Followed round Wilko by shop security team.

[ThreeWarriors]

I was shopping in Wilko today when towards the end I realised I was being very closely monitored by a very unsubtle security team. I went to the till and paid for my shopping and told the lady at the till how obvious they’d been and how uncomfortable they’d made me feel. She did apologise. The whole thing was very unnerving.

I have never stolen a thing in my life and have no reason to.

I am a DV victim and probably come across as less confident. I also struggle to make decisions in shops so like to take my time. I think there were at least two men, definitely one. There was a lady there too but she was much less obvious.

I was mainly buying stuff to send to my DD at uni and am now thinking of returning it all and buying it elsewhere.

I don’t want to be followed around anywhere by unknown men.

Got followed in a shop in Portsmouth last summer. A female member of staff. She just went everywhere I did. I don't look like their typical customer I suppose. In the end, I asked her straight out, "Can I help you?" She made her excuses and backed off.

I always used to get followed in Boots. If they are still following me these days then I haven't noticed lately. I do give off a very nervous energy though (I have really bad anxiety) and I look a bit rough. Never shoplifted in my life and wouldn't.

A lot of people excusing theft on here tonight.

Seems to be and a lot of people who think shoplifters all look the same.

What? Where are posters excusing theft? I've just been back through the thread & can't find anything?

A security guard doesn't know your history or your job or whether you've ever shoplifted. They know that their job is to prevent theft. If you make them suspicious for any reason, they're doing nothing wrong in keeping a closer eye on you.

If that was me id have turned around, looked them straight in the eye and held my hands up.

to be fair though shoplifting has gone through the roof I was talking with a family member about how on earth they were afford in life etc and one of them quite openly admitted their average in about £40 worth of shopping a week for free from the supermarket otherwise they be really struggling 😳

I had this in boots the day before we went on holiday. Walked in to grab nail varnish, remover, cotton discs and an exfoliator, so not exactly the big crime spree the security guy was expecting! I did find it mildly amusing as I don't think I really fit the bill for a shop lifter based on what I was wearing and carrying. He lost me as I was rushing round trying to find something else for the holiday and once I'd paid I sat down on the seats opposite the shop entrance to have something to eat and I realised I was still being watched 😂 he literally walked up to the doors and stood there, like he could do anything now. I just waved at him, not sure he liked that 😆

I don't think all non shoplifters would think you are nice. It would put me right off and I wouldn't buy it or I would buy it online but your confirmatory bias would mean that when I said I wouldn't take it you would think it is because I was actually a shoplifter and you had stopped me shoplifting.

My uncle, an ex-police officer, noticed a guy going around the supermarket but not buying anything. He reported it to customer services thinking he was dodgy but it turned out that the guy was the store security guard. They were busy watching each other instead of real criminals.

Pp's repeatedly saying that they don't look like shoplifters.

There is not one look that fits all shoplifters.

Professional shoplifters look well dressed as a distraction.

And in the same vein, you being a DV victim isn’t their problem.

Their job is to keep an eye out for shoplifters and that’s exactly what they were doing.

Same for me when I was a Saturday boy in a small supermarket. Just about to report a suspicious man when he stopped someone and all was made clear.

If you feel uneasy in a shop - because of another customer/detective then go straight to customer services and report them.

See what happens/what they say then decide what your response is going to be.

Or, if you are feeling bolder, and a bit cheeky engage them in conversation, bring other shoppers in. Ask them where stuff is etc.

I had this in John lewis last week, wasn't even browsing as walked in and headed straight to their cafe. Was followed the entire time. Won't shop there again, shame as my disabled child enjoys this trip but I won't be made to feel like a criminal

This is precisely why my partner stopped going to B&Q and now goes to Wickes. It's overkill in there and a security man chased after him to check he had paid for a carrier bag! (Of course he had btw.)

I used to get this in boots, funnily enough it didn't happen when my husband came in with me 🤔

I simply don't go in shops where this happens any more. I can get everything I need online. It's a shame when the high street is dying but physical shopping should be fun, if I can't browse in peace, then there is no point.

Of course it didn’t, because you behave differently when your husband was with you 🙄

Bullshit, it happened that frequently and it was always the same security guard, he would have known my face, coat etc. I caught my security guard friend's eye at the entrance once when came in with DH and he looked very akward. Some men just love to intimidate lone women if they feel they are in some position of power.

It did me a favour, boots meal deals are an expensive way to eat sandwiches for lunch.

I've had this a few times. When I was a teenager I had a whole audience of staff watching me try out the testers in Superdrug 🙄 Me and my Mum had a security guard follow us round the whole of M&S once. We were the only ones in there so I'm guessing he was bored. Yes, they're only doing their jobs but being made to feel like a criminal is never a nice feeling. I can understand why OP would feel intimidated and upset.

In my case, it did feel like I was an easy target for them and they would have been less obvious had I been a strapping male.

Someone mentioned about the difference when shopping with their husband. DP looks dodgy as hell, often unshaven and scruffy. He is also over 6ft tall. If I’ve ever been followed when I’m with him, it’s been done very subtly.

At the end of the day, these people are cowards and it’s much easier to deal with the wrath of a tiny, middle aged woman than a giant of a man.

Some men just love to intimidate lone women if they feel they are in some position of power.

Yeah I suspect there's sometimes an element of misogyny to it as well

@Grandeur
''Sorry but they're just doing their job''

No they are not...

The idea is that they should be as discreet as possible when keeping and eye on the shop floor and only start closely monitoring someone if there is a tangible sign that they are up to no good.

This could be the person having been previously seen in the store shoplifting or someone carrying a huge bag around maybe or someone who keeps getting really close to the aisle/products and tries to block the view of what they are doing.

Very obviously following a woman on her own who is simply looking around the shop is not appropriate.

It would make me very uncomfortable as well because I would feel the man has profiled me for some reason and thinks it is OK to assume I am a thief.

I would actually have stared at him to make it clear I had noticed his behaviour then gone straight to talk to him to ask what was going on. Then I would have made a complaint to the store manager and made sure I never shop there again.

I'd have put the items back and took my custom elsewhere. Its all very well people saying don't it personally. I'd have also spoken in an assertive yet polite manner to the security and the manager and asked why exactly I was targeted. What had I done to arouse suspicion. I'd also mention that I felt intimidated by them, wouldn't anyone having 5 people following them round or at the very least uncomfortable.

There is also the point that if they don't wear uniforms a woman on her own might think that she is being followed by a random creep, not a staff member.

This is why I expect male security staff in plain clothes to be mindful of how they interact with female shoppers and certainly not follow them around in such an obvious way for no tangible reasons.

You would not accept a police officer suddenly deciding to trail you like that for no reason so why a security guy?

Well no, because they are not there to "catch" people, they are there to stop people stealing in the first place. It's as much about making it blindingly obvious that there is security there as it is about sneaking about and being covert.

There was clearly something in your behaviour which raised suspicion OP, even if you were not stealing. The lingering and slow decision making may well have looked as if you were waiting for a opportunity to steal. All the rest of it about the domestic violence and you lacking in confidence - how do you expect them to know that?

You are clearly free to shop where you choose and if you choose not to return to that particular shop that is up to you. But you cannot expect shops not to have security because it makes you uncomfortable.

…I’m definitely going to think of some strategies for dealing with this type of thing in the future.

Yesterday, I turned to face him directly and gave him a Paddington-style cold hard stare.

I really wish I’d taken it further and followed him. They must have run off to the staff room quickly because I actually did a circuit of the store to see if they’d moved on to someone else and I couldn’t see any of them anywhere. They weren’t in the massive queue for the tills either.

I really like the idea of engaging them in endless conversation….asking them for advice about what to buy, telling them my life story and why I’m buying what I’m buying, complaining that there’s never any staff around to help etc.

Oh and how about a perusal of the condom section. Asking them for advice about which ones to buy as DP has and enormous penis 😆