Work "bestie"

[Gem8701]

Hi All,

So I have recently started seeing this guy called Mike, anyway mike has a really good job and his work bestie is called Laura, they video call quite frequently and apparently are really good friends.
Laura said to him “if she hurts you I’ll come over there and smash her face in”
Is it just me or is this vile? I personally would never say that, I just don’t think it’s a nice comment.
And I also don’t think he should of told me – obviously I wasn’t gonna be happy about it.
Furthermore he’s going through a divorce – they where together 16 years – apparently she was controlling, he brings her up a lot. We spoke about the bedroom stuff the other day and he brought her up then and I said “I don’t need to know about yours and Lauras sex life” (His ex is also called Laura).
Is he just a bit dumb or are these red flags?

Why are you even entertaining this shit?

Odd. Get rid, too much baggage.

Farrrrrr too much drama for what is supposed to be the most fun time of the relationship.

Next!

She sounds extremely over-invested in this guys business and personal affairs. Sounds like she fancies him tbh. I'd steer well clear of her because I'm sure she'll continue to cause problems for you in the future.

We have only been seeing each other a few weeks and I do really like him - just these issues I mentioned 😟

She fancies him. And she is fuuuuming that he didn't start seeing her when he split from his ex.

@TallulahBetty She's engaged and trying for a baby though?

I am really sad now x

His wife was probably perfectly lovely and got shut of him because he enjoys the attentions of work women to feed his ego. Hth.

But you don't 'really like him' because he comes with this massive issue which is clearly a red flag.

Either she fancies him, or something has happened/is happening between them. Either way, it sounds messy and not worth getting involved in.

Does she seem like the type that would smash your face in that would put me right off him actually

Red flags to me.

Incidentally, I wouldn't want to work with anyone who suggested violence, even if joking.

Do i mention it and give him a chance ?

Never trust a man/woman who slates their ex. It's usually them that was the problem, not their ex.
As it's only been a few weeks, I would get rid. He shouldn't be bringing her up so much, seems like he's not over her totally yet

Laura said to him “if she hurts you I’ll come over there and smash her face in”

Why would he tell you that? He sounds like a loser.

@cc1997 no idea

I am at a loss what to do, I do really like the guy but obviously there are red flags 😣

Life is too short to date someone going through a divorce who tells you his friend wants to beat you up and constantly brings up his ex.

So aggressive of her to say that, and him to use that comment to impact you.

She is letting you know she is closer to him and has more of a ‘claim’ on him.

He’s letting you know how much she values him and that he loves that.

Fuck that shit. Leave him to his Lauras.

I think you need to raise your standards if all this has come to light in the first few weeks of dating someone and you still actually like him. He told you one of his friends threatened to smash your face in!!?? At best he’s thick, but most likely he’s thick and horrid.

@Summerfun54321 He said it was said in gest.

It's not a normal thing for either of them to say, in any context. Ever.

@cc1997 I agree - Do I talk to him about it?

If you want to, but I personally would just end the whole thing. I wouldn't have time for someone like that, as stated before. He's clearly not going to make a U turn on the points you've said, so what would be the point?

It’s just not something a normal person would mention in the honeymoon/romance period IMO even if it was a joke.

No, you walk away now before you're over invested. The divorce and attempt to foster drama with relaying the 'work bestie' 🤢 comments aren't a sign of a man ready for a healthy relationship.