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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend forced to sign a waiver agreeing to diet by wedding dress shop

199 replies

MotherofGoats · 27/09/2022 13:41

Shocked. My friend has ordered a very expensive wedding dress from a well-known designer.... she went to be measured this week and was told that because she was "in between" sizes she would either have to pay £450 extra to have it made to her exact size or sign a waiver agreeing to lose around a stone before her final fitting, which is four months before her actual wedding next June. Is this normal? I think it's horrifying and toxic!

OP posts:
balalake · 27/09/2022 14:49

The better option would be to decline to sell a dress that does not fit at the time of agreeing to buy it.

We all know people, both women and men, who vow to lose a given level of weight and never achieve it.

mam0918 · 27/09/2022 14:49

They obviously wont be making her diet.

She has chosen to order a dress that SHE wants to diet down to fit in, the shop are simply making her sign a waiver that she acknowledges it is not the correct size and is choosing to proceed anyway so they are not responsable if she does not fit in it when it arrives. They dont care what size she is they just dont want to get sued when she doesnt fit into a wrong sized dress and then tries to blame them for ordering the wrong size (which DOES happen).

saltinesandcoffeecups · 27/09/2022 14:49

Badger1970 · 27/09/2022 14:34

My cousin ordered a wedding dress in a size 14.

She was a size 20 at the time, and was determined to lose weight. The lady in the dress shop wasn't having a bar of it, and made her sign a waiver that she was ordering something that may not fit and that they couldn't alter a dress to make it bigger.

She didn't lose the weight. She and my aunt had a blazing row when the £900 dress arrived and wouldn't even go over her arse..........

Wow… that was ambitious of your cousin. Did she have to buy a different dress on top of paying for the one that didn’t fit?

Blowyourowntrumpet · 27/09/2022 14:52

She wasn't forced to sign anything. They didn't hold a gun to her head. They explained the options and she chose to sign. It's her decision

PlasticSheetingRTÉNews · 27/09/2022 14:55

She’s not being forced to diet.

She signing a waiver confirming that she’s aware that she’s buying a dress that’s too small for her, and can’t refuse to pay in full on that basis.

Notimeforaname · 27/09/2022 14:58

Well you simply dont buy a dress too small for you. Or you pay to have it altered.

SafeMove · 27/09/2022 14:58

My other half is making my wedding dress, made to measure. My measurements are 34, 30, 42. I am pear shaped to the max. A standard off the peg wedding dress in a size 10 would not go above my thighs. A standard 16 would hang off my shoulders. I wouldn't fit a size 13. Dress making and especially wedding dress making is so difficult. The fabrics are slippy, the layers are tricky, the detailing and pattern matching is complex. Your friend needs to value people's skill set and time and pay the required money for goods and services if she wants a properly fitting dress. People have really lost touch about manufacturing and what is involved in creating 'things'.

lunar1 · 27/09/2022 15:00

The waiver will make it clear that it's not their responsibility that she bought a dress too small for her. She wasn't forced to buy it, it's hardly the shops fault if it doesn't fit.

SudocremOnEverything · 27/09/2022 15:01

By ‘between sizes’, does that mean bigger than the largest standard size so the £450 is for a custom size?

Mojitoo · 27/09/2022 15:01

She signing a waiver confirming that she’s aware that she’s buying a dress that’s too small for her, and can’t refuse to pay in full on that basis

This sounds far more plausible (and reasonable tbh) OP? Does the 'waiver' actually mention the specific need for her to lose weight, or is it basically this ^

QuebecBagnet · 27/09/2022 15:03

Someone I know had this. So yes she didn’t lose the weight, yes she had to buy the dress. Fair enough on the shop. Then she had to buy a second dress which actually fitted.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 27/09/2022 15:05

Neither option is great for the bride really is it?

Pay the marked price for the smaller dress, sign a waiver that you have to buy it, lose a stone.

or

Buy the bigger dress (probably a better idea) for an extra £450.

You'd really want to be a perfectly standard size, wouldn't you!

seaturtle21 · 27/09/2022 15:07

Buy the larger size & alter elsewhere for £450

MelodyPondsMum · 27/09/2022 15:09

Don't most people end up paying to get their wedding dresses altered? So it seems odd to me that your friend would opt for signing a waiver rather than just buying the bigger size and getting it altered.

SuzySangfroid · 27/09/2022 15:12

MelodyPondsMum · 27/09/2022 15:09

Don't most people end up paying to get their wedding dresses altered? So it seems odd to me that your friend would opt for signing a waiver rather than just buying the bigger size and getting it altered.

Yes, this^^

You haven't said why she won't buy the bigger size?

She won't be able to diet down one dress size exactly anyway, so sure she'll need to have it altered regardless

OriginalUsername3 · 27/09/2022 15:12

YABU She signing a waiver that she's choosing to buy a dress that doesn't fit her and that even if by her wedding day it still doesn't fit her, she's still buying it.

seaturtle21 · 27/09/2022 15:13

seaturtle21 · 27/09/2022 15:07

Buy the larger size & alter elsewhere for £450

For less than 450 I mean

BirdinaHedge · 27/09/2022 15:14

If I were your friend @MotherofGoats I'd be looking for recommendations for a good local dressmaker. She'd get to choose a quality fabric (ie silk not polyester rubbish) and have it made up for her from scratch. Sizes in mass-manufactured dresses are arbitrary, made up for the convenience of manufacturers. Bodies come in all sorts of shapes.

Oneswallowdoesnotasummermake · 27/09/2022 15:16

sign a waiver agreeing to lose around a stone before her final fitting

I mean if it actually says this, and she has a leg off, thus losing a stone, that's not going to help the dress fit is it?

Which is why there's no chance this is actually what the waiver says 🙄

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 27/09/2022 15:16

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 27/09/2022 14:04

I understand the waiver, and I can see why the shop wants to protect itself.

However, it sounds like they're putting people off going for the larger size by making the alterations more expensive if you do which doesn't seem very fair.

Not really. She could presumably have gone a full size up and had it altered. The £450 was for the made to measure in between size.

I think it's ok - if she is signing up to buying a dress that is too small, they will want that in writing rather than having her complain she can't fit it when it arrives.

I did the same, ordered a dress I couldn't (yet!) fit because I knew I wanted to lose weight. The shop made it clear it would be my issue if it didn't fit and told me taking it out much more than a cm or two would be difficult (and expensive). It was fine, I lost the weight I intended and it had to be taken in slightly in the end. I could have ordered the size up and had it taken in, that was also an option. The shop didn't force me to diet.

ddl1 · 27/09/2022 15:21

YANBU if it happened as stated; but I'm wondering if they simply asked her to agree to take the dress whether it fits her or not (and not demand a refund if it doesn't), or pay for extra tailoring; rather than to promise to lose weight? The latter would be outrageous; the former not so much.

Confusion101 · 27/09/2022 15:22

MotherofGoats · 27/09/2022 13:52

She was expecting to have to pay £200 for alterations but the shop are saying because she's in between sizes she needs to pay £450 for an inbetween size. Surely the point about going to a bridal designer is that your dress is made to measure? Or am I just old-fashioned....

So she had 3 options:

  1. Buy in size bigger and pay 200 to get it altered
  2. Get it made to size and pay an extra 450
  3. Buy in a smaller size at no extra cost but it doesn't currently fit.

Yeah she defo chose the worst option. She'll be spending far more on a PT or nutritionist to fit into a smaller size, or else pay a fortune to get it restructured and change the original dress to fit. She is being unreasonable!

Sometimessometime · 27/09/2022 15:23

I'd bet money that the waiver doesn't say "you're a biffer and need to lose a stone" but says "you have declined to make the alterations recommended and therefore accept that if the dress is too small on the final fitting date, the shop is not responsible and you will still be liable for the full cost"

Sometimessometime · 27/09/2022 15:25

MotherofGoats · 27/09/2022 13:52

She was expecting to have to pay £200 for alterations but the shop are saying because she's in between sizes she needs to pay £450 for an inbetween size. Surely the point about going to a bridal designer is that your dress is made to measure? Or am I just old-fashioned....

Well yeah, the dress can be made to measure. And that costs £450. That's how it works. If she doesn't like it she's free to go elsewhere. (For what it's worth, I got my wedding dress for £80 in a high street sale and then had it altered by a professional seamstress for about £50)

BirdyWoof · 27/09/2022 15:26

I don’t see anything wrong with this?

I’m inbetween sizes at the minute. I’d simply buy the bigger size and have it altered if needs be? Takes the pressure off myself and means there’s no last minute disasters when something doesn’t fit.