I have no idea if "most" do.
I know many, many, many women who don't.

Like anything, people turn to forums for help when something isn't going well. Nobody write articles / books / makes TV progs / joins support groups / starts threads to say "I'm tootling along fine thanks. No issues here"

I'm 52, and apart from a few missed periods here and there (which I presume is the start of it, as I was regular before), I have not experienced anything bad. I do not read any articles on the menopause, because I don't want to imagine things are happening because I read that they would!

I don't know anyone who has had severe symptoms IRL. I've had virtually none.

I'm nearly 51.
Apart from having awful monthly migraines, which I get prescription meds from the dr for, I feel fine
I'm a bit more tired but also have a baby grandson so could be down to him!!

Something like half of women have no or mild symptoms, probably at most 1 in 4 have bad symptoms

I had no symptoms at all. Gradually periods got lighter and further apart until around 55 I realised I hadn’t had a period for a year. No symptoms since, either.

The first signs I had, looking back, was massive PMT and periods getting closer together.

I’ve had a medical menopause at 39. Honestly, it’s been horrific. For me, one of the worst symptoms has been sleep disruption, anxiety attacks at 2am and not being able to get back to sleep. I’ve gone from being confident and well respected in my profession to having to write lists about lists and sending messages to myself due to brain fog, constantly thinking I’m
going to lose my job when they realise I’m
now a complete buffoon.
The hot flushes aren’t too bad, I’ve spent most of my life morning about being cold so to feel a bit warmer is not too unpleasant 😂

I have had horrible symptoms - mainly low mood related and insomnia. I have had some disruption to my periods too I in the similar way to you OP but the Dr won’t prescribe HRT. I’m now 52 and I’ve suffered for about 3 years. My friend has suffered from pretty bad mood related symptoms and was initially prescribed anti depressants. My colleague seems to suffer with the hot flushes but she’s a bit older than me so maybe I have that to look forward to.

Oh and brain fog - horrible brain fog.

I have had gynae issues for years but because I’ve always been slim, kept fit, no alcohol and a good diet all my life etc, I stupidly and very naively believed that I would sail through the menopause.
I’m 49 now and the last 4 years have been just bloody awful. I can literally tick off most of the peri symptoms and feel crap most days.
Yet, I have friends who haven’t looked after themselves at all and sailed through. I don’t think there is any rhyme or reason why some women suffer and some don’t, think it’s just the luck of the draw and I drew out a short straw!
I started to get the awful periods with huge clots. Turned out I had uterine polyps which kept growing back after several hysteroscopies to remove them. I ended up needing an ablation in April and it’s really helped.

Should say the ablation has helped with the heavy periods, sadly not the peri symptoms.

If I'm honest,I'm exactly the same. I'm totally dreading the menopause and I'm convinced I'm going through perimenopause now, even though a private gynaecologist has said otherwise. I had terrible symptoms of a couple of years ago after my 3rd baby was born but unfortunately this was due to me having very low iron ferritin levels. My symptoms were very severe and initially included terrible anxiety, brain fog, tinnitus, gingivitis, depression, and body aches/pain, and severe fatigue.

A lot of these things have cleared up since e I've been taking an iron supplement but I do get much worse PMT symptoms than I ever used to before my last pregnancy, and I seem a lot more sensitive to hormonal fluctuations. My gums get incredibly sore before my period begins every 3 weeks, and my head constantly feels like it is stuffed with cotton wool.

I know a lot of things like this can be to do with deficiencies which do affect hormones too, plus I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome 7 years ago, which could also be a contributing factor too.

But I'm still pretty terrified that my symptoms are going to be much worse by the time I reach menopause. And I will be ultra sensitive to and HRT as I have been a lot more sensitive to medication side effects since I had my movement disorder (caused by some prescribed off label antipsychotic drugs for severe anxiety and insomnia after my head injury).

It all makes me quite depressed to be honest. So sorry to be so depressing, I guess I'm just scared of my brain and body totally going to pot over the next few years. I guess what will be will be.😞

It's extremely individual: I know people who've had debilitating symptoms and others who are post menopause and barely noticed. It's also impossible to predict how it will affect you until it's there.

My symptoms haven't been too bad on the whole (the worst of it has been night sweats and disrupted sleep) and all of them have been totally eliminated by HRT to the point I don't notice them now. HRT really is a game changer for many people. Most of the women I know who are peri are on HRT and many of us swear by it.

Not particularly hard time for me
Sleep has been poor since I hit 50 but you get used to it
Hot flushes don't bother me much
Haven't put any weight on but work hard at that
Can't tolerate alcohol at all which is probably better for me but I miss a wee wine .
Bit of low mood and anxiety during covid but felt very isolated and DD had just left home too.
Sex drive definitely higher now there is no contraception to worry about
No HRT by choice had a breast lump ( cyst in the end) but that scared the hell out of me so decided not to go down that route
Don't buy into the HRT is the only way
I work with a lot of women and can't say those on HRT and those not on it have much difference in symptoms .
I think take it as it comes .

I'm 60 now, and count myself very lucky because menopause has improved my life. I used to have terrible mood swings, awful breast pain and quite heavy periods. Now all of that has gone. I did have hot flushes as my periods gradually tailed off from 45-50 years. A small price to pay. I have friends who have had more symptoms, but nothing that time hasn't cured.

I'm glad this came up, my periods have always been all over the place, they usually las
T 3 days with mild cramping. I'm 41 and my periods last
Maybe 4 now but very heavy.
This morning I was in absolute agony, it started after I ate some crackers and next it felt like 1 continuous labour pain.. My face went chalk white, I started cold sweating and it caused my eye to twitch, when that happens it means I feel faint, I took my time going to the bathroom as pain was agony thinking I was constipated but it wiped me out I went lay down in bedroom.. The cold sweat dripping off me.. I slept for hours, jus
T got up an hour ago to remove my tampon and barlet nothing on it, which is strange as mentioned for firs day of period I'm usually heavy.. I dunno if its perimenopause or what, but I've not felt pain like that since labour actually thought my ovaries where being squeezed

There’s no way of predicting what perimenopause/menopause will look like for you. My sister and I have had wildly different ones.

I had the least problematic periods ever - light, little to zero cramping although my cycle was short on the side at 25 days, but it was regular as clockwork with little to no issues for 25 years. In fact, my periods were the last thing to stop and why several GPs I saw were insistent I wasn’t going through perimenopause despite having pretty much the whole gamut of perimenopause symptoms.

You might be one of the lucky ones who sails through the whole thing, you might be like me and suffer horribly or you might fall somewhere among the spectrum with a handful of issues. All you can really do is listen to your body, do your research so you know what you’re looking out for - not everyone has the classic hot flushes, night sweats, brain fog and insomnia. And while you might skip these, you might have itchy skin, dry mouth, restless legs, anxiety, heart palpations which a GP might not attribute to perimenopause.

For me the process was so incremental that it was hard to identify as perimenopause which is what led to feeling worse over time and acclimatising to those feelings. Increased awareness hopefully means women will seek treatment instead of letting it slide, and that doctors will give appropriate treatment instead of endlessly recommending antidepressants.

On a lighter note since the menopause I no longer suffer with hay fever which may be coincidental but I'm putting it on the pros list.

i dont know about most women but for me personally it has been horrendous and still is despite being on hrt pill and patches,they are not doing much but i dare not go without them in case things become even worse for me.
My symptons started at 51 my periods became very heavy and clotty lasting for weeks on end,i was drained.Then the hot flushes started my head would start to heat up and sweat poured down my face lasting five or so mins.When all this became unbearable i got myself to the doctors who said i neeeded to go on hrt which was great for the hot flushes they stopped.
Now four years later still on Hrt and still suffering tiredness low mood (dont care if i live or die) anger i cant control,brain fog, aches in my feet hands legs,memory loss to the extent i thought i had dementia and also paranoia,isomnia and gained a full stone which i cant loser despite trying.I have gone from a confident happy person to the opposite.

You’re a bit young yet
it might not be peri menopause

I've mainly had hot flushes - which have been a god send as i'm always cold.

Tranexamic acid has been a life-saver for me with the hideous periods - I wish I’d asked for help sooner. The discovery of ultra tampons was also a massive help

I'm 50 and not been too bad. I had terrible rages mid-40s but the past 6 months I've been hit by crippling tiredness. Like falling asleep at my desk stuff. I also have started to suffer from bad migraines and my jointed are aching.

Nothing too awful though. Maybe the tiredness. Migralieve works on the migraines quite quickly but I think it's time for hrt. Just need to navigate the challenge of getting a gp appt!!