Wfh kids holidays

[Bluevelvetcake2]

Hi

currently trying to work out our household budget for the coming years and as kids leave nursery and start school one potential expense will be holiday clubs. wondering whether we would need holiday clubs for all holiday weeks which we couldn’t cover with annual leave or if it would be ok to have them at home with us for a week in each holiday whilst we work from home. does anyone do this? thanks

my kids stay at home with me while I work from home part time.

I have a few playscheme days for my youngest and sometimes their grandparents will have them.

but otherwise they chill in the house.

This is really saying something when you consider the insane cost of Lego.

The thing is...downtime for a 4 or 5 year old looks very different to downtime for an 11 or 12 year old or young teen.

My DC does love having a 'lazy' day at home, but this usually involves us getting up a bit later, maybe cuddling next to me in bed for an hour or two either reading books together or on their tablet, then downstairs making pancakes or something special for breakfast. Then they might potter with toys for a bit while I chill out on the sofa and occasionally join in their game, they might ask for playdoh or some craft stuff to be put out or to play a board game and then we'll go out in the garden or for a quick walk. Then back and cuddle up on the sofa with a few movies and some popcorn or other snacks. Long warm bath before bed.

What I can't get away with (at least not without endless unhealthy snacks and screen time) is being in a completely separate room not interacting at all with DC and not taking DC out for exercise. I find at this age that downtime for DC still involves quite a lot of interaction and supervision on my part. If I just ignore DC and leave them alone, DC gets lonely and anxious and behaviour goes downhill quickly.

When my son was younger I used a mixture of childminder, holiday club and activities. The activities used to run 10-12 and 2-4. It was one day a week and I managed to make it work WFH but he used to entertain himself when he wasn't doing the activity and didn't bother me if he knew I was on a call etc.

I was in the office and he was in childcare the rest of the week.

Only you will know if you need eight hours interrupted time and if your kids will let you work or want things all the time or start fighting or whatever. They sound too young if you are talking about nursery - my son was about 8 when he was doing the activities at the leisure centre.

Since it's usually a quiet work day DH and I tend to do the odd Friday WFH with the kids there. It's a bit of an iPad/tv day so wouldn't do it more than that, plus I think it would take the piss work-wise. Most of the time they're in clubs, or we book it off/go on holiday.

Our school holiday club (ran by council but in school buildings) runs 8-6 if you need it or part days if not. Easier to get a space if your child uses breakfast club or after school club though.

No I don’t think it’s fair, to them or your boss. Unless they are secondary age

It depends on your job and your kids. It's doable, but not in long stretches imo.

My kids are 5 and 8 and this summer made me decide never again. They just get bored and it's not fair on them to be parked infront of the the TV, or for me to get stressy with them because I need to do work. So going forward we will max do a day at home at a time.

Half days work pretty well for us though. Especialyl if your woek is happy for you to be flexible and split it (e.g. 2 hrs in the morning when they are lazing around in front of the tv anyway, go out somewhere, and then pop on a film and do two more hours later).

There’s different types of club. The one DD’s school ran was basically free play including in the grounds. All ages played together. Sometimes they did baking but it was nice - they used to play school, babies, dressing up etc - was nice to see them all together.

Once both my children started school a week of unpaid parental leave in the long summer break doesn't leave me that much short on my wage vs the cost of holiday club, and I get the bonus of extra time with them. Each parent is entitled to 18 weeks from 0-18 for each child and must be taken as a weeks block (different rules if child is disabled), but your employer can decide the timing based on business need so check how likely this is to be allowed in school holiday times.

We had our young children home during both lockdowns and wfh and it was pretty unfair to us all, so I wouldn't like to do it every day through choice (although appreciate some people may not have any other option)

Now we wfh one or two day pw with them at home. They do watch a lot of TV those days so we go out for a walk in the morning then try to take staggered lunch breaks, one of us feeds them lunch at midday, the other parent will then take them to the park or supermarket or do a craft with them to break up their day. The other days they go to holiday clubs, take annual leave, go on reciprocal play dates, stay with grandparents for a few days.

My employer won't allow work from home if you're caring for a child under 11, so I can't if she's off sick but can when she's in school. You have to find out what your work's policy is.

Just curious …. How would your work know? If you tell them they are in childcare how would they know they are not?

Mines never asked me and I don’t think they have a set policy on this.

Depends on your job and the characters of your children.

Personally I try very hard not to do this, as I find it hell on Earth- and my ds is 8 (also have a teen but it’s fine with her at home).

Unless absolutely necessary, and just for a few days, I don’t think it’s fair on DC either - it’s really sad for them to be at home and effectively ignored. It’s bad enough when they’re ill and in bed.

It also causes me incredible stress. I got panic attacks about it during the pandemic and got taken to hospital because they thought it was a heart attack. Exh’s dad died and I suddenly got the kids sent back to me in a part of the hols I wasn’t expecting- trying to work a responsible job (I’m a lawyer if relevant) with a then 6 yo in the background is not fun.

@HollyJollyXmas57 they know if the children won’t leave you alone on video conferences. Or your output drops.

I think if your child is well behaved they will never know. It’s unenforceable really

It may be unenforceable with some workplaces @ReadyForPumpkins. But if your employer were to find out and discover that it is a regular occurrence without prior agreement, then I suspect you'd be in hot water.
And rightly so.

The holiday clubs my kids go to have downtime areas, reading nooks and also relaxing bits

I tried working from home with my 6 year old for a week. It was impossible. I lasted 3 short days before I called my boss and said I couldn't do it.

I think it does really depend on your job, it's flexibility and your child's nature. Also I think you'd have to get agreement from your boss - unless you are the boss of course!

My 6 year old was very needy, I could get a Max of 30mins peace before getting 'mum, mum, mum...' again. If left him on sofa with a film he wet himself because he got so engrossed he'd forgot. Bedtime was absolute nightmare because he'd literately not left the sofa all day.

Assuming a desk based/laptop job:

Where will you work? Lounge, kitchen table, office space? If young DC you'd need to be be in the same room as them. I wouldn't leave a small child in a room unsupervised for more than a few minutes.
Will it be noisy - TV, computer games etc? What will they do? Are they good at playing independently? Are you concerned if they spend 6 hours straight watching TV/ computer games? Can they change channel/games by themselves? Do they remember to snack, drink, go to the toilet if left of the sofa watching TV etc?
Do you have meetings/ phone calls? Are they at planned times or spontaneous? Will the kids make noise, try to join in etc?

DS is now 8 and I can work a couple of hours or so from home quite easily, if I've got no meetings planned. If he is playing computer games. If I feed him and tell him to go for a wee before I leave him in lounge and I go and work in office space in next room. But wouldn't do all day. And definitely not a whole week!

Can you do some play date swaps with other parents? One parent has all kids one day, other parent has the kids the next day. Reduce the amount of time off and holiday clubs needed. But personally I'd factor in the cost of holiday club for most days!

If you're working, you can't look after your children and if you're looking after your children, you can't be giving your full attention to your work.

Pre-pandemic I used a playscheme at our local university - sometimes just half days with me or DH taking a half day of leave. This scheme had great activities and outings, but also allowed for screen time or just reading a book. The kids didn't have to be 100% active all the time. They also took my youngest when he'd broken his collar bone and looked after him well. It didn't come cheap, but you just balance out the costs over the whole year.

True.
I don’t have to do video calls and my output doesn’t drop while they are here.

We mix and match as well. Our private school offers a 4 week holiday club (9 am - 4 pm) in the summer.

Otherwise we have them at home and just let them do their own thing (which means gaming non-stop) if it cannot be avoided. But they are older-almost 11 and almost 13.

I know other parents send their kids to GPs for a week here and there (not an option for us) or send them on adventure camps (not an option for us either as older DS has a number of disabilities and the younger one at the moment at least prefers to be at home as he is very shy and clingy).

None of it is ideal.

To add- I am a lawyer and do alot of online court hearings so I need total peace to do that. The family know and DH steps in to sort arguments out if required. It takes some serious teamwork.

It is a juggle and it all sucks.

@HollyJollyXmas57 in my case I’ve worked there for years and they know my circumstances. My work is pretty flexible anyway so I can mostly do what suits me. I wouldn’t want to take the mick because of that. But no, they wouldn’t really be able to find out because there’s very little in the way of online meetings

My work are okay with me having a child (or children) at home when it really cannot be helped [illness etc] but as a rule, no I cannot WFH with the kids here.

We are lucky in that we have family help and I only work 3 days per week but yes all of our annual leave is taken to cover school holidays.

I have 6 weeks per year, DP is self employed (so doesn't get paid) so he does 2/3 weeks and our family cover the rest. We are very lucky!

For me, if I’m working, I’m being paid to work, not look after my kids.