Page 10 | To wonder how you cover school holidays with no family?

Original poster

LivingMyBestLie · 05/10/2022 12:27

Lancrelady80 · 05/10/2022 08:11

Haven't read full thread.

Lots of people on p1 saying holiday clubs, but that depends. Nearest holiday clubs to us are 50mins away in the opposite direction to work.

No schools locally run them.

A couple of leisure centres closer do rum "Activity Days" but as these start at 10am and end at 4pm they aren't much use for childcare for most working parents.

Term time job here, as only way to do it without having obliging and spritely grandparents on hand.

Thank you. Luckily my partner's job is mainly WFH and flexible so 10-4, 9-3 would probably be absolutely fine.

Do you worry that your TTO job is career limiting? Do you personally feel it's worth the low pay (I'm assuming!) to do away with the stressful holidays?

OP posts:

Brefugee · 05/10/2022 12:34

with money and reciprocal favours with other parents.
This can not have come as a surprise to you, OP?

Anothermother3 · 05/10/2022 12:40

I’m 3 .5 over days. DH always takes my long day as it’s more leave hours and my work was super flexible. I only worked that day for several weeks in the holidays. I only have one more before all 3 are at school at which point I’ll save child care vouchers and use holiday clubs as well. I’ve heard good things about Barracudas not sure on the spelling but my friend sent her 2 and they loved it. Mine were jealous. I do get 33 and 8 bank holidays pro rata which I know is a lot and helps.

Original poster

LivingMyBestLie · 05/10/2022 12:44

Brefugee · 05/10/2022 12:34

with money and reciprocal favours with other parents.
This can not have come as a surprise to you, OP?

Is this supposed to be helpful?

OP posts:

Brefugee · 05/10/2022 12:49

you've had so much helpful advice, we were the same: relied on the childminder, paid clubs and never having time off together. I am repeating 10 pages worth of comments.
But my question still stands (and to every other of the million people who have in the past, and will in the future, post this after they already have children). How come this seems to have surprised you? There are dozens and dozens and dozens of conversations about this on MN.

Original poster

LivingMyBestLie · 05/10/2022 12:58

Brefugee · 05/10/2022 12:49

you've had so much helpful advice, we were the same: relied on the childminder, paid clubs and never having time off together. I am repeating 10 pages worth of comments.
But my question still stands (and to every other of the million people who have in the past, and will in the future, post this after they already have children). How come this seems to have surprised you? There are dozens and dozens and dozens of conversations about this on MN.

Are you ok? You sound quite bitter and usually that comes from a place of sadness...

If that's the case, feel free to post on Mumsnet, don't worry that others have already. It really isn't a crime to post about an issue others have already, despite what you feel.

Good luck, it's not nice to carry that kind of attitude around so hope you can get to the bottom of whatever it is that's making you feel like that

OP posts:

Original poster

LivingMyBestLie · 05/10/2022 13:00

Brefugee · 05/10/2022 12:49

you've had so much helpful advice, we were the same: relied on the childminder, paid clubs and never having time off together. I am repeating 10 pages worth of comments.
But my question still stands (and to every other of the million people who have in the past, and will in the future, post this after they already have children). How come this seems to have surprised you? There are dozens and dozens and dozens of conversations about this on MN.

And you're right, I've had a lot of helpful advice (obs not yours included) for which I'm very grateful. Its allowed me to feel less stressed which is great!

OP posts:

rhowton · 05/10/2022 13:06

We use holiday clubs and grandparents for our two DD's.

Mon/Thur they go to holiday club for £37.50 per day.
Tues/Wed they go to MIL/DM
Fri they stay at home with me as I dont work Friday during school holidays.

It's £1,200 in the summer holidays. £150 for half terms, and £300 for Christmas and Easter. £2250 per year and we use tax free childcare to pay for it.

Courgetteandbeans · 05/10/2022 14:46

Yes it stressful and very annoying that you don't get much holiday together as a family. I always do a spreadsheet at the beginning of the year to work out how to cover each holiday and we book all our days off.

Rowgtfc72 · 05/10/2022 15:03

Holiday clubs. Council run ones were 10- 3 Tues Wed Thurs and 8- 6 on a Friday.
Dh worked 2-10 so did drop off, I worked 6-2 so did pick up.
Cost 40 quid a week. All sporty clubs though, fortunately dd liked sports.
Council stopped the clubs when dd turned 10. She'd been doing them since she was 5.
It meant leaving her home alone for an hour a day between dh going to work and me getting home. Fortunately she was a sensible child who I trusted alone for an hour.

Banana7 · 05/10/2022 15:10

Numbat2022 · 04/10/2022 18:47

Doesn't your school have holiday clubs? They'll be cheaper than the one year old's nursery fees!

Our local holiday club is truly awful :chaos, mixing toddlers with 10 to 11 years old, no structure, no communication from the staff... The whole place is disorganised and doesn't feel fun or welcoming. We stopped sending our children there as it was doing them more harm than good, and they cried every time we took them there (they were little, between 2 and 5).
I work as a supply teacher so I can do the whole summer but it's obviously not ideal either as I don't earn any money in the summer + I can't stand them by the end of August (although I love them dearly!).
Check very carefully before you leave your children somewhere as the staff are usually not that qualified and sometimes are just fresh from school themselves!

Tomorrowisalatterday · 05/10/2022 15:12

If your DH's job is flexible - could he compress his hours in the school holidays to 4 day a week? Even if only for the summer hols, that would still help get you a few extra days

ThrowingSomeCrumbs · 05/10/2022 15:54

So between you you have 11 weeks annual leave. Make it 10 weeks so you have a week all together for a holiday. That only leaves you 4 weeks to cover.

I was able to do my hours over more days during holidays in order to use the cheaper end of the holiday clubs (the only ones that would have covered my working hours in a day were £45+ a day). I also took some unpaid leave. My current employer also lets me 'bank' time in lieu to take during school holidays which is very helpful. In previous job some colleagues had a term time only contract.

Brefugee · 05/10/2022 15:55

Good luck, it's not nice to carry that kind of attitude around so hope you can get to the bottom of whatever it is that's making you feel like that

ODFOD

heidipi · 05/10/2022 16:28

Repeating what previous posters have said already but you just need to break it down to what you really need:
Your partner gets 6 weeks holiday, you get 5 weeks holiday = 11 wks covered.
You need to organise childcare for 9 days minimum (3 weeks x 3 days when you are working) or more like 12 or 15 days if you want to have a week or 2 when you and your partner are both on holiday at the same time.

Presumably your youngest is at nursery/childminder while you are working anyway so that's sorted already, and for your older children you need a mix of paying for holiday clubs or a babysitter (local teenager/student/childminder?) or swaps with another parent in the same situation - so they have your two for pre-arranged days (e.g. once a week) along with theirs, you have theirs for a couple of days while you are off with yours. No family help here either so this is what we've done for the last 7 yrs - in a couple of years ours will both be old enough to be left and I can give up running the great Holiday Spreadsheet!

heidipi · 05/10/2022 16:34

Oh yes I've just realised your partner's holiday actually covers 10 weeks of your work, so with your 5 weeks too, that means you've already got one week you can take off together so only need to pay for childcare for any additional weeks you want to be on holiday at the same time. Sorted!

Original poster

LivingMyBestLie · 05/10/2022 18:42

heidipi · 05/10/2022 16:34

Oh yes I've just realised your partner's holiday actually covers 10 weeks of your work, so with your 5 weeks too, that means you've already got one week you can take off together so only need to pay for childcare for any additional weeks you want to be on holiday at the same time. Sorted!

Thank you so much for your message, put like that it seems very doable. So much so, I'm applying for a year round job tonight!

It felt out of reach before (I had been forgetting to take away the 2 days I would have off a week from the holidays!).

So thank you!

OP posts:

EllieQ · 06/10/2022 21:07

Brefugee · 05/10/2022 12:49

you've had so much helpful advice, we were the same: relied on the childminder, paid clubs and never having time off together. I am repeating 10 pages worth of comments.
But my question still stands (and to every other of the million people who have in the past, and will in the future, post this after they already have children). How come this seems to have surprised you? There are dozens and dozens and dozens of conversations about this on MN.

I also wonder the same thing @Brefugee I know this will sound like a snarky comment, but it’s truly not meant to be. On a local parenting FB group, there’s always a few people asking a similar question after school allocations come out each April, and I’m puzzled why people who are already using childcare while working didn’t seem to realise that childcare would be needed for school holidays and plan ahead.

In my case, I was aware from hearing family/ friends who had children before me talk about childcare, and work colleagues talking about covering the school holidays, so it was already on my radar. Plus the basic fact that nursery was open all year round while school is not! So I’d really like to understand why people are so surprised by it.

Brefugee · 06/10/2022 21:10

tbh I'm not entirely sure the OP is in good faith so I stopped following this post.

but in the event someone is reading who does not yet have chldren: before i got pregnant, pre-internet, i did a lot of reading. Particularly about language development in bilingual children. But also about the pros & cons of SAHP, how long maternity leave could/should be, what to do to get the best out of it, how to approach siblings coming along, school, how to help with homework and how to choose childcare.

Mostly ad hoc, mostly asking friends and colleagues. But I have been a child - and i used to talk to my mum about how she handled work/kids/husband being away 6 months of the year.

And then i had children anyway ;)

roseum · 06/10/2022 22:14

Like many a colour coded spreadsheet!
I do the following:
buy additional annual leave
salary sacrifice to get tax free childcare allowance- both of you do these if you can
I work part-time, but negotiated working full time for some holiday weeks in return for time off later in the holidays as I realised it was cheaper with the discounts to pay for full weeks of holiday club rather than part-time holiday club each week
went to stay with my parents and wfh at theirs, while taking some half days holiday to take kids out (parents too elderly to have them full time)
used a childminder some of the days to give DC a change from holiday club and worked part-time that week
banked time by paying slightly more for holiday clubs that ran longer and working longer days
playdates and sleepovers with other parents
annual leave

its doable for us as there are loads of holiday clubs where we live (south east)

investigate early, plan, and save all year to spread the cost!

one year I chopped and changed holiday clubs so there was loads of variety- sports, science, drama etc. DC hated it, too much having to make new friends. They prefer the same place, but in chunks of 2 weeks with a week doing something different like visiting my parents in-between.

TimeSlipMushroom · 06/10/2022 22:17

Well you've got 11 weeks covered with both of your annual leave so three weeks shouldn't be too hard

chickpea4 · 08/10/2022 17:57

Holiday clubs. They are usually quite inexpensive (there is one at my child's school that runs during term breaks so no change in routine either) and actually run longer hours than the school day, ours runs from 8-6. You can use Childcare vouchers, and I'm sure there are other discount schemes available you may be able to qualify for if you ask. I also take a few days off during the summer for summer holidays anyways.

MinervaTerrathorn · 08/10/2022 18:31

heidipi · 05/10/2022 16:34

Oh yes I've just realised your partner's holiday actually covers 10 weeks of your work, so with your 5 weeks too, that means you've already got one week you can take off together so only need to pay for childcare for any additional weeks you want to be on holiday at the same time. Sorted!

The DP would need to take 5 days off for the week together instead of three, so it will leave two days requiring holiday club, but they are otherwise sorted and still get a week together!

Trinity69 · 08/10/2022 19:13

I've had to go for a term time only job and pay for breakfast and after school club for my daughter. Both of my kids have SEN so during the holidays (in my old job) I had to take leave or owe back the hours once the kids went back to school. Holiday clubs and childcare wouldn't have been accessible for my children.

DanceItOut · 08/10/2022 20:56

For people that earn a reasonable wage or have two wages per household pay for childcare. For me on minimum wage…it was why it’s taken me so long to get back into work because I physically couldn’t afford the childcare. Now I thankfully need significantly less childcare so I can just about afford to pay for the extras. That said I am currently petrified because there is already a wait list for the holiday club for Easter and summer at my kids school 🤦🏼‍♀️