AIBU - whispering colleague

[Thiswayorthatway]

We’re back in the office a few days a week. I have noticed that one of my colleagues provides a whispering commentary (to himself) on what he’s doing - “That’s that email sent”, “Now need to ring Mr X”, “Just need to nip to the loo”. Definitely just to himself, not sure he even knows he’s doing it, even when I passively aggressively have my hands clamped over my ears trying to concentrate. It’s only really me whom he’s disturbing.

It’s driving me mad and reminds me why I mostly prefer WFH.

AIBU - chill out, poor chap probably struggles WFH, just tell him politely to stop (how?!).

YANBU - make him take a vow of silence unless he has something useful to say.

YABU for using the term ‘MP3 player’ in 2022 😂

Bless him, yes, he could be ND. Mind, I'm not & I do it sometimes.. :-0

My son does this. If I stop him, then he loses track of what he's doing and finds it much more difficult.

Headphones, or either you or he needs to move somewhere so you're further apart

YABU

He's got his own way of organizing his workliad and this is his way iof doing that,

If his attitude was comoletely the opposite then his colleagues eould have reason to complain because they will be picking up the pieces.

You are being unkind to him, someone may do the same to you one day.

YBU. Do you know anything about this person? Are they perhaps neurodivergent? Everyone has to compromise in a shared space. I would suggest getting to know them and maybe getting some noise cancelling headphones if you can't tune it out.

I honestly would let him know he's doing it. Just ask him if he knows it. Say it bothers you but that if it helps him then you'll wear some headphones which might mean when he is addressing you he needs to say your name first so you're aware.
It's not a big deal letting someone know it's bothering you. He's an adult. Let him know. If it's a coping mechanism then he can tell you and you can work out how to stop it bothering you.

It's not attention seeking. I do it but out loud and I mostly work on my own.
I do it in the car too. I don't know why and I try not to if others are about in case they think I'm a loon.

I’m ND and talk to myself in the supermarket. I’m not attention-seeking and I could actually stop if I wanted to. But I don’t want to 🙂.

Really? She'd be pointing out that it's distracting! One or two of the cheerful prompts and she can move to, "I'm finding it hard to concentrate when you do that, is there a way you could avoid bit?"

What's with the armchair diagnoses?

I do this at work and at home. I am ND so I literally have to do this to remember the fast amount of info that I have spewed at me. If I don’t I mess up my work. I however work in a noisy environment (which doesn’t help at all)

it’s really not attention seeking and I mostly don’t even realise I am doing it!

Oh God, I do this. I'm pretty sure I'm ND too. I didn't realise it was a thing that NDs do. Like PP, I do it everywhere. I suppose it must be annoying to some extent.

I don't do it to seek attention. I do it when I'm home alone. It helps me to get my thoughts / plans in order.

😂 I do this. It I don't even whisper. It's a small office and I'm sure of it bothered anyone they would would happily take the piss out of me.

Yes, I do it when I'm on my own too. I'm ND.

Everything on MN is diagnosable- husband being a cunt? Depressed. Kid being a shit? On the spectrum. Parent acting a dick? Dementia, even if they’re in their 40s. 🙄

I do this all the time, my adult DC are always telling me to stop it but I don't realise I'm doing it. I do it less when I have headphones in but they find that just as annoying.

You’re lucky it’s a whisper, I talk to myself out loud. But luckily for everyone I’m self-employed.

YABU

Everyone has different coping mechanisms with keeping things in check and their stress levels. Unless he intentionally does things to annoy you, then that’s a different story.

life’s too short. This is an absolute non issue

Headphones!

You would explode at our office, there are four of us and we all do this! Also occasionally the tech lady will randomly whoop because one of her automation tests has worked. We all get on very well and just shout “talking to me or yourself?” and then get on with things.

If we want to concentrate we wear headphones and wait for someone to throw things to indicate our attention is needed elsewhere.

I do this when l'm inputting something complicated. Luckily l'm mostly alone in the office. I can see how it would be annoying for anyone else sharing the space but really helps me concentrate. I second the get some headphones suggestion!

I’m ND and I did used to do this and didn’t realise (definitely not attention seeking) then after a different colleague was using the desk next to me kept thinking that I was talking to her, I went to admin, got a notebook and now I write a daily to do list, checking items off as I do them. I love it.

I would too.

And putting your hands over your ears in a passive aggressive way is childish.

I can see why society has become so intolerant. Jeez.

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