To think its not even worth working!?

[Singlemum90]

Just been offered a job, for reference its about £35k. Initially I was super happy as I have been SAHM for a number of years & its in a field I used to work in but a bit different & a little less stress. And to me, that is a pretty decent salary!

After the call I decided to break down how much better off we would be, cost of living crisis and all that! I was thinking I would have a decent impact on our finances. But nope! With tax, student loan, childcare, the commute & a cleaner once every couple of weeks (we have children & pets- I would absolutely need some help if we are both working full time) I would only be up about £150 a week. And this is with wrap around care in school-goodness knows the cost over school holidays.

So really I would be working a full time professional job for £150 a week, max. I did origionally leave the work force because of this exact reason, but childcare costs then were for a full time childminder, I thought it would be better now my children are older.

I feel very deflated. Is missing time with the children, commuting, & the additional stress of working full time worth it for £150 a week!?

I apologise in advance I know I am incredibly fortunate to have the choice and to be able to afford to stay at home on my husbands income and I know £150 a week is a lot of money to a lot of people. It is a lot of money, just not what I thought a £35k salary would equate to.

So AIBU to think that it is s* to work full time for £7800 a year after everything that needs paid!?

Your figures don't add up.
DS earns similar and pays student loan, over 1k pm rent and all his bills and food, and manages to save as well.
You say dc are iin school, so you wint be paying full time child care. If you have multiple children you may find that a part time nanny/au pair works out cheaoer than wraparound at school. Maybe you could negotiatr wfh a fee days pw so you could do morning school run?

I'm shockedby the attitude towards SAHPs on here! Sounds like you and your husband are a good team :) I'm 50/50 on whether you should take the job but on balance I'd give it a go, especially since it's only temporary. Having 4 kids and all the admin/ferrying them around/ cooking/ spending time with them IS a full time job already in my opinion. Those posters saying all SAHMs do is "some housework" have a horrible attitude. Also, those saying they have a job for their own self worth seem bizarre to me. Surely your self worth should be based on service towards your family. If that means going to work to pay the bills, then great! If it means staying at home to care for FOUR kids and support your husband in his career then great! Why the snobbery?

Finally, there was a thread the other day where a mother wanted to wfh and care for her 2 year old one day a week and everyone was really worried (unreasonably IMO) about his welfare, but NOT ONE of you have mentioned the impact on this lady's kids when they're suddenly in wrap around care 5 days a week and have to give up swimming or brownies or whatever because Mum's now got a ft job on top of looking after the family. You lot aren't necessarily looking at the full picture... have I missed something? (Not saying this will be OP's situation - just an example of impact).

Good luck in the new job! It sounds like a great opportunity :)

Surely your self worth should be based on service towards your family. If that means going to work to pay the bills, then great! If it means staying at home to care for FOUR kids and support your husband in his career then great! Why the snobbery?

You need to understand that people define their self worth and their identity differently. Personally, my career is a huge part of my identity and I want to be so much more than someone who is just there to service the needs of their husband and children.
However, I can see that others might feel differently though.

Finally, there was a thread the other day where a mother wanted to wfh and care for her 2 year old one day a week and everyone was really worried (unreasonably IMO) about his welfare, but NOT ONE of you have mentioned the impact on this lady's kids when they're suddenly in wrap around care 5 days a week and have to give up swimming or brownies or whatever because Mum's now got a ft job on top of looking after the family. You lot aren't necessarily looking at the full picture... have I missed something?

I saw that thread and I most probably commented about how trying to WFH and look after a 2 year old isn't good for anyone. Most of us were commenting from a position of experience having had to wfh and look after our children during lockdown. People were rightly pointing out that it's not safe or good for the child and it's would be very stressful for the parent.
Why is wrap around care or childcare a bad thing? It's better that being ignored while a parent tries to work!!

You also seem to be ignoring the role of dad in all this..... why are children missing out on activities because mum is now working IN ADDITION to looking after the family? Firstly, why are they missing out? Most parents manage to work and take their kids to activities and secondly, why can't dad take children to brownies or whatever?

It seems as though you are missing a big bit of the picture!!

It's the starting salary. Think of positives rather than negatives

I checked my savings today (fortunate to have)

Lots of people have no savings per month

They don't pay out any where close to £600 per month !

It's an incredible opportunity

Get your DH to do more chores at home

This. It is unbelievably shortsighted to look at just the extra cash you'll get now and see that as the sole benefit of working. Why do so many people do this?

Many people both working full time manage without a cleaner for a start. And you and your dh presumably have annual leave - so between you you cover a lot of the holidays. I imagine most couples have to take separate annual leave with just a week or two off together, i know we certainly did for many years. You are very fortunate to be offered a 35k job after being a sahm for some years.

Exactly this. We had two weeks leave together and rest was used to cover childcare.

So this is a thread I started quite a few months ago, I'm not sure why it's been reopened.

Just to update incase anyone is interested...I took the job! I negotiated more flexible hours and slightly fewer hours so I work almost full time without the need for childcare. So quite a bit more income to keep. I save a lot of what I earn which we weren't able to do before. So some advice to anyone who rules out a new job due to it being full time or hours you think won't suit-dont! It is absolutely worthwhile asking if there is flexibility!! I have a cleaner and send out our washing, which are absolutely luxuries I understand most people cannot afford but they make life much easier. I am so happy I made the decision to work again and can work my way up in my field over time.

That said, being a SAHM was just as difficult when the children were not yet school age, so I don't get the hate.

Also for anyone who is worried about going back to the workplace after a number of years off, don't be! It is wonderful getting to spend time in an adult entertainment and you will pick things up very quickly again.

Sorry, must have been me not looking at the dates of previous posts. Just assumed it was current. Lesson learnt.

Thank you for the update - I'm in awe of you managing full time work and 4 children :) great to hear a positive outcome.