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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just DS (15) in bed with GF (14)

38 replies

CoolieLoachie · 30/09/2022 16:05

Came home unexpectedly. Caught them in the act, used no protection. GF has fled in embarrassment.

Not sure what to do now

OP posts:
FluffySocksAndHotChocolate · 30/09/2022 16:08

I'd be telling your son to make her get to the chemist fast for the morning after pill. How irresponsible.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 30/09/2022 16:12

FluffySocksAndHotChocolate · 30/09/2022 16:08

I'd be telling your son to make her get to the chemist fast for the morning after pill. How irresponsible.

Yes this!

Topgub · 30/09/2022 16:12

I'd be speaking to her parents to make sure she gets the MAP.

And find out why your son thought it was appropriate to fuck a 14 yo with no protection

Sceptre86 · 30/09/2022 16:12

Speak to your child and actually find out if they did have sex first. Then speak to her parents. She may want the morning after pill if not on regular contraception already they can have that talk with her and get it arranged. Speak to your son about safe sex and depending on how you want to go about things either buy him some condoms or ban her from being around when you aren't home.

ohforgodssake135 · 30/09/2022 16:12

Hells bells 🤦🏼‍♀️ have you got contact details for her parents? She needs emergency contraception.

Ace56 · 30/09/2022 16:13

How awkward! At least now you know they’re sexually active. You’ll need a big talk about protection and sexual health, whether he likes it or not

Belladonnamama · 30/09/2022 16:14

Wow, not good at all. Do you know the girls parents ? You need to speak to them and your son. This is serious.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/09/2022 16:16

You need to read the riot act to your son and I would forbid any unsupervised visiting for a very long time.

DisappointinglyFlatulent · 30/09/2022 16:17

Careful what you share here Hmm

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/09/2022 16:18

Sceptre86 · 30/09/2022 16:12

Speak to your child and actually find out if they did have sex first. Then speak to her parents. She may want the morning after pill if not on regular contraception already they can have that talk with her and get it arranged. Speak to your son about safe sex and depending on how you want to go about things either buy him some condoms or ban her from being around when you aren't home.

And assume that if he says "No", he's lying.

maddy68 · 30/09/2022 16:18

Yep get her to the pharmacy

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 30/09/2022 16:20

She really needs to get the MAP.

You really need to sit your son down and have a long, hard hitting chat with him.

SerenaTee · 30/09/2022 16:21

Topgub · 30/09/2022 16:12

I'd be speaking to her parents to make sure she gets the MAP.

And find out why your son thought it was appropriate to fuck a 14 yo with no protection

You could also ask the 14 YO the same question!

JestersTear · 30/09/2022 16:22

Have a read online about what to do, and perhaps even contact Childline.
I think that because they're both underage there isn't a legal issue as long as everyone gave consent. Don't quote me though.
Either way, a talk has to be had and try not to be too judgemental or harsh as you need him to be able to come to you with questions and concerns.

Topgub · 30/09/2022 16:23

@SerenaTee

The 14 yo isn't her kid

🤷‍♀️

Snoozer11 · 30/09/2022 16:23

Topgub · 30/09/2022 16:12

I'd be speaking to her parents to make sure she gets the MAP.

And find out why your son thought it was appropriate to fuck a 14 yo with no protection

Do girls have no agency all of a sudden? How very 1950s.

Not the first time this has happened, definitely won't be the last. Tell her parents and have a word about condoms.

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/09/2022 16:24

From a safeguarding point of view, you do need to tell her parents, imo.

SerenaTee · 30/09/2022 16:27

Topgub · 30/09/2022 16:23

@SerenaTee

The 14 yo isn't her kid

🤷‍♀️

If I’ve mis-interpreted your post then I hold my hands up, I read it as implying the boy bore more responsibility than the girl to what has happened rather than the assumption that they both thought it was appropriate.

Topgub · 30/09/2022 16:33

No, the boy doesn't bare more responsibility. Unless he coerced her in some way.

Its not the ops place to discuss contraception with her kids 14 yo gf.

Thats her parents job.

Pigsinmuck · 30/09/2022 16:38

Shouting at your son or getting cross isn’t the way to go.

He will have sex with or without your permission. You need to talk to him openly about it and make sure they are being as safe as possible.

I would also speak to her parents and make them aware.

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 30/09/2022 16:43

It’s not ideal but teenagers have sex. They just do. The protection part is a worry, if you know her family could you have wee chat with her Mum about making sure she’s on the pill or similar? And obviously a similar condom chat with your DS - belt and braces and all that! If you don’t want to condone under age sex in your home, I understand because I’d feel the same, but keep in mind that they may just do it elsewhere.

10HailMarys · 30/09/2022 16:47

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Bayleaf25 · 30/09/2022 17:19

I’m sorry but I’d also tell her parents, it’s too big a risk not too - if you leave it to them they might decide not too and an unwanted pregnancy at that age is not worth the risk. Then serious conversations all round about responsibility and birth control.

Murdoch1949 · 30/09/2022 23:46

You need to tell her parents immediately. Hopefully they will take her for emergency contraception, or your son could be facing 18 years of child support. He may get reported to the police as she's so young.

olddustbag · 01/10/2022 00:39

Murdoch1949 · 30/09/2022 23:46

You need to tell her parents immediately. Hopefully they will take her for emergency contraception, or your son could be facing 18 years of child support. He may get reported to the police as she's so young.

They are the same age (14 and just 15) and both under 16
No-one is being reported to the police
Calm down.