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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I wouldn't be overreacting if I took DS to A&E?

203 replies

kege · 30/09/2022 23:13

DS is 17, he struggles a lot every winter with illnesses etc, he has ARFID which makes getting vitamins etc into him harder, he's supposed to take a vitamin supplement but I've tried everything dietician has suggested to give it to him but he knows and it makes him vomit.

He's been unwell since Monday although he seems to have gotten worse the past few days, on Wednesday night I was working and he refused to have any dinner and was in bed for about 6:30/7 DP says, I woke him up when I got home and gave him calpol as he had a temp and he threw it up not long after and went back to bed until 10am yesterday when he got up took his meds and went back to sleep and was asleep on and off all day, I tried to give him some toast last night, he took 1 bite and was nearly sick again. He was asleep early again last night and woke up today at about 12 and hes not had much to drink today apart from a bottle of water and a can of fanta (not ideal but I use this as a bribe for his meds) he seems very lethargic and is complaining he feels sick as he has what seems to be a chesty cough and he just looks poorly in his eyes etc.

DP has said I'm overreacting and to let him sleep as much as he wants as he'll sleep it off etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
kege · 30/09/2022 23:38

He doesnt have a temp anymore but he is complaining of a headache but I can't give him calpol as it says don't use for more than 3 days and I was giving it him on Monday and Tuesday for a headache. I gave him a covid test on Wednesday and it was negative. I've offered him another drink and he said he doesn't want it. I think the not eating is making him feel more unwell but he has said he doesn't want anything.

OP posts:
vipersnest1 · 30/09/2022 23:40

@ThanksAntsThants, no, I don't. As the parent of a DC who ended up having their appendix surgically removed after a very long wait, I know it was worth it to get them seen and treated.
I took them one evening, ultimately sent home with a supposed UTI. We were back again the next morning and it took 11 hours for them to diagnose appendicitis.
I'm curious as to how you know OP's DS can wait to be seen and treated?
IME, there is always a long wait at A&E, but if you are unwell enough, you are prepared to wait as it is necessary.

Explaintome · 30/09/2022 23:41

Personally I'd give calpol/paracetamol for another couple of days if he needs it.

Punxsutawney · 30/09/2022 23:41

Your post reads as if he is 7 years old

I'm guessing you are not familiar with ARFID and the significant issues it causes around food intake?

TrashyPanda · 30/09/2022 23:42

I’d give him calpol too.

TrashyPanda · 30/09/2022 23:43

Punxsutawney · 30/09/2022 23:41

Your post reads as if he is 7 years old

I'm guessing you are not familiar with ARFID and the significant issues it causes around food intake?

I was thinking the same.

ARFID is a serious illness

ThanksAntsThants · 30/09/2022 23:44

I’m curious to know why you’ve decided I’ve told the OP not to take him. If you could quote the specific bit where I did that I’d be most grateful for the clarification.

Skelligsfeathers · 30/09/2022 23:45

Right ok....i understand about the calpol i guess.
I think he is 17 and has a bug. If he wants to sleep, let him sleep. Make sure there is his preferred drink to hand- be that tango ir whatever. ( why are you using tango as a bribe? If he wants tango let him have it!)

Does he have special needs?

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/09/2022 23:45

vipersnest1 · 30/09/2022 23:22

@ThanksAntsThants, how is that helpful?
OP, if you think he needs A&E, take him. If he's seriously unwell, he will be seen quickly.

It's Friday night, we are busy, it's not an accident or an emergency. 111 would be a better option

ThanksAntsThants · 30/09/2022 23:46

Sorry, quote fail. My above post was in response to vipersnest1

LittleBearPad · 30/09/2022 23:47

If he’s got a headache give him more paracetamol. It sounds like a bug.

MbatataOwl · 30/09/2022 23:47

I'm guessing you are not familiar with ARFID and the significant issues it causes around food intake?

I am and it doesn't change my response.

JustBkind · 30/09/2022 23:49

Keep giving calpol, I’m not sure what the three day rule is about but I’ve given my daughter calpol over serveral days before if she has needed it. Hope he feels better soon.

Punxsutawney · 30/09/2022 23:49

It's Friday night, we are busy, it's not an accident or an emergency

For a young person with ARFID who is very underweight, it could be an emergency.

vipersnest1 · 30/09/2022 23:49

ThanksAntsThants · 30/09/2022 23:20

Do you think 15 hours in A&E will help him?

This (despite you not bothering to tag me). Your post implied that OP shouldn't take him. If it's a 15 hour wait, it is. But, more serious cases will be dealt with more quickly.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/09/2022 23:50

OO request an out of hours Drs home visit, in fact insist on it. If he has been unwell all week, why have you not got him seen to sooner?

Potato28 · 30/09/2022 23:53

You can give calpol for more than 3 days

vipersnest1 · 30/09/2022 23:54

@KalvinPhillipsBoots, did you actually bother to read my most recent post?
I think not. But hey, go ahead and offload your angst from the week on me.
It's not like I have a sibling who works in health care or anything, so what would I know? Hmm

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/09/2022 23:54

I presume at 17 he is is able to decide for himself what he wants to do. And I am going to disagree, he has been like this all week. Suddenly at 11PM at night you are now concerned enough to do something about it?

Ring 111 that's what they are there for.

slowquickstep · 30/09/2022 23:55

Calpol ! Why on earth are you giving a near grown man Calpol ?

Mamai90 · 30/09/2022 23:55

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/09/2022 23:22

I’d avoid a&e unless I or a loved one was in serious danger. Call 111 and you might get an out of ours GP, possibly at the hospital if they have one, tonight or tomorrow. Even that will be rammed and grim. If he’s weeing and not dehydrated I’d review in the morning.

Sometimes it's impossible to tell. Friend was having bad headaches and describing some 'funny turns'. Nearly had to be marched to the GP, be was reluctant because he felt it wasn't serious enough to needed be seen turns out he had a bleed on the brain they asked him why in hell he hadn't seeked medical assistance.

I wouldn't risk anything with my DC. As long as you're not idiotic enough to turn up to A&E with a sore throat etc I think if you have serious concerns it's always better to be seen, my sister is a nurse and I would usually run most stuff past her but her advice would be the same.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/09/2022 23:57

vipersnest1 · 30/09/2022 23:54

@KalvinPhillipsBoots, did you actually bother to read my most recent post?
I think not. But hey, go ahead and offload your angst from the week on me.
It's not like I have a sibling who works in health care or anything, so what would I know? Hmm

No but I'm an A&E nurse who knows this is not the right place for him to be. It's not an Accident or an Emergency, he been all week, try accessing the right kind of care instead of getting to 11 PM on a Friday night. But you would know that wouldn't you ? Biscuit

NoSquirrels · 30/09/2022 23:58

I can't give him calpol as it says don't use for more than 3 days and I was giving it him on Monday and Tuesday for a headache

Do you think this advice is aimed at 17 year olds? I think paracetamol is OK in the correct dose over much longer periods than 3 days.

48 hours of feeling off and not eating much seems within normal parameters to me. I wouldn’t panic if it was my teen. But if you have a gut reaction he’s not well you should act.

cooolio · 30/09/2022 23:58

Well he can have calpol although an alternative might be better since he'd have to down half the bottle to get near enough the dose a man needs. I can't believe he's that poorly and you're withholding paracetamol tbh.

And bribing him with Fanta at 17? Surely it's up to him what he drinks?

To answer your question A&E would be an overreaction yes. Give him some paracetamol and lucozade and let the lad sleep it off.

Mamai90 · 30/09/2022 23:59

slowquickstep · 30/09/2022 23:55

Calpol ! Why on earth are you giving a near grown man Calpol ?

I thought the same? Sorry I'm unfamiliar with his illness so not trying to be rude but I had to reread he wasn't 17 months when you said calpol.

I started using adult pain killers when I was 12. I thought that was the norm, I wouldn't expect calpol to suffice for a 17 year old but again if it's to do with his illness then I apologise.