To think school shouldn’t have left out 8 kids?

[CoffeeHousePot]

My DS goes to an independent primary school (all boys). He’s in Y 4. Rugby is a big thing at the school. My DS’s year is small 26 kids in 2 classes. They are split into three teams A, B and C based on ability. There are 8 kids in Team C. Ds is one of them. I’ve no issue with that.

Today on WhatsApp/Instagram are pictures of a rugby tournament run by the school (7 a side). They’ve invited other schools. Only Teams A and B were invited. So 8 children out of the year were not.

I just don’t think this is on. Given it was a weekend I imagine some children would not have been able to come, surely they could have rejigged the teams with a few subs on each team and everyone could have been invited? I just think they are 8/9 and to leave less then a 1/3 of the year out is mean. Fair enough if the year was bigger, but surely when you get to the point less then 1/2 kids won’t be invited you look to try and include everyone?

There’s plenty of time for the less sporty kids not to be selected why do it so early? My son is not as good as the most able kids, but it’s not the stage where it’s obvious. .

My DH however thinks it’s fine (he was good at rugby). You can’t be expected to be selected for everything. His view is if the kids aren’t good enough then they will be demoralised playing against more able kids.

So:

YABU - school should not have left out the C Team/should have rejigged to include everyone.
YANBU - it was fine. You can’t expect kids to be selected for everything/would be unfair to make C team players be subs for B team.

If you're worried that he'll take away from it that he's "crap" at rugby by not being asked then he's far more likely to take that from playing in a tournament and being beaten badly by all comers-which if all other schools are only bringing their A or B teams is a possibility.

I'd also suspect that some of team C would be delighted that they weren't playing. My dbro hated rugby. I think he was one of 3 boys that didn't get into the A,B,C or D team, and he was delighted. Several members of the C and D team were very envious too.

I play a competitive sport (not rugby) and playing out of your league either up or down isn't fun. I'd rather have a really good match and lose than a walkover I won.

You start contact rugby from year 4 in the UK. I'm looking at a picture now of 8 year old DS in a scrum cap with a gum shield popping out of his mouth running for a try. He wasn't 9 till after Christmas.

If they all went then maybe some in the B team i wouldn't be very happy with stronger players being subs for A team ane being replaced with C team players and subs.

I think there are negatives in any situation if 3 teams and they cant all go. I would hope they prioritise c team for next tournament.

I think the issue here sounds like poor communication rather than the actual decision. Probably if you had known what was going on, what the rationale for selection was etc it would have been fine. But unless I have misunderstood, it sounds like you didn't know the event was even happening until you saw the photos. In the great scheme of things it's not that important but it still hurts.It's a bit like seeing photos of a party on social media and realising your child didn't get an invitation, or something like that I guess. None of us likes to see our child excluded from things do we? I think I might have felt a bit upset too even though none of my children liked rugby and in reality I would have been fed up about having to disrupt our weekend to go!
I think there is a fine line to walk when it comes to children's sports. On one hand there does need to be a focus on particpation and encouraging healthy lifestyles but on the other, competitive sport is, by it's very nature, not fully inclusive and I don't think the "everyone's a winner" ethos really does anyone any favours. Schools are a bit damned if they do, damned if they don't when it comes to sport. I don't think excluding 8 pupils is unreasonable. Missing out one or two would be, but a third of the class isn't. I also don't think it would have been unreasonable if the school had opted to allow anyone who wanted to play to have a go either. There's pros and cons to either approach.I think their failing if there is one is allowing the situation whereby the non selected children's parents could find out basically by accident. I suspect that makes it seem like a bigger issue than it really is.

rugby for 8 year old is non-contact, they're not 'going in for tackles'.

This is untrue. Year 4/under 9s is the year contact starts. My kids have all played rugby for clubs and school.

The 8 year old absolutely do go all in for some horrifically hard tackles.

I’m sorry but this is rubbish.

I went state and was shite at netball and didn’t make the team. They also had a football team who my ex was the star player and he would get out of detention to play in matches as they wanted to win!

My kids go private and even though my kids are not in sports teams I know they compete against the other school teams ( state and private) and it’s VERY competitive. Even at primary level.

sigh - any reason to have a dig at private school 😂

And most schools really don’t have a ‘C’ team. Maybe there wasn’t anyone for them to play fairly.

I agree with the OP. Sport at primary age should be about opportunities for all, and tournaments are usually called "festivals" because they are not about competition/winning/losing- more about opportunities for all.
Quite quickly, in a competitive environment like this, children get to know who is good at sport and who isn't, and whilst it might encourage a small number to seek to improve so they are next picked, the majority switch off/give up. What a shame that the message those children are getting is "you aren't good enough". Common at club-level, but in school this isn't the message we want our children to hear.

We can't all be hosan. It's a lesson of life. Your son will no doubt be chosen for something else. Don't make a big deal.of it

@MrsAvocet you have summed up my feelings far better then I have. Didn’t know at all. So it was literally photos on Instagram and then a few parents going “when was this?” Probably in a panic they had missed something (like I was thinking).

We have class and school weekly bulletins (with everything on). Class reps - who communicate things. Nothing was on them. So they must have emailed all the parents in A and B teams individually and not the 8 of us with kids in the C team. Normally you get things on the bulletin flagging this up so, “A and B U10s playing on x date please check your emails for permission form).

As I said above there might have been really good reasons (limit on numbers etc), but why not say that and be inclusive? The school hosted the event. They could have said if any child in the C team wanted to come and support/help out with keeping score they would be more then welcome.

By year 4 it was up to the kids to check the team-lists noticeboard or parents to look online at the secure part of the website. Do you have a calendar showing school events including inter school matches and tournaments as these are arranged well in advance,

I was the only person in my whole ywear not allowed in the choir, I admit I have the worlds worse voice but surely they could have let me mime. Not that I'm at all bitter 55 years later!!

If my school had had this system, in any given sport I would have been in the C team. Frankly, I would have been delighted not to have to flog out at the weekend to play a sport I wasn't good at or to sit on the subs' bench all afternoon.

I suspect it will be because of the ‘half game rule’. If you take a player at age grade level, the school must let them play at least half of the available playing time. If they could only submit 2 squads, they need to ensure the squads are small enough that each child gets enough play time.

15.12 Half Game Rule
15.12.1 Other than set out in Regulation 15.12.2, all clubs, teams, schools and colleges must ensure that each player selected in every match day squad plays at least half of the Available Playing Time. This requirement is mandatory across the entire age grade game and in respect of all contact and non-contact age grade matches, including 7 a-side matches and festivals/tournament matches.

Check your spam folder, check your sons school bag and blazer for that elusive invite. Otherwise shine a light in your sons face and get him to admit the truth.

Either the teacher made a throwaway comment of please come and watch and your kid zoned out or the teacher didn't want them supporting as he probably feels like the parents will dump and run and he can't supervise stray kids as well as the competition.

You are being that parent. Let it go. Not all kids are equal. Not everything has to be inclusive. Let your husband teach your child how to be more resilient than his mother.

I do agree the communication has been a bit shit though and I can understand that it stings a bit. Your suggestion about giving the C team the option of going along to support/help out would have been good.

Ime many sports (eg football) start to be competitive from Year 3.

I would have been surprised to hear about the event after it happened but my first thought would be that other schools might only have a A and B team so C aren't invited. It's not like 8yo are on Instagram so would see the pics. Plus there will be C Team kids who would be relieved to skip the event.