To ask how to stop having conversations with people in my head?

[Cinnamonandcoal]

When I'm angry about something someone (usually at work) has said, or I've been treated unfairly in some way.

Obviously it's unacceptable and unwise to just lay it all out for them so I'll make whatever more diplomatic response is justified but then just go over and over all the comebacks and arguements I want to make in my head. I think that's normal?

But I can't stop - I can't focus on anything else because I'm just constantly having these one sided arguments and it's not helpful or productive. I'd like to stop giving these idiots so much of my headspace, basically.

Do other people also do this, and are there any tips on how to calm myself down and turn my mind to other things?

I do this! I even get angry at people over the arguments I've had with them in my head.
I also laugh to myself and have imaginary, fantastic sex with people.

I really hope nobody actually has the power to read people's mind because it's fucking chaos up here!

I used to do this a lot, but then I had a breakdown and now I don't! I would literally run conversations over and over, tweaking and practicing in case I ever got in that exact situation again. I had hours of responses fully crafted to be at my figure tips, rehearsed to perfection but I never used any of it as I always froze in real life!!

It's exhausting isn't it, my head is chaos too, often can't sleep, I literally drive myself around the twist

I'm the same, it is so draining. I've even tried reasoning with myself, yes, losing her as a friend hurts but no, there's nothing I can do about it but it's still running on a loop up there! I don't even care that much so not sure what's going on! 🤣

Weirdly, when I used to go to yoga, we did an exercise where we all had to look out of the window and concentrate on what we see. The different heights of the trees, the texture of the leaves, the different colours, the distance between them and the houses etc, really focus on the scene as if I were to paint it in detail... It sounds tedious because it is but it does give a few moments respite from the (what I assume are) intrusive thoughts.

Another technique I read somewhere but yet to try it lately, picture the person (or scene) in your mind. Does it appear large or small? Mine are always large so I make them smaller in my mind. I dull the colours out of it until it's black and white and eventually all blacked out. Rinse and repeat until it lessens. It's worked in the past.

So glad I saw this post as I just wrote myself off as being a fruitcake but maybe I'm just one of many and that makes it borderline normal 🤣

I do this all day long .Its driving me bonkers to be honest!

I do this!

I replay scenarios in my mind and fantasise over the reaction I would liked to have had rather than the one I did. It has been a coping mechanism over the years.

This is a good mindfulness meditation for rumination/overthinking. I'm going to try the bus method a pp mentioned 😀

The way I see it, at least I'm talking to a sensible person

But, more seriously, I have adhd too, so I think that may well be my reason.. also have been reading about how some people have to say things out loud to process them (aka "talking too much"), which I do too, so think it's all a part of how I process stuff.

If it bothers you, I can recommend Headspace. You can learn to quiet your mind. Even I have managed it, and you can choose one of a couple of voices (I love Andy, I think he's the founder), and anything from 2 minutes of listening!

I remember seeing a meme of someone stepping into the shower with the words “time to step into the imaginary argument simulator” which made me lol. This is me all over. I’ve started playing music in the car or when I’m working, washing up etc as it’s the only way to stop the chatter!

I do this loads. Mainly caused by tensions at work. I think it's common. Watching re mindfulness. However, another thing that works for me is raising the issue in real life - too many internal convos is a sign you need another real life discussion.

Some really interesting ideas here, thank you all.

Omg, the shower meme! It happens to me every time, drives me mad.
I'd be interested in finding out more about acupuncture to relieve it.

I do this but then my job is very high stress and I deal with some right errrr challenging people who should not better.

eg why can’t you just do this? Me - because that will cost you an extra £2 million and the thing won’t fly as it will be too heavy 😂

the best answer I ever gave was a 50 page questionnaire from a ceo asking why we couldn’t do the project and I replied with one word Gravity.

but yes sometimes a dialogue goes on in my head and it’s an emotional response and me processing it.

podcast are great

but really I find my dogs and horses are a huge destress

Thank you for starting this thread op. I do this all the time and it's reassuring to see I'm not alone.

Sometimes my head makes up arguments and I imagine someone saying terrible things to me which I have to respond to. The imaginary people are always those who do cause me stress in real life but god knows why my brain feels the need to invite them in for extra, made up conversations.

I used to do it all the time. Maybe it's age and having a few less issues but in recent years it's stopped. It used to be a really helpful way of sorting out my issues.

I do this and wonder if it’s a menopause thing, as I haven’t always done it.

Sertraline, it's shut down all voices in my head

I do this too, one day my daughter asked me why I was talking to myself and I realised I was muttering away to myself like a crazy person 😬

Wait until your internal dialogue becomes external for all and sundry to hear you talking out loud to yourself, with different voices and accents, too.
Rant diary helps . Get it out somewhere on a paper or in a text you never send or something.

I do this too! But one thing i've found helps be able to calm it down/get over it is if I name my feelings to myself, ie I felt belittled by that person and I didn't have the words to respond at the time so now feel embarrassed/unprofessional .. whatever, I find it's accepting the negative feelings helps me move on.

I would like some advice on this too.
I get told I "meet stuff half way". I can get in an almighty rage about something that has not even happened.

I do this too..constantly..its exhausting at times..

I think I wanted to be prepared for something that hasn't happened yet or have a do-over of something that happened. It's a rehearsal sometimes and I end up winding myself up so much it's foul.
It happens more when I have had to bite my tongue and couldn't say what I really wanted to say. We can't always tell people to fuck off, sometimes it would lead to us getting sacked. So it seeps out in other ways.

Yeah, I’ve blurted stuff out. Could be a random sentence or even sudden swear words. Only happened out loud in the last couple of years though.
I’m mortified because I know senior professional people have heard me

The monologue is exhausting. I wish I could turn it off but I’ve done it forever, it’s just getting worse as I’m getting older.

This!