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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave their dog at home?

60 replies

Rubywoo97 · 02/10/2022 07:53

DP and I have bought and renovated our first house-a gorgeous period property- it's finally finished and parents are visiting today for lunch. We have spent a great deal of time and money making it perfect and like it to be immaculate- we are childfree and have no pets. My parents have a large dog who we love to bits (think German Shepherd size) but he is extremely excitable and my parents never bothered to train him from when he was a puppy. This has resulted in jumping up, excessive scrounging at the table and barking if he's not fed from the table. He also barks loudly and climbs on furniture. I spoke to them on the phone yesterday and they announced they are bringing him. I said that this won't be possible but that we were looking forward to seeing them all. My dad got defensive and they basically persuaded me into letting them bring him saying they can't leave him alone for more than a few hours. I'm a little annoyed that they just assumed they could bring him and pushing for it when I said no. AIBU?

OP posts:

Longdarkcloud · 02/10/2022 14:36

For future use organise a convenient save area in your yard or garage or else they can leave him in their car.

paintitallover · 03/10/2022 10:41

I don't understand why people seem to find it so hard to train their dog properly. I don't have one myself, so it's easy for me to say that. But it should surely be possible. YANBU

mountainsunsets · 03/10/2022 12:36

paintitallover · 03/10/2022 10:41

I don't understand why people seem to find it so hard to train their dog properly. I don't have one myself, so it's easy for me to say that. But it should surely be possible. YANBU

People are bothered by different things which I think is part of the problem when it comes to training. I'm happy to have my dog on furniture for example, so I've never bothered to try and keep him off it. Other people would be bothered and so would train it out of their dog.

There are also some problems that can never be fully trained out of a dog - things like separation anxiety in clingy breeds, herding behaviour in collies or barking in terriers.

So what some people describe as bad behaviour, other people would call a breed trait.

Aggypanthus · 03/10/2022 12:38

I'm a dog owner. I love my two girls and treat them like they are my children.
My daughter has moved into a new house and I would not dream of taking the dogs there. It would be insulting and rude to do so and I know she would not appreciate it.

gatehouseoffleet · 03/10/2022 12:42

Blinkingheckythump · 02/10/2022 08:01

I voted yabu simply because you said he couldn't come and didn't stick with it

This, why did you let your people pleasing (because that's what it is) get the better of you.

Your house, your rules, but then I would have no difficulty telling someone their dog didn't come into my house as I don't like dogs. And if my family put a dog above me, well so be it. Fortunately my mum shares my views and finds dogs as annoying and ubiquitous as I do, so that's not a problem!

surely posters can appreciate that people who have pets have a responsibility to make sure they are safe? And you can't leave a dog for longer then four hours ideally

People should consider the dog care issues before they have them and not impose them on everyone else because they were too stupid to consider their needs beforehand

Gerwurtztraminer · 03/10/2022 13:13

Can you borrow a dog crate (a very large one) and set him up in the lounge or kitchen?

Or if there is a room (utility if you have one) where he can be confined by a tall babygate, as it's less likely to cause issues than a fully shut door, ideally where he can still see you all. Or put him in the small garden and if it's raining just wipe his feet off thoroughly before he walks on any carpet if he needs to go through the house to get to/from it.

But yes you should have stuck to your guns and said no.

thenewduchessoflapland · 03/10/2022 15:05

You're parents are irresponsible;I know someone like them;they've never trained any of their dogs and the things rule the roost;they have to take them everywhere with them otherwise they will chew the house and contents to bits.They refuse to crate train them either to prevent this.

I bet your parents don't have dog guard or travel crate in the car either like the person I know.

thing47 · 03/10/2022 15:16

Dog-free house here, DH doesn't particularly like them and also we have cats, one of which is quite nervous and we wouldn't see her for weeks if we let a dog in the house. Some friends with a dog came over last week and we all stayed in the garden, which worked out OK. Then we all went to a pub for lunch (I had researched dog-friendly pubs, I'm not a complete monster 😂). No dramas, no moaning and the house is still in good shape…

Grimchmas · 07/12/2022 23:24

"YANBU for not wanting the dog in your house but YABU for not having discussed this with them earlier."

This.

Go for a pub lunch in a dog friendly pub or something.

wetotter · 07/12/2022 23:30

YABU for giving them less than a days notice that they are not to bring the dog.

You can't just rustle up a dog sitter on that sort notice, and they are entirely correct that you should not leave a dog for more than 4 hours.

It's fine for you to have a no dogs rule. But not fine to spring it on them like that

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