To wonder how you cover school holidays with no family?

[LivingMyBestLie]

There are around 14 weeks of school holidays per year and I have three children (two primary school age, one 1yr old).

AIBU to think it's impossible to cover school holidays with no family childcare?!

For reference my partner gets 30 days annual leave a year, I get 15 (pro rata). I work 3 days per week.

Please tell me how you do it!?

Dh worked nights and I worked days.

Ideally one parent looks after the children, but if that’s not possible then find other families in the same situation whose kids work well with your own and take care of each other’s kids on a rota. Free and keeps them socialised.

Holiday clubs for the school aged children, nursery for the youngest child. 3rd child after twins and the difficulties you’ve described seems a lot if you don’t have help - unless your DP will be doing a lot of the childcare/drop offs and it won’t fall to you. Could you employ a nanny while you are establishing your career?

Agree with PP there are 2 of you and childcare costs are presumably from your household income as a whole, not one wage. Same with annual leave, you have presumably will have 2 lots of you’re both working

I used to child care swap with friends and hubby would work from home especially useful if a child was off sick. If neither of you can do that then you need to ask if you can do extra days during one week and fewer another, many bosses can be accommodating. Also talk to mothers who have a similar issues so that you look after their children during your 2 days not at work and they have yours. My kids loved that! There are also nurseries that can take primary school children which go full time during holidays. Look for day camps too, ask your local authority. Also ask other mums what they do.

I have four children and have always worked full time or 4 days a week. Grandparents were elderly and lived far away.

we have managed by

Taking some leave - unfortunately it meant were were not both around at the same time.
Pay for childcare, school play schemes and others.
Double up with another parent - more tricky if you have lots of children.

When sick I always paid for emergency childcare unless children in hospital.

Yanbu plus kids need a break in the holidays. I went self-employed, took August off on the years I could. But needs two-parent family. Childcare isn’t great standard either and what if you kid doesn’t like football or crowded spaces eg sensory needs!

On 30k holiday childcare is worth it - I pay 1-2k to cover childcare with one, but even if you triple it you are still earning more than being SAHM

You will be much better off financially taking the full time job and paying for holiday clubs. If you have 15 days leave, your husband has 30 and you only need childcare for 3 days of each week.
It is expensive in summer but you will be better off the rest of the year.
But don't forget the long term financial aspects. With a full time job you'll probably be earning a better pension?
It's a juggle for sure!
Keep eye out for council run clubs that are cheaper for when the children are older.
Also you need to look at cost of childcare as a percentage out of both of your salaries, not just out of your salary. The children are 50% responsibility of your husband too. Don't base it all on your career.

I paid. Now they're older I work from home and only take annual leave in the school holidays.

Train to be a teacher or work in a school- most holidays match up
yes - working in education is ‘low pay’ compared to other corporate jobs- that’s how I did it.

In the summer hols, I took 1 week, my husband took 1 week and we both took a week together to take the kids on holiday. The other 3 weeks we used a mix of friends helping each other out, a local childminder and/or holiday clubs. We both took a week each at Easter and luckily we were both off over Xmas anyway. For the half terms, I sometimes took some unpaid leave. It was hard and it took alot of planning. My 2 are older now so I don't really need childcare but I still feel guilty working when they are at home.

I can see upthread that you've reached a conclusion that you can manage with a combination of annual leave from you both and some paid holiday club days.

To add to that I would say as a back up both you and H are entitled to parental leave (by law) which has to be taken in week long blocks and will usually be unpaid by your employer. One of my friends did this each summer holiday because one of her kids absolutely hated holiday clubs.

Once the youngest is 8 or so (and if you WFH) you can probably manage without holiday club on the odd day or two because by that age they can be trusted not to barge into the study/interrupt calls etc. This is what we have to do on random inset days when there is no holiday club and we can't take annual leave. It's definitely not a long term plan because it results in a LOT of screen time they get very bored and prickly after a couple of days of that!

We have it down to a fine art! I get 31 days plus bank holidays, my husband gets 24 plus the bank holidays. We manage to be off between us for all of them bar 3 weeks in the summer where we use holiday clubs. We have no family or friends that help with childcare. Our kids are 9 and 6 and this has worked well for us.

We’d planned to use the subsidised holiday club run by my work on the days I was working. It was on site so not quite so many hours to pay for as it didn’t need to cover commuting too. Then Covid happened just as DD would be starting school and work stopped offering this!

it suddenly became a bit of a nightmare - finding clubs that were running, that provided the hours needed. There was one grim holiday when I had to use a club that was the opposite direction to work and take an hour’s leave every day to cover the time
they weren’t open.

Tax free childcare helped save some money but it was usually £25-35 per day for one child, sometimes with meals included, sometimes not.

We ended up relocating to be closer to friends so we had some support
and DH became a SAHD.

I’ll be reading through this thread for ideas as we’re going to be in the same boat! So many weeks to cover and not enough annual leave lol.

I’m currently thinking just save up and throw money at it but doesn’t seem very sustainable!

I'm a single parent and my only help is my parents who also work so in the end I got a term time job. Means I never have any child free time but the relief of not having to worry about child care is worth it.

Oh yes and I’ll take parental leave. I doubt DH would get that even though it’s law. Yes, I know.

This is what we do

Don't forget you also need to keep back some leave to cover the days when kids are ill and can't be in school/childcare. We've been very lucky and DD has barely had any time off leaving us with some leave in hand - I can carry over a week's leave so usually do that as it gives a 'cushion' for this for the following year.

You can also take unpaid leave for childcare reasons but obviously not many can afford to do that! And it's a bit limiting as has to be taken in weekly chunks.

You have to sacrifice time together as a family

So for the 6 weeks holiday if your husband takes 9 days leave (2 a week 3 weeks 1 for the other three), you take 3 days - you never take an annual leave day on the same day

Do you have any friends in the same situation? So one day 1 of you has all the kids from both families, another day the other one has all the kids from both families

You mention no family childcare is that purely because they aren't nearby? As could the children go for a weeks holiday with their grandparents? (if they can see if you can work 5 days that week and take those two days when they are home)

Otherwise it is paying for clubs etc

FT single parent to one here. SE London. Ex is v involved in DD’s life, but will only use a few holiday days for her as he likes to go on long holidays by himself / with latest gf. So he mostly takes her for a few long weekends, I pay for childcare the rest of the time, 8am-6pm. The summer holidays cost more than £1,200. It’s just how it is! Luckily that’s factored into my budget. Hard to find decent holiday camps for less here. It’s usually one week cheap (£125) most weeks mid range (£250) and one week somewhere expensive but exciting. Does mean I can’t afford to go on holiday myself, but DD gets several weekends away with my ex, and two trips a year to go and stay with his parents (usually for 4-5 days). My leave is used at Christmas, for the odd day out during other holidays, and when she’s ill.

We use our holidays, split some of the time, use holiday clubs and swap with friends. I’ll have their kids on a day they’ll have ours… we can WFH so sometimes do flex hours or take half days.
mid yiu only work 3 days a week you don’t actually have 14 whole weeks to cover anyway.

If you can do it, I recommend:
5 days as a holiday with grandparents or relatives - if they live a long way away, consider hiring a reasonable self catering place for this that is a bit closer to you, then visit if needed, spend weekend together as thanks. Yes, it can be expensive, but you can split it, and it can still work out cheaper than a whole summer of holiday club. Costs - up to 1 week of holiday home.
1 week of annual leave for each parent (may overlap with family holiday if this is a possibility). Don't underestimate the Summer bank holiday in this plan which is one day less in many contracts. Costs - days of leave.
1 week of working flexibly.

2 weeks of holiday club bookings, though ideally not back to back. If these are predominantly sport based, then 2 weeks can lead to less sporty children getting really tired and hot, then sad about going. The most convenient and cheap one where I am was like this and DD dreaded it the next year, it was horrible until she found one that she did like (outdoor and foresty), though this finishes at 3. Costs - about £30-£35 a day where I am.
Be prepared to have your plan for each week that will work for you, and as part of it book relatively early for holiday clubs as they get full, fast.