Just DS (15) in bed with GF (14)

[CoolieLoachie]

Came home unexpectedly. Caught them in the act, used no protection. GF has fled in embarrassment.

Not sure what to do now

Echoing what everyone else is saying. Put all embarrassment and judgment aside. Tell her parents ASAP … The girl needs emergency contraception, also be aware that the morning after pill isn’t effective if she is already ovulating (one of my friends learnt this the hard way). It works by delaying ovulation. So she will still need to do a pregnancy test just to make sure…

The other form of emergency contraception I know of is the coil I think… However I don’t know this is ideal for a 14 year old girl. Then again teen pregnancy is not ideal either, and a coil might be less traumatic then going through with pregnancy or an abortion at 14.

I hope you act quickly OP, sorry this must be really stressful. I’m not a parent but I have teenage niece and nephew and I along with the rest of the family have drilled it into them the importance of safe sex.

ok but firstly How did you know there was no contraception?

what did ya just zoom on in there and stare directly at his boy bits and see he didn't have one on, did you do some pelvic examination on the girlfriend that she wasn't wearing diaphragm or hormonal ring?

did you check her for IUDs or the implant in her arm, she may even recieve the pill or Depo shots.

How can you be absolutely sure none of the above isn't in place? perhaps she uses a different form of Birth control because she's allergic to latex, if you didn't see a condom.

A CONDOM IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF PROTECTION!!!!!!!

Don’t want to add to your woes, but this may not be the first time either!

If you lose your shit and shout like some of these posts suggest then your son is never going to be able to talk to you about these things. Make sure appropriate follow up has been taken to safeguard against pregnancy and then have an open and honest conversation with your boy about your worries and why this can’t happen right now. Shaming him or making him feel that he’s disappointed you is going to impact how he sees sex forever.

How do you know they weren't using protection?! You must have had a very close-up view.

There is a point that if it’s going to happen in some ways it’s better they do it in your home than round the back of Lidl etc. Maybe that’s something to consider in how you address this.

Speak to them about the becessity of condoms, how it's against the law, to ds about how not to pressure his gf into sex. Plenty to say I would imagine. I had similar and spoke to them straight away but it's not an unusual situation where teenagers are concerned.

So is he 🙄

You saw that no condom was being used? While they were in bed?

First off, I wouldn’t speak to the girls parents. This was me when I was a teen, I was beaten black and blue and thrown out of the house by my very “nice” and lovey to other people on the outside parents. You never know what parents are actually like behind closed doors. My life was ruined, I am still feeling the fallout of those years in my 40s, and we hadn’t actually had sex.

I know it’s difficult and my experience clouds things for me, but you just don’t know what her parents are like and how they will handle it.

I have a 20 year old son myself. I haven’t had such a situation so I don’t know what I would have done. I wouldn’t have blown up at him though, I know he wouldn’t have trusted me again if I did.

Sorry not much help I know. I just wanted to put my experience out there re the girls parents.

To the people rushing to get a 14 year old girl on the pill, or have a coil inserted (ouch for many women, months of pain and bleeding for many women, no anaesthesia for most women!), it’s disappointing!

Yes we have agency and unfortunately the contraceptives we have are invasive. The pill can increase your likelihood of certain cancers, blood clots, not to mention mood swings, unwanted weight gain and the affect on gut health… Barrier methods are the methods that protect against pregnancy AND STIs.

they are NOT invasive or painful for 15 year old boys ffs.

Nobody is rushing to get the girl on the pill or have a coil fitted
But I think emergency contraception is sensible ,nobody wants a teen pregnancy.

What a long nasty snarky reply to the OP where you've massively stressed the point that condoms are not the only protection.

The OP used the word protection and not condom.

You're castigating the OP for making assumptions when it's you making the assumptions.

Unnecessary.