To not let DS meet up with someone online?

[ladus]

I know these days teens (and some adults) meet each other online etc but I can't help but be a bit concerned.

DS is 17, he has ADHD and suspected autism which makes him vulnerable. He's said he's been texting a boy (16) on Instagram since about July and they're now good friends, and this boy has listened to everything DS has to say and he seems to understand him, DS wants to meet him. My issue is this boy only has 1 picture of himself on his instagram and he doesn't look 16 at all, they've never called but DS has said this doesn't matter as they've texted nearly everyday since July.

I've said no to them meeting just yet but I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing.

AIBU?

YANBU. Catfishing is a massive problem and adults often pretend to be children.

The simple answer to this is to suggest a video call. If the ‘friend’ doesn’t want to do it or makes excuses, you have your answer.

Of course you don't refuse, he'll just do it anyway, loads of people meet people they met online, hell I even met a mumsnetter in a coffee shop that I had only texted with. You teach him how to do it safely and you go along for support in the background. He could be on tinder for all you know in another year.

I don’t want to scare you, but I’m going to share something and I’m going to change some details so i can’t be identified, but I’m a TA at an SEN school.
one of our sixth formers who was very vulnerable met another boy online, I can’t remember if they met, but they exchanged pictures- nudes.
The boy who he met online ended up trying to blackmail our student with the pictures. As our student was so vulnerable and didn’t know to ask for help and was feeling desperate he took his own life.
I realise that’s extreme, however your son is vulnerable and the most precious thing in your life- please do everything you can to protect him. Meeting another boy and establishing a relationship in real life is one thing, but this online friendship has alarm bells written all over it

Dd always has an online call with anyone she meets on Tinder before she'll meet in person so she can see them first and is then happy they are who they say they are.

I would insist he does this first before meeting in person.