Peri menopause/menopause..do most women have terrible symptoms

[Grinchpyjamasalready]

And what age did your symptoms start?
Reading about all the horrible symptoms, i’m starting to feel a bit freaked out.
Suffered with endo and hormone imbalances & bad pmt all my life, will this mean a horrific menopause
I’m 44 and seeing possible signs…long, horrible periods with clots and the moment and constantly emotional or angry 😫

It was awful for me. Mainly the night sweats and insomnia. Once that was sorted via HRT I can live with the rest.

I will be (hopefully) post menopause in two weeks time.

The only symptoms I have are joint pains (mild) and generally feeling hotter.

Itchy skin for me has been relieved by using Sanex shower gel (the one for microbiome protection). Leaving my skin slightly damp and then slathering on Aveeno for very dry and sensitive skin.

Aching gums at the moment - really, really sore. Am on paracetamol at the moment and then off to get some Corsodyl in the morning as I'm worried about gingivitis starting. I'm only just getting over the mother of all UTIs, which are not something I have ever really suffered from before.

Oh and aching joints - really noticeable in my wrists and ankles, and my lower back when driving.

Achinn joints could be other things. Vit D deficiency? Arthritis?

Not heard of itchy skin being a menopause related issue. Have you tried eating more omega 3 rich foods?
I do wonder if every ailment gets blamed on menopause if you’re between 45-55.

@WGSW interesting that you say you get aching gums. I've never had any type of teeth or gum problems until after my 3rd baby was born in 2020, then literally the postpartum symptoms from hell started about 3 months after she was born. I've had lots of tartar on my teeth for years yet no bleeding or any problems with it whatsoever until now. They get much worse before my period starts and are almost a sore in some areas that I literally can't brush them and stand there crying.

Private gynaecologist says that this isn't the symptom of perimenopause and it is more likely to be the low iron levels apparently. I had a blood test and my hormones are all good levels supposedly but I'm pretty damn certain my terrible gum problems and other things like horrible brain fog/empty headed feeling is because of perimenopause. It's awful and you have my utmost sympathy.

I'm only just getting over the mother of all UTIs, which are not something I have ever really suffered from before

Ask your GP to prescribe Vagifem to prevent genitourinary atrophy.

this fits with my experience - I can only think of one person in my friendship group who had a really hard time - and she really did have a bad time, I had night sweats but nothing else, a couple of friends had hot flushes during the day, most seem to have just got through it with mild discomfort.

Davina and Mariella et al are doing my head in. And it does us no favours at work being portrayed as hormonal, sweaty, harrudans when we get to 50!

This a million times!

I had similar when I seemed to have a huge hormone crash earlier this year, despite being on hrt. Bloods showed v low oestrogen. Ferritin has been really good for first time ever as periods have been so light.

For most the symptoms are more inconvenient/uncomfortable than truly awful, though of course people with more severe symptoms are more inclined to talk about them.

The women in my family have only had hot flushes and changes in appetite.

Not sure if it's a coincidence but seems like women who've had children start menopause earlier?

My mum was on it for 10-15 years and found out after you're only suppose to be on HRT for max 2 years I think she said 🤔

I’m 43 and have just started HRT after two years of utterly unexplainable but all encompassing fatigue. I used to be very fit, running and doing multi-day hikes, and it got as bad as me struggling with a gentle walk for half an hour. I have really struggled to keep working and have been panicked about losing my job through not being able to keep up, despite having a really good professional reputation. Various other explanations were offered including long covid (when I’d never actually tested positive for covid despite regular testing), chronic fatigue syndrome, and low ferritin - getting my iron levels up helped a bit but not that much. Then I started with the insomnia, which I’ve never suffered from, inability to remember names and other details when I’ve always had an almost photographic memory, aching limbs, real pain in wrists, ankles, hands and feet. Oh, and as soon as I turned 40 my periods went haywire with clotting, flooding - and that every three weeks instead of the four-five they’d always been.

I didn’t think about perimenopause because I assumed I was too young, and I avoided the Davina stuff and so on because I don’t like bandwagons and I thought it couldn’t be that bad.

When I described how I was feeling to an older friend recently as “I’m so tired I just hurt all over, and I can’t do the yoga and meditation and things I used to, because that depended on me feeling like my body was a nice comfortable place to be, and it just feels so achy and awful now I hate feeling into my body” she said that sounded exactly like perimenopause. So I talked with my GP again and we agreed a trial of HRT. Within literally two days the achy heaviness had lifted for the first time in two years. I thought it must be placebo to work so fast, but a few weeks on I don’t think so. I’m still feeling tired but I’m starting to feel like my old self again and to go out and do stuff in my spare time rather than lie helplessly on the sofa. I am also sleeping again. I know the risks, but life was just getting not worth living before the HRT. Now it all looks so much brighter.

I don’t know how typical my symptoms are. I think I’d have worked it out sooner if I was getting hot flushes. Apart from maybe the odd night sweat I’m not. I do wonder if fatigue and body aches are more prevalent for some women. Reading women’s stories it does seem so for a minority of us.

I think peri menopause is seen as hot flushes, night sweats, and forgetfulness, and if you’ve not got those it’s not peri menopause, But not all women get those symptoms.
Ive never had a night sweat. I’ve never had a hot flush. Yes, I get hotter if I’m doing something like running round getting ready for work, or cleaning, but I don’t have a sudden sweat for no reason.

@BrownTableMat you could be me. That describes my experience.

Except around age 38. A child at 41 seems to have helped and then delayed a bit but it worsened terribly at 43.

This is why I do think Davina and others have been helpful as I too thought I was far too young. Periods were relatively normal. I couldn't find out basic info about menopause v peri menopause and if you could still have periods etc till they all rocked up. Nhs didn't describe peri menopause.

I was about to give up work and be diagnosed with cfs or fibromyalgia and probably end up being classed as disabled i was so unwell.

I've been feeling in a way glad that blood tests showed such low levels even on lower patches. As it proved I wasn't useless. I don't think I'm on what I need at all yet though.

I'm glad others don't experience this and I really wish I hadn't. I couldn't exercise at all and I used to be v fit. Still can't run but have been doing strength training and lots of walking.

Thanks all for advice. Gum pain was so bad last night it kept me awake!! Off to get some corsodyl now and will also get some ferritin.

Didn't know about atrophy causing urinary problems - isn't this bloody glamorous!!!!

I've been lucky and don't have any of the classic symptoms. The worst one for me has been some insomnia, but I think that's exacerbated by a stressful job (and the pandemic). My IBS is also much worse (I hadn't connected this to the perimenopause but it appears it can be).

Other than that, no night sweats, hot flushes, brain fog, aches, exhaustion or anxiety or any of the other symptoms. Still have regular periods and I'm 52.

My menopause wad basically my symptoms of pmt on steroids x 100000. Wanted to rip my own skin off for 5 years. But now it's over its wonderful . But I look older than my age. Only 48

I'm 58. I'm nearly through it all i hope. But. The hot flashes, that anxiety attack just before (took me a while to connect the two) the insomnia and hot flashes, the anger and sudden emotional swings have been awful.
I had awful periods and really bad PMT though. Rally bad.

At times i have been left wondering if I'd be better off dead.

So. My advice is to keep on top of what you are experiencing, talk to your GP first and make sure you are comfortable they won't just dismiss everything with a wave of the hand and "other women have it too" and do your own reading around about how to mitigate symptoms etc so that you have your own strategy.

Speak to your DH about it.

I do wonder if every ailment gets blamed on menopause if you’re between 45-55.

this could also be due to woeful under research of this topic because, frankly, nobody cares about older women. And can people stop saying things like "bandwagon" because people like Davina are talking about it?

it is a huge change in many people's lives, and for some it is really bad, for others a mild inconvenience - but many many more people could be helped if it were taken seriously, talked about openly and things like HRT offered without people having to fight for it.

I’m 60 now so I guess it’s all over, to be honest I barely noticed anything going on as I deliberately didn’t read or talk about it! I certainly feel better now, sex drive returned with a vengeance at 55 after 10 years celibate. I can’t eat onions or drink red wine, but hay fever is a thing of the past so it’s all good.

That said, I did experience a lot of stress around 10 years ago which gave me heart palpitations. Beta blockers were prescribed and they were a lifesaver for me when it felt like things were getting on top of me. Some of those things were probably peri, looking back.

I'm on the pill to control endometriosis until I'm out the other side of menopause, or until an symptoms do occur and I need to rethink what hormones I'm taking or have surgery.

I did get hot flushes occasionally. I actually found them quite exciting (cf sex drive coming back).