AIBU - whispering colleague

[Thiswayorthatway]

We’re back in the office a few days a week. I have noticed that one of my colleagues provides a whispering commentary (to himself) on what he’s doing - “That’s that email sent”, “Now need to ring Mr X”, “Just need to nip to the loo”. Definitely just to himself, not sure he even knows he’s doing it, even when I passively aggressively have my hands clamped over my ears trying to concentrate. It’s only really me whom he’s disturbing.

It’s driving me mad and reminds me why I mostly prefer WFH.

AIBU - chill out, poor chap probably struggles WFH, just tell him politely to stop (how?!).

YANBU - make him take a vow of silence unless he has something useful to say.

YABU. This is a total non-issue (even if a bit annoying).

Move seats. He can’t help it. We have one and popped him in a corner which he’s happy with as he doesn’t really like people ! His constant muttering is the only way he can focus.

I'd say "What? Oh, I thought you were talking to me." every time. Or say "You're talking to yourself again" every time.

YANBU that would piss me off. I'd get earplugs tbh. (Or get an MP3 player/ headphones and play music to yourself.)

When people chat away to themselves, and laugh to themselves and so on, I do wonder if they'd do it if they were alone.

It's pure attention-seeking.

I would probably do this or move seats.

Just be cheerful and direct: "I'm sure you don't realise you're doing it, but when you talk to yourself I keep thinking you're talking to me!"

"Just be cheerful and direct: "I'm sure you don't realise you're doing it, but when you talk to yourself I keep thinking you're talking to me!""

How's that direct? He'll just say "oh right" and carry on. She wouldn't be asking him to stop

Why do you assume, that I talk to myself or the cat when I'm working from home

Someone in our office once said to the leg-shaker who was making the desk rattle "I love you dearly but please just stop". Hasn't happened since!

You clamp your hands over your ears?!

I do this!! but it's my way of remembering things as I have a list in my head of what needs to be done and this is the only way I can manage the tasks as I need to get most things done that day ai certainly dont do it to annoy people and half the time I don't realise I do it until someone comments on it then I feel like shit
Try and be a little patient you dont know if it's for the reasons similar to mine as a coping and managing mechanism

I talk to myself out loud a lot. I am ND. Can't stop. Want to but cannot.

When I used to click my pen constantly a colleague once burst out "WILL YOU FUCKING STOP THAT"

It helped that he was a nice man and funny, who could generally get away with saying things others wouldn't. I wasn't upset, I hadn't realised I was doing it and I did stop.

I would put this firmly in the category of "minor irritations to ignore in the hopes that people show me the same courtesy".

I work with him and we need to speak so can’t really move seats. Good point that he may be ND and it’s his coping mechanism. He’s a nice guy and I don’t want to offend him. I have conversations with myself (in my head) all the time so I sort of get it. I also probably do stuff I don’t realise that annoys him!

Can you wear headphones or play a radio or similar? Im like your colleague and I really can't stop it, I'd hate to be annoying someone this much!

I can't believe how many reasonable replies there are on here! This would drive me totally potty and I'd be holding in the screams. It would either be headphones and music or a quiet word if I was in this situation.

You put your hands over your ears at work like a child? That's ridiculous.

amazing. I'm using this all the time.

I sometimes mutter to myself, especially if focusing on a complicated task (it helps me) and especially when WFH on my own. So not necessarily attention seeking.
If I'm in the office, I make a huge effort not to do it because I don't want to annoy people (or seem weird)!

OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable to expect people to keep unnecessary noise down in the office.

I think the hands over ears thing is far more annoying than the muttering!

say something to him (kindly) and if he doesn’t stop, buy some headphones

YANBU to find it irritating - it would drive me mad. I'm sure everyone irritates their colleagues one way or another though.

I don't agree with PPs who think it's done for attention though. He's probably barely aware that he's doing it.

I used to sit at a bank of desks with someone who used to quietly sing to himself. Also someone who drummed out little rhythms on his desk. We did constantly tell them off for it though. I also used to really annoy one of my colleagues by tapping my nails on my notebook.

YABU - it's just one of those things people do. I have a colleague who does this and addresses herself by a nickname (think "Piggy" or "Ducky") when she is giving herself her next task - "Right then Piggy, time to run the activity reports, and then call Estates". It seems to work for her and makes me laugh.

Absolutely this

Yes I agree it is really annoying and diatracting! We have a woman like this in the office and people wonder why I prefer to wfh! I never get anything done there.