AIBU?
Mixed sex toilets
Wichit · 04/10/2022 01:15
I work for an organisation that employs about 250 people. We have high staff turnover and a lot of us work hybrid.
A few months ago all our toilets at work got changed to mixed sex. They are self contained individual cubicles. We didn't get consulted or anything, just got to work on Monday and every toilet had a joint man and woman sign.
About a month ago I went to use the loo, opened the door and there was a bloke already in there with his back to me. He turned around when I opened the door. He was semi undressed and I could clearly see his lad etc.
Lots of apologies, swift door close etc. I hadn't actually met him previously due to hybrid and high turnover.
It made me feel uncomfortable. I don't know the guy.
I raised with my line manager that this new toilet policy is potentially putting staff in tricky situations and he told me to take it to HR. Which I did and their response is that he probably forgot to close the door.
Well I mean yeah hopefully so, but nobody has any way of knowing that and anyway that is not the issue. The issue is that my employer should not be facilitating a set-up where such ambiguous encounters can happen. I think, anyway. AIBU?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Whatwouldscullydo · 04/10/2022 12:03
But they don't close the door.
Its not up to women to keep trying to " parent " the men by running to hr getting them to write emails. They don't get to adulthood not knowing about doors. They don't care.
I mean look at the home office. No one used the mixed loos there either. Emails do jack.
Musti · 04/10/2022 12:07
I would hate a mixed toilet and I would be suspicious if he didn’t leave the door unlocked on purpose for the thrill - who the hell doesn’t lock a public toilet door?? I never close the toilet door at home if it’s just me or the kids but I have never forgotten to lock the door of a toilet because I didn’t want a stranger walking in on me whilst in the toilet.
ForestDad · 04/10/2022 12:08
I'd suggest a note above the loo reminding people that it's a mixed sex toilet and to always lock the door. (And maybe leave how you like to find etc). If this is above the toilet it would be right on stand up wee man eyeline.
Rather than bother HR just get your laminator out one quiet moment?
mrsjohnnylawrence · 04/10/2022 12:12
I have never seen a shared area for a toilet on a train or plane @KimberleyClark
Have you? That would be a mixed sex toilets.
I think on trains they are single use toilets, which are not mixed sex, but single use. No shared area.
The toilet in my house is not mixed sex, it's single use; one at a time.
WillPowerLite · 04/10/2022 12:22
I have never forgotten to lock the door of a public toilet. Ever. I think that is the experience of most women. And likely most men.
I'd say 'he forgot' is the least likely explanation.
There are other explanations, not all of them pervy. But whatever it is, he should be explaining himself to HR and issuing an apology to the OP.
Simonjt · 04/10/2022 12:30
We have these, I once walked in on my new boss as she hadn’t locked the door, it opens up into reception as well, luckily it wasn’t busy so she didn’t have a huge audience. We now have a laminated sign and we tend to either knock, or open the door a tiny bit to give someone the chance to shout.
maddy68 · 04/10/2022 12:45
WillPowerLite · 04/10/2022 12:22
I have never forgotten to lock the door of a public toilet. Ever. I think that is the experience of most women. And likely most men.
I'd say 'he forgot' is the least likely explanation.
There are other explanations, not all of them pervy. But whatever it is, he should be explaining himself to HR and issuing an apology to the OP.
I actually did it last night. The loo was opened on me straight onto the beach. Luckily for my. Blushes I had "finished" and was washing my hands but two mins later I would have been exposed to the world.
Whatwouldscullydo · 04/10/2022 12:48
Its women who have the maternity leave. Certainly predominantly fir the first few months its women with the majority of the care for children due to vreast feeding/maternity leave.
Theres also a disturbing number of men who either decide to take their girls into the women's, or offload the care to women because the mens is apparently so disgusting and they refuse to take the kids in the mens toilets.
Of course the thing to do would be to complain to the site manager amd get the mens cleaned up so its fit to house the children but that doesn't seem to happen.much does it.
But thats a whole other issue.
Men Certainly do not need to deal with post partum bleeding and menstruation that require a bit of privacy
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.