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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you all how the hell I can sort my house out?

58 replies

Ostryga · 01/10/2022 00:04

I’m going to start this off with saying I have diagnosed adhd and I’m currently unmedicated.

I am the queen of never, ever asking for help and pretending everything is fine and never telling anyone what is going on. I still can’t tell people close to me what the problems are but I’m starting somewhere.

I’m embarrassed and really ashamed. Im so disorganised and untidy and whilst DD’s bedroom is lovely my room and the rest of the house is just clutter and crap everywhere.

I feel sick to my stomach posting this but I have got to do something and maybe even the viper nest telling me I’m awful will be the kick up the bum. Im just so stuck with where to start and it’s immediately overwhelming I don’t know what to do anymore.

OP posts:
SlashBeef · 01/10/2022 12:43

Joining because same! I currently cant let my kids have playdates because I'm embarrassed. Let's do it together!

ChampagneCamping · 01/10/2022 12:44

Use Marie kondo method. Google her. Worked for me and my adhd

BatshitBanshee · 01/10/2022 12:45

SlashBeef · 01/10/2022 12:43

Joining because same! I currently cant let my kids have playdates because I'm embarrassed. Let's do it together!

This is a great idea!!! Body doubling works for ADHD brains, I do so much better when I'm doing housework jobs with my husband or talking to friends! Partnering up with someone else could work for you too OP.

ASimpleLampoon · 01/10/2022 13:01

Th Ceres a lovely Facebook group called Neurodivergent Cleaning Crew. Non judgemental and so helpful . Really helped me.

ThreeblackCats · 01/10/2022 13:02

Tackle one room at a time.

be ruthless, if it doesn’t fit, is never used etc, bin or donate.

invest in lots and lots of storage solutions. I recommend IKEA.

get everyone to do their share, even a toddler can learn ‘tidy up time’ and put toys in a crate or wicker basket.

do at least one load of laundry every day.

if a job is less than 5 minutes, do it as soon as you see it.

commit to 30 minutes every evening or morning (or whenever fits your routine) of cleaning and tidying. It will make a huge difference.

learn to cheat, I know if my sitting room feels a mess, a buzz around with the vacuum makes it feel 100% better, where as the same amount of time dusting doesn’t make the room feel any better. Same with the kitchen, wipe the worktops sweep the floor and it immediately feels and looks better. A quick spray and wipe of the wash basin and loo can pass as daily cleaning.

can you afford an hour or two of a cleaner?

Put on your favourite music, there’s even uplifting ‘housework tunes’ on YouTube. Cleaning to your favourite music really doesn’t seem so bad once you hit your stride.

Marie Kondo really sums up decluttering….if it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it.

Dont live your life expecting your home to look like Mrs. Hinch or Stacey Solomons, real homes sometimes have mess.

when my girls were small and messy, my friend Toni and I used to do housework together. She’d spend an hour at mine doing menial tasks like folding laundry or wiping the counters whilst I was stripping my bed or scrubbing the shower, then I’d help her the next day doing similarly easy jobs at her home. Somehow doesn’t seem so bad when you’re doing it with someone else.

finally, YouTube has loads of great organisational/motivational cleaning type videos.

Don’t forget, declutter. Be ruthless. All the best of luck, you can do this.

LostMyUserName · 02/10/2022 14:57

The only thing that helps me is working with someone else.

Interesting@ThreeblackCats mentions doing housework with a friend. I’d love to find someone who would be up for working together on both our houses.

Pinktrews77 · 02/10/2022 15:34

I identify with so much on this thread including the dc who tidy up by dumping everything they don’t want on to the landing!

I second the point, for me, about it being more important that my bedroom, clothes and laundry are in order, not the kitchen so much!

I also agree that although podcasts, websites and you tube videos can be inspiring, don’t let them become a substitute for doing the actual work!

TravelSized · 02/10/2022 18:07

I want a friend like Toni, that is a lovely picture! Smile
Good luck with this everyone. If it helps to post any successes you’ve had on here, then do that too.
I’m trying to focus on getting in smaller regular tidy ups- instead of my usual boom and bust approach, but less angst and pressure for me that way.

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