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To feel shit at their comments

54 replies

Rosebel · 05/10/2022 21:37

At work today and two of my colleagues were talking about their children. Basically about how one of them uses no childcare (works school hours and no holidays). Other only works 3 days but has family who help out so she uses limited childcare.
Lots of comments about how they could never use full-time childcare and about how they don't understand women who take less than a year maternity leave.
I work compressed hours (49 hours over 4 days) so my son is in childcare from 8 until 6 4 days a week and I had to go back to work when he was 7 months old. They both know this because we all work in the childcare setting that my son attends.
I actually do enjoy my job but now feel like the worst mum in the world., like I'm doing the worst thing for my son.
And I feel really judged. Do you think I'm unreasonable to have been in tears over their comments (not at work. I heid it together until I got home).? Am I being oversensitive?

OP posts:

RagingWoke · 06/10/2022 21:21

Walesscales · 06/10/2022 18:32

Tbh I don't understand why people have kids if they can't actually raise them and look after them? Why have children if they're going to just spend most of their time at nursery being looked after by other people?

What a vile person you are.
Using childcare doesn't equate to not looking after your child. I'd argue working to provide a good life for your children is somewhat more admirable than letting them see a mother pandering to misogynistic stereotypes or living in poverty because mummy couldn't possibly have a job.


Calandor · 06/10/2022 21:52

They wouldn't have a job without those parents putting their kids in the childcare so not sure why they're judging


Rosebel · 06/10/2022 22:27

Fixyourself · 06/10/2022 21:06

You feel judged because of your own guilt. 8-6 is a very long day for a small child, you must know that.

Yes of course I know that. What's the alternative? Don't bother to feed him or put a roof over his head?
I do feel guilty but I felt guilty for a brief period when I wasn't working with my eldest so guilt no matter what.
Thanks for all the replies and I know that I'm doing the right thing but it's hard not to take the bitchy comments to heart. I'm sure it'll probably happen again at some point and know I'll just have to grow a thicker skin.

OP posts:

Blocked · 06/10/2022 23:05

Fixyourself · 06/10/2022 21:06

You feel judged because of your own guilt. 8-6 is a very long day for a small child, you must know that.

They're not out working in the fields or cleaning chimneys. They're being cared for all day, entertained, regular naps, good food, lots of company. They're fine.

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