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AIBU?

Was your wedding okay if your inlaws didn't like you?

40 replies

owlettenotnow · 28/09/2022 10:34

I have been engaged for 5 years and the only thing that's putting me off is inviting my inlaws. The whole family hate me and I would just feel so self conscious walking down the aisle knowing that they will most likely be sniggering or worse, objecting!

We would be having a very small wedding (20 tops) anyway. I cant imagine having my wedding day where half of the guests actively dispise me.

I was thinking of having a nice meal our after and it would be so awkward.
We were no contact for nearly a decade. I wish we had done it then!

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owlettenotnow · 28/09/2022 12:21

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/09/2022 11:44

We eloped to solve that problem.

My mil was politely told that because we only had 30 guests including us and my 2 children, the invite was for her and not her on and off boyfriend.

She went berserk and screamed how dare we not invite her boyfriend.

Fil girlfriend was uppity bc the invite didn't extend to all her children. It really pissed us off to the point we ended up eloping and we are very glad.

The point of the wedding was to get married. We didn't tolerate tantrums from adults in their 60s and 70s for one minute.

We ended up using the money we saved from the wedding to have IVF. I'm now 36 weeks pregnant.

Best decision!

Well that's amazing! Congratulations! What a wonderful story ❤

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SwordToFlamethrower · 28/09/2022 12:36

owlettenotnow · 28/09/2022 12:21

Well that's amazing! Congratulations! What a wonderful story ❤

Thank you so much! Everything worked out the way it was supposed to, even though it was bloody awful at the time.

Discussions had, decisions made. I have very little contact with my in laws, but my husband is an absolute dream boat!

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owlettenotnow · 28/09/2022 12:37

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/09/2022 12:36

Thank you so much! Everything worked out the way it was supposed to, even though it was bloody awful at the time.

Discussions had, decisions made. I have very little contact with my in laws, but my husband is an absolute dream boat!

aww I hope you're really happy! xx

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Turtles4543 · 28/09/2022 12:38

Yea few sour faces in the photos but the day was fine!

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Simonjt · 28/09/2022 12:44

They threw a huge strop about three days before so my husband told them not to bother coming, they actually listened to him for once and didn’t turn up, it was lovely.

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MySweetBaboo · 28/09/2022 13:03

Me and ex husband eloped for this very reason. Was perfect for us and had the added bonus for me that it really fucked my nasty ex MIL off. 😃

The marriage breakdown after 20 years was nothing to do with the in-laws.

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WeetabixandStrawbs · 28/09/2022 13:18

If eloping is an option, I would recommend that. We did not, but had a small ish wedding. My ILs were a nightmare from the day we got engaged (had a strained relationship anyway). They refused to sit on the top table and FIL left after the wedding breakfast, MIL called my cake hideous, the hymns boring and made horrible comments about my dress. This was over 5 years ago and my relationship with them now is pretty much non existent. I am currently pregnant and NC with them as they caused me so much stress earlier on in my pregnancy it resulted in concerns about the baby and me being in hospital. They blamed it on me. DH manages the best he can to maintain some sort of relationship with them, but he is still processing his childhood with them. It's such a special day, it would be a shame to feel distracted or upset by having to spend it with them. Good luck, I hope you are able to find a way forward with this.

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Celeryfavour · 28/09/2022 13:30

I wouldn't marry him. In my experience the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, even though it flowers to begin with!

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owlettenotnow · 28/09/2022 16:00

Celeryfavour · 28/09/2022 13:30

I wouldn't marry him. In my experience the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, even though it flowers to begin with!

a bit late for that now, we've been together all of our lives and have children and a house and a whole life together. He was absolutely the apple that was catapulted away from the tree!

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lochmaree · 28/09/2022 16:18

My SIL refused to come, other inlaws came but ignored me all day 😂

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Confusedmeanderings · 28/09/2022 23:20

My inlaws didn't come to my wedding and I wasn't the least bit sorry! It was slightly different in that they were invited but turned it down. TBF my MIL was too frail to attend by herself and my SIL said she wasn't going so MIL couldn't either. I don't think my DH was particularly upset and I certainly wasn't.

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Noodledoodledoo · 28/09/2022 23:35

My SIL ignored me all day, DH had sacked her from being a bridesmaid as she couldn't promise not to upset me on the morning of the wedding. MIL was frosty. FIL was lovely.

Still married 10 years down the line, no issues, not a great relationship with the IL's but I am past caring now.

I had a fab day with 2 friends on watch to step in if SIL decided to be a bitch.

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honeylulu · 28/09/2022 23:59

FIL coming out the toilet with his willy swinging everywhere

😱😱😱

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sueelleker · 29/09/2022 00:23

My husband's parents were dead, so the only in-law I had was my SIL; and she was one of my bridesmaids! She's always been like another sister to me anyway.

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Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 29/09/2022 20:00

We had no willy waving. Wasn't a worry after mil told me fil wasn't very well endowed sometime previously..
Who does that??

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