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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wfh kids holidays

80 replies

Bluevelvetcake2 · 03/10/2022 12:26

Hi

currently trying to work out our household budget for the coming years and as kids leave nursery and start school one potential expense will be holiday clubs. wondering whether we would need holiday clubs for all holiday weeks which we couldn’t cover with annual leave or if it would be ok to have them at home with us for a week in each holiday whilst we work from home. does anyone do this? thanks

OP posts:
TinyTear · 03/10/2022 13:52

not fair on the children, they would be bored stiff and even get tired of watching TV.
at holiday clubs they see their friends, do activities, have trips and so on...

you need to look around for the right club. unfortunately many are school hours only, but i have a community centre nearby that does 9-6

my children are in primary and the oldest is already wondering if she can go back in secondary school as a teen helper as she doesn't want to be home... we might send her to a coding or specialist club for a week (with the usual stupid 10-14 hours of these clubs) and then let her go and help if they will take her...

Dixiechickonhols · 03/10/2022 14:02

I think you still need something if they are infants age. They can’t sit watching tv on iPad for all day every day. But probably can get away with 9-3 cheaper clubs rather than 8-6.

ReadyForPumpkins · 03/10/2022 14:04

They will get very bored and only you will know if they will disturb you trying to work. I find it gets easier when they are older. My 11 year old is very ok playing with her screen but the younger one isn't. I very much doubt a 4 or 5 year old can entertain themselves without supervision.

TheTeddyBears · 03/10/2022 14:07

I pick my daughter up and work the last 2 hrs with her at home. My work are fine with this. I actually use my lunch break to pick her up and then get her drink/snack when we get home. She okay with her toys or on her tablet sometimes watches telly.

The only thing is if I have meetings sometimes she will talk to me or ask me something even though I've told her not to and I'm going on a meeting soon u need anything. Don't be

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 03/10/2022 14:09

Intend to work mornings from home during school holidays, and take the afternoons off, but mine are 10 and 13 and quite happy not to get out of bed until 11am!!

Gazelda · 03/10/2022 14:16

I don't think it works practically. And the guilt as a parent, employee and colleague can be huge.

As a manager, my experience is that team members who WFH while their DC are off school don't contribute as much during school holidays as they do term time.

Also, my role includes discussing sensitive stuff and while I have no worries about DC sharing confidentiality, I don't think its fair to risk them overhearing upsetting conversations or discussions that they may misinterpret.

Secondary aged would be OK, in my opinion.

TheTeddyBears · 03/10/2022 14:19

I pick my daughter up and work the last 2 hrs with her at home. She's 5. My work are fine with this. I actually use my lunch break to pick her up and then get her drink/snack when we get home. She just plays with her toys or goes on her tablet, sometimes watches telly. She's usually good though and my dh is often in within an hour of her being home. She's usually good though and my dh is often home before 4pm.

The only thing is if I have meetings sometimes she will talk to me or ask me something even though I've told her not to unless urgent. I'm sure sometimes she does it on purpose 🙈 Not sure I cld manage to wfh with 2 of them though when youngest starts school. I might need to change my hours so I can finish just before 3pm.

I once tried to do half a day with her at home she was going to grans in afternoon and that was tough. Made me realise no way cld I regularly wfh with her around in the holidays. She kept trying to sneak her head in ti my meetings 🙈 I think a full week would be hard odd days here and there would work better and if u cld take extended lunch and make the time up.

Original poster
Bluevelvetcake2 · 03/10/2022 14:23

Interesting, responses overwhelmingly suggest it isn’t a good idea. Fair enough.

I thought kids might find it exhausting to be doing active things all the time and some down time over the holidays at home would be good but I’m probably wrong about that.

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 03/10/2022 14:27

I would not be happy with a colleague who did this. Plus it's awful for the kids stuck at home expected to entertain themselves. In my job I actually work all day long so would just be neglecting my dc if they were at home.

Pixilicious1 · 03/10/2022 14:27

I would expect the members of my team to have childcare in place, as I do for my DC. Whether that is holiday clubs or play dates, etc. Only in exceptional circumstances would I be OK with them having their DC with them while they work at such a young age. How can you do your job if you are also looking after your children? And it's not fair on the children to leave them to their own devices for hours at a time

SummerInSun · 03/10/2022 14:28

Another option is to do some mixing and matching with other parents - are there days or even half days where a parent of one of their friends can take them to the park or a free museum or cheap activity, while you do it the next day or week?

I agree the kids will get tired out by all holiday clubs and will want some time at home. But equally they'll get bored if they are just at home. We try to have some weeks where they might do three days of clubs and two at home. Or a club that runs to 3pm only rather than 5pm, as if they've spent most of the day doing sport, art, etc, it's not a big deal if you then park them in front of a movie on tv while you finish working.

ZenNudist · 03/10/2022 14:28

You could probably do a 9 to 3 club plus bring them home and stick them in front of the TV for a while.

FlounderingFruitcake · 03/10/2022 14:31

Dependent on the nature of your jobs and what your kids are like then a half day sports or activity camp followed by lunch altogether then an afternoon in front of the TV might be a good compromise. Of course they need downtime but that doesn’t mean loads of screens which is probably the only way to manage and it also shouldn’t be at the expense of your jobs (and sanity!). And most kids do like camps, especially if you coordinate with school friends.

converseandjeans · 03/10/2022 14:32

I think you need childcare too. It's not fair on the children being stuck home all week, you won't be reliably able to concentrate on your work & it's going to be exhausting trying to entertain children who have been stuck in all day once you finish work.

Could you use a childminder? You might find that cheaper.

LegoFiends · 03/10/2022 14:34

If both parents are working from home and both with flexible working hours you could have one working 6–12 and the other 12–6pm, six days a week.

daisybrown37 · 03/10/2022 14:35

I do this - but mine are 12 and 9. I also work in a business connected to education, so we are quieter during the holidays. It would not have worked when they were younger or if I had more meetings/ deadlines.

NoSquirrels · 03/10/2022 14:35

Bluevelvetcake2 · 03/10/2022 14:23

Interesting, responses overwhelmingly suggest it isn’t a good idea. Fair enough.

I thought kids might find it exhausting to be doing active things all the time and some down time over the holidays at home would be good but I’m probably wrong about that.

The thing is, downtime would be good and it does feel a bit rubbish to essentially have them on a ‘school schedule’ during the holidays.

But young kids don’t do downtime in a sit-quietly-amuse-yourself way. They’ll interrupt, get bored, need squabbles sorting and snacks and meals making and clearing up from and have too much screen time and then get fractious and get no exercise and…

If you can regularly have a weekend day when you don’t supervise the children from 9-12 and 1-5, with big chunks of concentration time where you focus on a task away from them, then you can confidently do a day or so in the holidays. Even if you can do one day, multiple days on the trot is another matter.

Dixiechickonhols · 03/10/2022 14:37

Bluevelvetcake2 · 03/10/2022 14:23

Interesting, responses overwhelmingly suggest it isn’t a good idea. Fair enough.

I thought kids might find it exhausting to be doing active things all the time and some down time over the holidays at home would be good but I’m probably wrong about that.

Do a mix so say out of 5 weeks hols - 1 week away, 1 week at home/day trips and 3 weeks clubs. Try a mix of clubs.
It’s usually cheaper to do 5 days in a club plus lots of the activity ones build up to awards or a show on a Friday. If it’s daily type then use 3 or 4 days and have a day or two at home.
Remember lots of weekly activities stop in hols so no dancing class, brownies etc.

daisybrown37 · 03/10/2022 14:38

I should add to my other post, is that we still take annual leave at different times, so thé days they are purely at home are not that many and mainly just the summer holidays.

Dixiechickonhols · 03/10/2022 14:40

If they’ve done an active club eg football, dance then it’s easy to pick up at 3 and let them watch tv so you can work - they’ll be tired.

Jackiebrambles · 03/10/2022 14:42

Mine are 7 and 9 now and I can get away with wfh with them here for maybe a couple of half days, possibly a whole one.

But honestly it makes me feel like crap as they are just on screens/bored or making a total mess! So I book them into holiday clubs, I only work 4 days a week so I often take leave for a day, then they just have 3 days of holiday clubs.

Original poster
Bluevelvetcake2 · 03/10/2022 14:44

I’m basically thinking off what a previous poster said about having to be on a school schedule on holidays. I think I would have hated that and I know I valued my time away from school and being able to relax at home. But my memories will be from being older. I can’t remember now what I would have felt at from the ages of 5-10!

OP posts:
OperaStation · 03/10/2022 14:50

No. You’re being paid to do your job, not to look after your young children. Imagine how your child free colleagues would feel if they found out you were “working” while your kids were at home.

sheepdogdelight · 03/10/2022 14:51

Bluevelvetcake2 · 03/10/2022 14:23

Interesting, responses overwhelmingly suggest it isn’t a good idea. Fair enough.

I thought kids might find it exhausting to be doing active things all the time and some down time over the holidays at home would be good but I’m probably wrong about that.

Downtime is important. I'd suggest not booking whole weeks of holiday club but breaking it up with days of leave here and there (both parents - you say "we"). Accept that the majority of leave has to be used in school holidays and separately. Or, if you can find half day clubs, that might be a good compromise (and require less leave).

I'd also suggest when they are young that you don't go so much for the activity clubs but the ones where it's more relaxed and you can play with different things as you like. Unless your child is up for something more adventurous, of course.

NoSquirrels · 03/10/2022 14:51

The thing is, if you want them to be able to relax at home, and you want to not be stressed to the max, you or another adult need to be off work and supervising their down time at home.

Long summer holidays we usually do

  • 1 week holiday camp
  • 1 week DH off work for days out/play date hosting
  • 1 week family holiday
  • 1 week me off work (& often with their cousins staying for most or part of it)
  • 1 week kids staying with their cousins for most or part of it; me or DH PT odd days if needed
  • 1 week DH & me PT odd days & grandparents & maybe play date swaps etc