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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think renting as single mum is horrific

329 replies

Blueysmum12 · 05/10/2022 11:57

My bff is a single mum to two young boys. She works in a nursery and gets universal credits. She has a small dog who she got when she split with her husband and is her baby.

she’s lived in the same house for 6 years, rent paid every month on time etc.

the owner is selling their house and obviously she has to move. Between us we have rang 40 properties in this town and surrounding villages. Not one will accept her because she’s either on in universal credits and she has a dog.

the council rang today and said they suggest she takes anything and rehomes her dog because they will put her in a bnb for around 8 months.

I would have her dog, but I have a cat and a dog and 3 kids already, my husband isn’t keen.

I feel so bad for her. She’s lost weight, she looks an anxious mess.

:(

OP posts:
Dave20 · 05/10/2022 13:18

I don’t see why a dog should be a bar to renting. People are the main potential problems, a human can do more damage than a dog .
Carpets can be cleaned, walls can be painted.
Most responsible dog owners will look after their property.
Sometimes offering a bigger deposit can swing it.

MrsClarkandPercy · 05/10/2022 13:19

Yes, it is completely horrific and totally unviable.

No wonder women end up staying in abusive domestic relationships. At least their kids and them have a home.

2bazookas · 05/10/2022 13:20

Your friend has to put the children first.

That means she has to give up the dog. From the dog's POV, the best option for him is to be rehomed to someone who really wants a dog. Which excludes your home, sorry.

I recommend she hands him over to a reputable rehoming charity.

properdoughnut · 05/10/2022 13:20

Dave20 · 05/10/2022 13:18

I don’t see why a dog should be a bar to renting. People are the main potential problems, a human can do more damage than a dog .
Carpets can be cleaned, walls can be painted.
Most responsible dog owners will look after their property.
Sometimes offering a bigger deposit can swing it.

Dogs can leave a smell that is very tricky to remove.

MrsClarkandPercy · 05/10/2022 13:21

Dave20 · 05/10/2022 13:18

I don’t see why a dog should be a bar to renting. People are the main potential problems, a human can do more damage than a dog .
Carpets can be cleaned, walls can be painted.
Most responsible dog owners will look after their property.
Sometimes offering a bigger deposit can swing it.

But when they have equally good rental candidates without dogs, they go for those. Nobody can be certain how another person looks after their dog, etc.

It isn't fair, but it's how it is. Like the whole rental scenario all together. And the cost of houses. And how hard it is to get a mortgage on a single income. Etc. :(

CheezePleeze · 05/10/2022 13:22

Dogs can leave a smell that is very tricky to remove.

You should meet my kids 😂😂😂

Sparkle900429 · 05/10/2022 13:22

It’s renting in general that’s the problem.

I pay a lot of money for a one bedroom that is poorly maintained, I saw another one bedroom a few months ago advertised for £1000! It was gone in a day! I live in a small town not near to London.

There are so many applicants and rent is going up and up,
I have sympathy about the dog, I have a cat myself and have it written into my contract when I leave any damage will be paid for and carpets professionally cleaned, she hasn’t damaged anything.

Sometimes children damage property, sometimes pets and sometimes the tenants themselves.

Renting is crazy and I only see it getting worse, I need to move but I don’t actually see how!
I was told by one letting agent that you need to earn 3X the rent, as a single person (with or without benefits) that’s a requirement I can’t meet and even as a couple that might not be achievable.

Lachimolala · 05/10/2022 13:23

I should imagine the issue with being a single mum/dad is that usually most landlords are prejudiced against single parents. They say they aren’t but they are, the majority of landlords will go for a working professional over a single parent (even if they too are working) it’s ridiculous but it definitely happens often.

Proteinpudding · 05/10/2022 13:23

I don't know if it's changed, but some BTL mortgage providers wouldn't allow the property to be rented to someone on benefits, to reduce the likelihood of defaulting on the loan. Friend of mine became an 'accidental' landlord - moved in with a new partner and wanted to keep her house for a year to be sure - she wasnt reliant on the rent and would have been happy to let it to someone on UC for a reasonable rent and wasn't able to.

Apologies if this has been mentioned elsewhere but some charities will foster pets for people in temporary accommodation.

MeridianB · 05/10/2022 13:24

This is so bloody sad. Any chance that her landlord knows other local landlords looking for good tenants?

Fuwari · 05/10/2022 13:24

If the dog is going to have to go "somewhere" anyway, then she may as well go down the council route. She could find another private rental, and the owner then decides in a year to sell up and she's back to square one. If she has 2 young children, she will be housed and being in a B&B will put her very near the top of the list.

I can't stress strongly enough that this is the best choice for long term security. A relative of mine ended up homeless because she carried on with the private rentals (she also had 2 young DC), but then the kids grew up and moved out. She's been essentially priced out of everything. She finally found a tiny studio and has to work 2 jobs to pay for it, just to keep her head above water and she's approaching her 50's. It's a really hard life.

Look into fostering for the dog.

RiderOfTheBlue · 05/10/2022 13:25

YukoandHiro · 05/10/2022 12:58

The housing crisis is hitting all single women hardest, including single mums. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. The council are right - they will eventually find her a social tenancy but she'll end up doing nearly a year in emergency accommodation first and if it's possible to avoid that it would be better for the mental health of her and her children. It's sad about the dog but it's the best course of action

In what way is it hitting single women hardest? Is it any harder for single women than, say, single men?

DappledYork · 05/10/2022 13:25

This is why I don't understand the hate towards small private landlords on Mumsnet.
The government has made it more difficult to be a private landlord-some things needed to be done and others didn't- and this shortage is the result of people thinking the game isn't worth the candle.

There really is no point saying there should be more social housing. There should but there won't/

freyamay74 · 05/10/2022 13:28

Oh dear another completely disingenuous OP.

Your 'friend' isn't in a horrific situation because she's a single parent, it's because renting for anyone is pretty dire these days and particularly if you're claiming benefits.

However much she loves her dog, she ought to prioritise her children and securing the best possible home for them. The dog can be re homed to somewhere it will be well looked after. Ok it's not what any pet owner would choose to do but it's crazy to get a dog and then complain it makes it harder to rent. It's pretty obvious that landlord are going to favour a tenant without pets.

Finally the posters who are saying 'lie about having a dog' are churning out the usual crap advice seen on any threads about tenancies. It would be in breach of contract to lie and would put the tenant in an even more precarious position

fallinover · 05/10/2022 13:28

Sometimes offering a bigger deposit can swing it.

It is now illegal for a landlord to accept a larger deposit.

Ylvamoon · 05/10/2022 13:29

The housing crisis is hitting all single women hardest, including single mums

I disagree. I think it is hitting single people (women & men) without dependents the hardest.

If you have dependents, the council has to house you... without, you are pretty much on your own.
Then add a low paying job to the mix and you are fucked.
I know a few people in their 50's that are actually honless. The only reason they fall under the radar is because they tend to stay in spare rooms with friends and family often moving around.. then they end up on the streets because the room is needed otherwise.
These the hidden people, they don't make for sob stories on the news, don't get adequate help from the state because they choose to work in low wage jobs... failed to buy a house... and so on.

OfficiallyBroken · 05/10/2022 13:29

I agree this isn't a specific problem for single parents because there are single dad's too but for any family renting privately.

Properties to let are scarce, and that's not even affordable ones.

Landlords can afford to cherry pick, despite being a couple well above the minimum earning threshold for the properties we were interested in we only got onto the short list to view 9 properties last year when we were in the same position. Between us we called at least 50. 8 of the rejections were because the landlord preferred child-free renters for 3 bed properties.

I'm convinced the only reason we managed to secure our current place is because it's old fashioned. Fair play to the landlord, it's beautifully maintained, but everything here is old and could easily be the backdrop to a 70s TV show. It ticked the important boxes for us so we snapped it up behind the back of someone who was "thinking it over".

Your friend is making herself an even less attractive prospect as a tenant by having a dog. I know that's not fair, but that's the current state of things. She really does need to consider rehoming the dog so that her children can have a roof over their heads. Being a pet owner is a privilege that she cannot afford to have.

Notlosinganyweight · 05/10/2022 13:29

I would say be economical with the truth. No ideal, but it's the only way she will get somewhere. Once she is paying rent every month and the house is looking OK the landlord is unlikely to turf her out probably. She just has to ensure she can afford it and the dog doesn't upset the neighbours.

I don't think landlords can discriminate now, but still will if you tell them. Harder for them to kick her out on the basis she has a dog after she has moved in.

It's shit people have to lie, but in a crisis needs must.

OrlandointheWilderness · 05/10/2022 13:30

It's awful. I have two dogs and I'm a student too. It took me a year to find somewhere.

QuietQuietBang · 05/10/2022 13:30

Dave20 · 05/10/2022 13:18

I don’t see why a dog should be a bar to renting. People are the main potential problems, a human can do more damage than a dog .
Carpets can be cleaned, walls can be painted.
Most responsible dog owners will look after their property.
Sometimes offering a bigger deposit can swing it.

Landlords are not allowed to accept a larger deposit.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/10/2022 13:30

It sounds awful. I’d speak to council and see what exactly she would get. If it’s short term then would get a social tenancy she may well be best biting bullet now as she will only be in same situation again. Dog’s trust will take dog.
I know she’s a single parent but is the dad on scene. If she’s in a b & b and he’s seeing them eow at minute could he take them more temporarily even if he doesn’t want 50/50 long term.

QuietQuietBang · 05/10/2022 13:32

Lachimolala · 05/10/2022 13:23

I should imagine the issue with being a single mum/dad is that usually most landlords are prejudiced against single parents. They say they aren’t but they are, the majority of landlords will go for a working professional over a single parent (even if they too are working) it’s ridiculous but it definitely happens often.

You are as though a working professional can’t be a single parent, but they of course can be.

freyamay74 · 05/10/2022 13:33

Oh and OP a you're talking rubbish saying a LL's mortgage contract has a clause saying they can't rent to single parents. That's a blatant lie.

MortagageHell · 05/10/2022 13:34

Can she just not mention the dog?

she could sneak it in after she’s moved in?

Luana1 · 05/10/2022 13:35

If her dog is stopping her and her children being suitable for properties, sadly the children must take priority and the dog has to be rehomed. The universal credit thing is awful though, as is the landlady who put 'no single parents' as a clause.