of Uni's if they aren't better educated.
Appreciate practical advice on if, or how, to take it further,
xxx