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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Followed round Wilko by shop security team.

213 replies

ThreeWarriors · 28/09/2022 21:03

I was shopping in Wilko today when towards the end I realised I was being very closely monitored by a very unsubtle security team. I went to the till and paid for my shopping and told the lady at the till how obvious they’d been and how uncomfortable they’d made me feel. She did apologise. The whole thing was very unnerving.

I have never stolen a thing in my life and have no reason to.

I am a DV victim and probably come across as less confident. I also struggle to make decisions in shops so like to take my time. I think there were at least two men, definitely one. There was a lady there too but she was much less obvious.

I was mainly buying stuff to send to my DD at uni and am now thinking of returning it all and buying it elsewhere.

I don’t want to be followed around anywhere by unknown men.

OP posts:
Lottieholder · 28/09/2022 21:10

A few years ago my son and his friends were followed around our local supermarket by the deputy manager. She said it was to ensure they weren’t stealing. None of them had ever been caught or suspected of stealing before. I had a meeting with the manager of the store where the area manager happened to be at. I pointed out that that wasn’t the way to treat any customers and particularly ones you want later in life when they’re grown up.

35965a · 28/09/2022 21:13

I feel like they must be pretty shit at their jobs if they have to follow people and be so obvious when watching them. There’s one shop round here and people are always complaining about the security guard.

ImWithMuriel · 28/09/2022 21:14

This always happens to me at my local Next and Sainsburys. I think I must have a lookalike shoplifter. It really put me off last time i was shopping in Next as they made no secret of it, even when I asked them why they were following me. They stood at the till until i had paid. Horrible, i have never stolen anything. Online shopping only for me from now on. Sorry this happened OP, it makes you feel so angry.

Grandeur · 28/09/2022 21:15

Sorry but they're just doing their job

Floatyunicorn · 28/09/2022 21:23

It happens to me in my local wilko but its not a security person its a member of staff, i must look like a shoplifter maybe?
Numerous times now she makes it obvious shes checking, if ive paid on self service till she comes over n takes my receipt before i get to grab it n has a quick look before handing it to me, if shes served me at the till and i have a carrier bag she politely insists on packing my bag for me (and proceeds to check nothing is in there) it really unnerves me and to be honest i dont go in there now unless i absolutely have to. Shes does it in a polite way so i never find the nerve to say anything.
I have never stole anything and even have gone in wearing my work ID.

Original poster
ThreeWarriors · 28/09/2022 21:29

Judging by their behaviour, they obviously thought I was definitely going steal something. Why they came to that conclusion, I don’t know. I never really shop at that branch but do at another and remember last time I was there a lady hovering at the end of my self-checkout till. I wonder if the other branch has shared my photo. But I am a genuine customer with a very responsible job that requires no criminal record 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 28/09/2022 21:31

They are just doing their job. If being obvious about it makes you uncomfortable then it is working... as part of their job is to deter would be shop lifters too, not just catch them in the act (not saying you are planning on shoplifting).

I did see a lady in my local Iceland properly scream at the security guard for following her. The store is small, so he may well have been just walking down the same aisle as her. She mentioned her anxiety about 20 times, filmed the security guard and said she would get family members to come beat him up the next day.

Stopsnowing · 28/09/2022 21:31

I have had this once or twice including my a shop assistant who basically stood in front of me. I asked him if I could help him. Fine to be followed discreetly but not otherwise.

ADialgaAteMyDog · 28/09/2022 21:33

Happens to me alllll the time. I will never set foot in a Joy shop again after a dreadful experience. I don't understand why they are so unsubtle about it. Plus, I used to work in shops and shoplifters are generally pretty obvious, going equipped in ways that I do not!
Horrible for you OP, if you feel strongly, I would return the stuff and go elsewhere.

HumphreysCorner · 28/09/2022 21:35

I've had this in BHS a few years back with my young DD's. Felt so uncomfortable, worked in a bank for 20 years but still felt the need to convince I was innocent.

DoodlePug · 28/09/2022 21:35

'Team' is strange. Possibly it was someone training some others and they just picked a random person to follow.

Sorry it made you uncomfortable, don't take it personally.

Original poster
ThreeWarriors · 28/09/2022 21:36

Floatyunicorn · 28/09/2022 21:23

It happens to me in my local wilko but its not a security person its a member of staff, i must look like a shoplifter maybe?
Numerous times now she makes it obvious shes checking, if ive paid on self service till she comes over n takes my receipt before i get to grab it n has a quick look before handing it to me, if shes served me at the till and i have a carrier bag she politely insists on packing my bag for me (and proceeds to check nothing is in there) it really unnerves me and to be honest i dont go in there now unless i absolutely have to. Shes does it in a polite way so i never find the nerve to say anything.
I have never stole anything and even have gone in wearing my work ID.

That’s shocking! Why are Wilko choosing to treat their customers like this??? Don’t they have cameras they can use instead? It was as if they were planning on arresting me, they had all sides covered. For what?!

I love Wilko but don’t think I can shop there anymore.

OP posts:
Grandeur · 28/09/2022 21:37

ThreeWarriors · 28/09/2022 21:29

Judging by their behaviour, they obviously thought I was definitely going steal something. Why they came to that conclusion, I don’t know. I never really shop at that branch but do at another and remember last time I was there a lady hovering at the end of my self-checkout till. I wonder if the other branch has shared my photo. But I am a genuine customer with a very responsible job that requires no criminal record 🤷‍♀️

Maybe the shop wasn't particularly busy so followed you because they didn't have anything else to do?

You know you're not a thief so don't take it personally.

FangsForTheMemory · 28/09/2022 21:40

I’ve had this happen and it’s irritating. I think they do it on purpose to intimidate you. When it happened to me I left without buying what I’d gone in for.

HappyDays40 · 28/09/2022 21:40

I just confront them and wind them up by putting things in a shopping bag and not a basket. It's a habit I started during covid because he trolleys and baskets were mining.
They can't actually do anything till you leave the store so waltz around and put things in plastic bags it gets them all hot under he collar. Dicks.

DoodlePug · 28/09/2022 21:41

My friend is police but I've got to admit she looks pretty rough off the job.

She often shops in selfridges, went in off duty and picked up an item from one area then walked to another and was approached and asked to go to the back area. The security guys said they wanted to speak with her cos she was behaving suspiciously and they recognised her, that was because she'd come in to pick up a shop lifter the previous month 😂

Needmorelego · 28/09/2022 21:42

@ThreeWarriors why would another branch share your photo? Where would they even got a photo from and why?
Are you sure they were actually security though? It seems unusual to have 3 working in store. Many Wilko's seem to barely have 3 regular members of staff.

MushMonster · 28/09/2022 21:43

I feel for you OP. I had this in a local Lidl when I went shopping with my 6 year old. I spotted a man in a white shirt several times around. I thought it was a shopper, but after a few times I started to get the feeling that he was following us. Then we saw him at the cash points and I noticed he was indeed security.
I had never ever seen security inside a supermarket before, neither have I since then.
This happened every flipping time we went there, for a few times and then he decided to start talking to me when I was at the till.
He never accused me of taking anything at all, but I found it really creepy, so I stopped going into this shop. Still today I would rather do not set a foot there and they no longer have security patrolling the tiny place anymore!

Needmorelego · 28/09/2022 21:44

Also there's meant to be a member of staff 'hovering' at the end of the self service. They are there to assist. That's their job. The poor things are essentially covering 2 or 3 tills simultaneously.

NewBootsAndRanty · 28/09/2022 21:45

Needmorelego · 28/09/2022 21:42

@ThreeWarriors why would another branch share your photo? Where would they even got a photo from and why?
Are you sure they were actually security though? It seems unusual to have 3 working in store. Many Wilko's seem to barely have 3 regular members of staff.

This - they'd only normally share your photo if you'd been caught shoplifting from them.

Blowyourowntrumpet · 28/09/2022 21:45

If happens to me all the time. I've never stolen anything and I couldn't care less if they want to waste their time following new. Don't take it personally.

Original poster
ThreeWarriors · 28/09/2022 21:46

Unfortunately as a DV victim, being followed and watched by men makes me feel very unsafe.

Why didn’t they choose another man to follow I wonder? I may have been an easy target but they were totally wasting their time.

OP posts:
Blowyourowntrumpet · 28/09/2022 21:49

I'm sure they do follow men as well. I honestly do understand why it makes you uncomfortable. They don't know your history though and they weren't actually doing anything wrong. I hope your DD enjoys the things you've bought for her.

AramintaLee · 28/09/2022 21:50

This sounds odd but... what were you wearing? I remember when I was at Uni working part time in a supermarket, I got chatting to one of the security guards and he said they tend to immediately look at people who wear trainers and clothing that would be easy to run in. Also clothing that could be used to conceal you (like a hoodie)

Obviously if you were wearing a skirt and heels, this probably wasn't the case and perhaps you were just giving off a nervous energy. Either way that doesn't make it okay and it must have been very upsetting for you.

Original poster
ThreeWarriors · 28/09/2022 21:51

FangsForTheMemory · 28/09/2022 21:40

I’ve had this happen and it’s irritating. I think they do it on purpose to intimidate you. When it happened to me I left without buying what I’d gone in for.

Thats a shame. I couldn’t focus on what I was trying to buy after I realised what was going on.

OP posts: