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Original poster

Did you used to think you were really *Special

101 replies

Thesameasitwasnt · 03/10/2022 23:22

When young?

I was talking about it with Dh and he also used to feel as a child that there was something special about him and that he could do or be anything in life.
It’s hard to explain what I mean 🙈did anyone else have this?
Was it our parents installing it in us, or just the magic of youth

OP posts:
TooHotToRamble · 04/10/2022 05:10

Ticksallboxes · 03/10/2022 23:42

Nope. I felt like a freak until I was about 50, even though my life has been pretty easy all in all.

I'm now 55 and have recently lost a parent. It's been hard but the upside is that everything has fallen into perspective now and I feel a strange, cast-iron confidence that I've never felt before.

There's still hope for me yet then! I'd sort of given up that it would ever happen for me. I am 49 and always felt like a freak too, very low self confidence. Maybe there still time although I hope I don't also have to lose a parent to get there 💐

nonstoprenovation · 04/10/2022 05:44

WalkthisWayUK · 04/10/2022 01:54

I had kind of the opposite. Everyone around me told me I was special, I had a talent, was intelligent, very able. But I was unconfident and hated feeling so much expectation, also no one really helped me with my talent (parents said they couldn’t afford it) and school (got sent to one far away where I was very isolated) so now I realise I did have potential but I feel rubbish that I didn’t fulfill it.

Couldn't you do it now??

Charley50 · 04/10/2022 05:46

Yes when I was very small for a little while I felt I could inhabit whoever or whatever I wanted to be, be it a cat or a pop star.

I had a Truman Show-like phase too, when I thought everyone and everything was a bit-player in my life and I was the star. I think that was partly because I had so little control in life that I thought like that, but maybe I was just egotistical. By my early teens I think I realised I wasn't one of those people who life seems to fall into place for. That was mainly for people on TV.

Woodsparrow · 04/10/2022 06:20

Yes I did and in honesty still do. I hide it these days though. I'm full of self confidence but I can see that it cost me friendships when I was younger

UnsureAndUnsteady · 04/10/2022 06:21

I felt/feel this and always called it “much loved”! I used to say in my head, “because I am much loved I can do anything”. I was probably a precocious child annoying and believed I was interesting to everyone 😬. I felt this complete certainty that one day I would change the world.

I definitely still have that feeling now, although changing the world in a less flashy, headline grabbing way than I previously envisaged🤣 It probably helps that have done very well career-wise (one of the youngest people to reach my position in my field) and am still moving up.

FlimFlam2 · 04/10/2022 06:25

Yes, and I wish someone had told me that NO ONE is special because of who they are, but but that you can DO special things. Might have helped me get off my arse and do something other than waiting for my Hogwarts letter.

MargotChateau · 04/10/2022 06:34

Yes. I had two parents who were known and recognised in their fields and I was pushed to work hard from very young and to pursue ambitious goals.

I was encouraged to take up and excel at my parents separate professions/talents, and because of one of these talents I gained a full academic scholarship to an exclusive school, and then gained scholarships all the way up to my masters.

I peaked early a bit I think, I was successful and often in the newspapers from about aged 7 onwards, and even now when I get big career highs, I’ve been doing it so long I don’t ever really get that excited.

My friends growing up and now are also child prodigy types, a lot of us missed out on just ‘playing’ as children, so we are all quite playful and silly when we hang out.

To be honest I think people probably judge parents who push their kids, but culturally it’s normal for immigrant parents to push their kids and also if you have a smart kid, I think that energy needs channelling. I do feel a bit sad though that I felt a lot of responsibility to make my parents (mostly my mother) proud though.

crossstitchingnana · 04/10/2022 06:36

Definitely not. The opposite.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 04/10/2022 06:37

Gosh no.
I look at me and my school friends (am in my 50s) and I'm really amazed at what we have achieved despite our truly terrible secondary education and lack of encouragement from parents and teachers.

JennyForeigner · 04/10/2022 06:50

Yes, I was convinced I was going to be a great writer. Or possibly a striker for Manchester United (they were big in the '80s).

I can count the number of times I actually played football on one hand. On the other, I derived and continue to derive huge satisfaction from writing. I do it for myself and to get better at handling plot and pace and so on, but can feel a sense of progression over time and if that's not satisfying, what is?

Sparklybees · 04/10/2022 07:09

Yes I did, for quite a long time too. Was quite a shock in my 20s to realise I was leading an average life.

It's lovely in a way as a child but did make me feel like I didn't have to try at all but when you absolutely do.

I used to believe when I was growing up that I would be the next female PM after a successful few years at Cambridge. None of this obviously came to pass and I ended up in a fairly standard operations role with a 2:2 from a more normal uni.

NumberTheory · 04/10/2022 07:10

I thought I could be pretty much anything I wanted to be until I was 20 something, the world was my oyster, etc.. I didn’t really think I was particularly special, though. I thought lots of people could be whatever they wanted to be.

My aunt, on the other hand, sincerely believed she had been swapped as a baby and was actually a princess.

lljkk · 04/10/2022 07:29

I thought when I was small that people were a waste of space if they weren't special, and I wasn't special. I know, I know! I've told DC it's fine to be ordinary.

Sunnyqueen · 04/10/2022 07:29

Not when I was a child but when I was a teen I was convinced I didn't need to do a thing I'd just turn out rich/famous /successful whatever I did. It really shot me in foot because it genuinely led me to believe I didn't need to bother with further education.

dudsville · 04/10/2022 07:32

I honestly believed i could really talk with cats. That surely must count.

Dreamingcats · 04/10/2022 07:40

I don't remember feeling like this, but I was in my mid 20s before I realised that working hard and trying to do the right thing didn't always result in the outcome you wanted. And that bad people can her away with it. That hit me hard.

Imissmoominmama · 04/10/2022 07:44

Some might say my confidence is misplaced, but they don’t know what goes on inside my head.

I’m awesome and always have been.

MaryBeardsShoes · 04/10/2022 07:46

Rainbows89 · 04/10/2022 03:03

When I was a kid I couldn’t imagine my future at all and thought that this meant I would be dead at 29.

bit bleak!

thankfully I am now 46 and still alive and kicking and pretty happy with how things have turned out!!

I felt absolutely the same! I also thought I was the worst person to ever live. So special in another way I suppose.

Now 10 years on from 29 I have plans for the first time in my life!

Angelinflipflops · 04/10/2022 07:50

No, the problem with individuals thinking they're 'special', it leaves others not so special, that's not the kind of society I want to live in

MillyWithaY · 04/10/2022 07:50

This is so interesting. I had no idea there were so many people walking around thinking they are the bee's knees. Personally never felt special, never thought the world revolved around me, just a normal person living a normal life.

SleeplessInEngland · 04/10/2022 07:52

”You’re special - just like everyone else.”

QuebecBagnet · 04/10/2022 07:52

I was convinced I was going to be able to levitate if I kept trying. Does that count? 😂

oopsfellover · 04/10/2022 07:53

Yeah I can identify with that. I’ve probably still got a bit of it, despite life throwing up much evidence to the contrary!

Imissmoominmama · 04/10/2022 07:53

Angelinflipflops · 04/10/2022 07:50

No, the problem with individuals thinking they're 'special', it leaves others not so special, that's not the kind of society I want to live in

I see the special qualities in others too. They might not be the same as my special qualities, but society would be weighted wrongly if we were all the same.

I understand what you mean though.

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 04/10/2022 08:04

Yes, I remember feeling quite betrayed when I realised I actually wasn't a special, beautiful, wonderful human being but was, in fact, quite ordinary! I think I realised it at about 8 or 9. However, I have always had confidence in myself and decent self-esteem so I am glad my parents made me feel that way as I think it helped! I also didn't think others were inferior to me; I just felt like I personally could do great things but not that others couldn't! It's hard to explain as op said.