Do women walk alone at night

[aDayattheLido]

Do you?
Do women you know?

DNiece is at university. She came to visit me the other weekend. Her train back to uni was going to arrive after dark. I gave her some money for a taxi from the station to her halls. She said "oh I'll just walk" (but still took the £20 🙂). She says she walks back from the library and her part time job.

Is this normal or do women walk in pairs/packs or get a taxi?

(btw This was discussed on another thread but before anyone cries "TAAT" I'm just interested in chatting about it further)

I used to. But in the last thirty years or so, the small quiet town I lived in has increased dramatically in size and sex attacks on women have become frighteningly common, going from maybe an incident every few years to something each month. If I have to now, I’m very careful where I go and I carry nail scissors in my pocket (my keys are on a huge bunch and would hurt me more than anyone else).

‘You sound both lucky and incredibly naive. But shame on you for accusing women of abnormality anxiety because they have experience and/or knowledge of the very real risk of sexual assualt.’

no I know has been grabbed off the street and assaulted. But assaulted by a family member? Boyfriend? Friend? Friend of a friend? Guy they were drinking with in a bar?
YES, unfortunately but not walking home, or running early in the morning.

I think you've misunderstood my point. I'm not doing all those things. But there's a whole thread, and all the ones which have gone previously, the many varying degrees and tactics that women use to mitigate the danger when out alone and how much energy and stress that must account for among women on aggregate.

Obviously when you see other women walk around on a night, you don't see all of that. You just see them walking, you don't know how many are walking around fearlessly or how many are crossing the road because someone was walking too close, or walking the long way around a pub with men loitering at the doorway or who is clutching their keys, or getting- or not getting - a taxi based on their assessment of threat. There's no way to calculate that mental load and what it takes en masse.

It's not lucky not to have been assaulted walking at night, it's pretty unusual to have had that happen to you.

On the other hand 1 in 4 women will suffer domestic abuse in their lifetime and 2 women every week in the UK are murdered by a partner.

Only 10% of rapes are committed by a stranger.

I honestly think we worry about the wrong things.

Always have, since around mid 90s when I was a teen. In London and other big cities, including abroad.

I'm alert and aware, wouldn't go down a dark alley, give parked and passing cars a wide berth, wouldn't engage in conversation with a stranger etc.

I've also taken taxis on my own many times. I feel safer walking though, to be honest. I feel more vulnerable locked in a moving vehicle with a complete stranger. Although less so these days, because modern phones mean I can always let a friend know where I am.

I don't think women should stop themselves carrying out normal activities such as walking along a street, just because the sun has set and because a very small minority of men will seek to attack.

But those things do happen, whether they have happened to people you know or not. Women ARE grabbed off the street. They are raped and murdered while walking home, while jogging, while going to work. IT HAPPENS.

I didn't say you are doing all those things. I said they are not common thing to do outside of MN because MN has disproportionate levels of anxiety and other issues compared to general population, hence it is skewed and these extremes do not really reflect a common reality outside of MN.

I used to at that age - to save money on taxis. Looking back now, I think I put myself in some precarious situations.

If your niece doesn't have self-defence skills, could you do the research for her, and find a self-defence course, see if her uni does anything. I find if you just make the suggestion, they never get round to looking it up.

OH doesn't think twice about walking anywhere. One of my best friends will walk most busy streets but not go into parks at night or quiet backstreets.

I'd probably get the taxi as I'm lazy and unlike others I've never really worried about them being unsafe, with a station taxi rank it's easier to see they're registered than outside a club, as there were cases of women being attacked in cars posing as taxis when I was younger. For me it depends on the area along route and time of night rather than it being dark as I'd feel less safe when there's fewer people about. Actually the only time I've had an issue while out walking was in the afternoon & although I didn't feel particularly threatened by flasher at the time, after it left me feeling very unsafe for sometime because that something so unlikely did happen so I couldn't reassure myself.

It makes me sad that have to consider these things although expect perpetrators to be male, I've also been threatened by some teen girls & an acquaintance was attacked by some random woman in a supermarket carpark.

yes, I would have no problem where I live

Car accidents also happen!

The pp is right that it's 10% of rapes by strangers. 90% by people known to victims. You are way more at risk at family reunion than on a street

Yes, all the time, and I always have, mostly in rural areas now, but previously in major cities too. It's far too restricting not to. Sometimes I have a dog with me, sometimes I'm on a horse, sometimes I'm alone, but I don't really worry about it either way.

Same here. Now though, I do worry for younger women. Illogical, I know, as you can be attacked at any age.

But it is exteme level anxiety... walking around with a hammer in a pram with the expectation of using it as a weapon is a CRIME, you can litrally be arrested for it same as keeping a bat by your bed or door.

Like with guns in America you are FAR more likely to injure an innocent person than an attacker.

If you have anxiety treat it, it doesnt give you the right to act irrationally in a way that could endanger others.

But how would we even go about understanding which of us might be correct. We don't have access to the internal monologues of women and the strategies they adopt to mitigate fear while walking alone.

It could well be that women who post on MN are more fearful or that they are more likely to verbalise that fear with the benefit of anonymity.

I think I've said this before here but I was of the opinion I was fearless while walking around. One heart beat measuring fitbit later registering huge peaks while walking that made no sense showed me that they corresponded with times when some guy was walking too close or walking down a lampless, empty street or getting eyeballed. I wasn't fearless - I just hadn't thought about it, the fear was background noise but the spikes in adrenaline were there regardless.

Yes, car accidents also happen, but we wear seatbelts and don't drink and drive carefully, and do everything possible to not get into car accidents.

Statistitcally we are at most risk at home, yes, but on an individual basis the risk assessment is different. YOU might be more at risk at home, I am more at risk in a taxi or on the street.

And anyway, the fact that something is less likely than another thing, does not mean the first thing isn't going to happen.

You really don't understand any of this. You're being offensive.

I don't no but back when I was a student I was -naive- fearless.

I walked a mile or so back from the station last night at midnight, I do that whenever I go out. It's all main roads, through the town centre, lots of people about even at that time. I also walk back from book club every month at the same kind of time, that is quieter streets but only a ten minute walk at the most.

There are places I wouldn't go, alleys, the pedestrianized part of town centre which is very quiet, in London I wouldn't go down very quiet dark streets - for example my phone was directing me a certain way to the London station last night but I didn't go that way because it looked empty - but in general, I am happy to walk.

Yes and always have, but I live in a really busy part of London, definitely wouldn't feel so safe walking along a country road at night.

if you think walking around with weapons is common you either live in a really rough crime ridden area or your the idiot... its not common in most places.

Same here.

Depends on where and what time of night.

up to about 10pm, somewhere well lit that Im familiar with and isn’t too far would be ok.

4am down a dark path I don’t know, definitely not.

I probably do have higher than average levels of anxiety about this as I had a couple of incidents of being followed when I was younger that really freaked me out.

We don't have access to the internal monologues of women and the strategies they adopt to mitigate fear while walking alone.

I don't know how you but I talk to people including women irl...

You are also jumping from one extreme to another with hammers in prams and then "i also thought I was fearless". Most people are just cautious and use bit of common sense, not fearless or scared shitless.