Do you pay a babysitter if you cancel them with less than 24 hours notice?

[OneDayIWillDivorceHim]

DH not feeling well and now doesn't want to go out on long planned night out with me and our friends.

He stayed up till 3am last night gaming but sure

We have a part time nanny and she was meant to be babysitting for us this weekend and now isn't needed. She's meant to arrive at 5pm today.

Do I offer still to pay her? She may have turned down other babysitting work to cover us. I'm not sure.

Yep, I will be paying her @Senseofsomething

Contact Women's aid for support because you are in an abusive relationship.

You sound so ground down.
Can you get some counselling?

Reach out to family and friends with the truth for support.

Start quietly planning.

You are stuck now but don't always have to be.

Start planning your escape.

Yes I would pay her tbh not her fault and she could've refused invitations to keep day free for you

He is absolutely awful.

Get rid asap.

@billy1966 Sometimes it feels like i don't stand a chance. Just now Dh has taken DS swimming. Big song and dance. OTT kissing and cuddling from DH to DS while glaring at me

I get baby down for nap and start trying to sort myself out. Baby starts screaming 10 mins later. Now stuck in a dark room with a fussy baby pulling and grabbing my boobs crying. I can't get him to stop breastfeeding. He's 13 months. He feeds and screams constantly.

I just want to be left alone. I feel so suffocated.

@billy1966 yes started counselling. She's helpful. I think.

That sounds so hard.

Can you bundle the baby into a buggy and go for a walk and ring a friend or family for a chat and support?

Well done for starting counselling, that is a great move.

Don't pretend to friends tonight everything is fine.

Don't protect him.

Tell them the truth.

You owe him nothing.

Certainly not loyalty.

Abuse hides in the shadows.

If you get a chance to confide in friends do.

It will be an absolute relief.

I just left the house and he didn't look up from his phone. I said "goodbye then"

He said "I don't want to look at you. I'm so angry at you. Being woken up this morning to all your unnecessary bullshit"

I can't get a cab home tonight in our town from my friends as everything is booked because of the train strike. My friend said just stay the night and go back in the morning. I am so tempted but I'm also uneasy leaving my DC overnight. That's why I feel like I can't divorce him. Sometimes I feel like I don't know him or trust him at all. It's unnerving. maybe paranoid. I know family courts make dodgy decisions too. I don't think he'd hurt them but I just worry he might run off with them. I'm being an idiot. I hate this so much. He would be stunned to know that I think like this but I think he's got some very strange thought patterns sometimes

Perhaps not for a neighbor teen earning some pocket money, though if the sitter is in high demand and you want to book in the future I would pay the cost of a couple hours as a gesture of goodwill.

Your nanny needs to be paid regardless.

Your husband is not going to ‘run off’ from his own home with his children. Stop it.

Go out, have a nice time, stay over at your friend’s, tell said friend what is happening. Come home and tell him you will no longer be taking his shit. Then stop taking his shit.

You are not a passenger in your own life. You have agency. Stop just letting your life happen to you.

Agree with this.

Stay out and enjoy yourself and tell those friends the truth.