Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend forced to sign a waiver agreeing to diet by wedding dress shop

199 replies

MotherofGoats · 27/09/2022 13:41

Shocked. My friend has ordered a very expensive wedding dress from a well-known designer.... she went to be measured this week and was told that because she was "in between" sizes she would either have to pay £450 extra to have it made to her exact size or sign a waiver agreeing to lose around a stone before her final fitting, which is four months before her actual wedding next June. Is this normal? I think it's horrifying and toxic!

OP posts:
Thinkingblonde · 27/09/2022 14:14

hugefanofcheese · 27/09/2022 14:04

No it isn't going to be made to measure unless you pay for made to measure. Off the peg and then adjusted is what you will get from most bridal shops and there's only so much a dress can be altered. This varies a lot depending on design. It's much, much harder to make most dresses bigger than smaller. If the agreement was worded 'you must lose a stone' then yes that is not professional but it wasn't, was it? It was an agreement that she would pay the balance on the dress in question by a certain date, surely? What was the alternative?

Exactly this. My daughters wedding dress was an off the peg but it was too big, I’m a dressmaker and could have altered it myself but paid to have it done by the shop, they have to big tables and spaces that I don’t have.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 27/09/2022 14:15

You and your friend are being ridiculous. If she doesn’t want to lose weight then she pays the £450 alteration for the larger size. Totally reasonable from the shop to present the options they did. If she does want to lose weight then she takes her chances that she doesn’t and is stuck paying for a too small dress.

why should the shop take the gamble of being stuck with excess inventory?

EasterIssland · 27/09/2022 14:16

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 27/09/2022 13:46

Surely a stone is a whole size for most women?

nope not for me, i have lost a st and still wearing the same size,

cant she order the bigger size?

Lunde · 27/09/2022 14:17

Brings back memories of my final wedding dress fitting in London where the woman in the next room had gone with a "aspirational" dress size because she had planned to lose weight etc etc- and guess what - it didn't fit and wouldn't zip past the waist and her wedding was in 10 days and was due to fly to Scotland in 4 days. There were a lot of tears and tantrums. No idea how they solved it but I can see why shops want to protect themselves.

trailrunner85 · 27/09/2022 14:18

"Horrifying and toxic" my arse. The wedding shop doesn't care whether your mate is a size 6, a 16, or a 26. They're not pressuring her to be thin; they just don't want her ordering a dress that is too small and then kicking off when it doesnt fit. Which is what happens all the time.

Can't your mate just grow up and buy a dress that fits her rather than fretting about what number it says on a label?

Zilla1 · 27/09/2022 14:20

Is it that the shop wants some documentary evidence that she intends to pay for the dress she chooses to order even if she subsequently doesn't fit it? What would be the reasonable alternative, the shop orders or makes a dress in a size she later decides she doesn't want and the shop doesn't expect her to pay and then the shop subsequently can't sell at a non-heavily discounted price??

SuzySangfroid · 27/09/2022 14:21

Lunde · 27/09/2022 14:17

Brings back memories of my final wedding dress fitting in London where the woman in the next room had gone with a "aspirational" dress size because she had planned to lose weight etc etc- and guess what - it didn't fit and wouldn't zip past the waist and her wedding was in 10 days and was due to fly to Scotland in 4 days. There were a lot of tears and tantrums. No idea how they solved it but I can see why shops want to protect themselves.

Yikes!

I actually know of the opposite problem where a friend bought a £££££ dress and the shop said don't buy two sizes down (for obvious reasons, like this^^ example). But she lost a tonne of weight and it was huge one her. The shop had said it could be altered but when it came to it said it couldn't as it was too intricate. It was fine tbf. They padded it out and pinned it etc, but it was a huge stress. I think not getting into it at all would be worse though. No pinning or padding can sort that!

IncompleteSenten · 27/09/2022 14:21

That's fine.
They gave her a choice.

The dress doesn't fit her.

She either pays to have it altered or she loses weight.

I'm not seeing the problem here.

They want to avoid being blamed if the dress doesn't fit. 🤷

Itloggedmeoutagain · 27/09/2022 14:22

MotherofGoats · 27/09/2022 13:52

She was expecting to have to pay £200 for alterations but the shop are saying because she's in between sizes she needs to pay £450 for an inbetween size. Surely the point about going to a bridal designer is that your dress is made to measure? Or am I just old-fashioned....

Made to measure is just that. Not altered. Made to your size from scratch

OldieButBaddie · 27/09/2022 14:23

She could always eat more and then it would fit I guess

TrashPandas · 27/09/2022 14:24

Are you trying to get into a gutter tabloid with your ready-made headline?

The shop is protecting itself against brides who swear they will fit the next size down in six months and then, when they don't, throwing a massive tantrum and blaming the shop. She should pay for an alteration.

LongLivedQueen · 27/09/2022 14:24

She wasn't forced to sign anything, Shes choosing to buy a dress that does not fit. They're merely getting her to sign that either she will fit in to the dress or she will pay the fee to make the dress fit her.

Seems eminently sensible to have clarity on it.,

SuzySangfroid · 27/09/2022 14:25

OldieButBaddie · 27/09/2022 14:23

She could always eat more and then it would fit I guess

Was that to me? I agree. She had got very thin bless her. Stress I think. She took her wedding v seriously. We were each others bridesmaids and she took even my wedding day very, very seriously.

Foxgluv · 27/09/2022 14:27

It's not toxic at all. If they had told her she was too fat to be a bride that would be toxic aswell as disgusting and they deserve to be egged...anyway.

She wants to dress that's too small for her. She either pays to have it altered to her size or tries to lose weight in order for it to fit. If she's chose the latter and it doesn't fit then the waiver states that it's not the shops responsibility. It's her call.

ethelredonagoodday · 27/09/2022 14:29

Yep agree with others that made to order is, in my experience, an order of the nearest standard size, then altered to fit. Mine was like this and i was lucky in that alterations were included!
Made to measure would be much more expensive I'd imagine!

oakleaffy · 27/09/2022 14:29

SudocremOnEverything · 27/09/2022 13:44

The waiver presumably just says it’s not their fault if she doesn’t fit the size she’s ordered.

This.
They have probably had people bulging out of dresses that were too small and complaining.
Always best to order correct size, slightly bigger looks much better than straining seams.

JBLGO · 27/09/2022 14:31

She absolutely was not asked to sign a waiver pledging to diet away a stone 🙄. Hyperbole and exaggeration

Badger1970 · 27/09/2022 14:34

My cousin ordered a wedding dress in a size 14.

She was a size 20 at the time, and was determined to lose weight. The lady in the dress shop wasn't having a bar of it, and made her sign a waiver that she was ordering something that may not fit and that they couldn't alter a dress to make it bigger.

She didn't lose the weight. She and my aunt had a blazing row when the £900 dress arrived and wouldn't even go over her arse..........

theemmadilemma · 27/09/2022 14:35

It's very simple. Between sizes means more alterations, more drastic, time consuming ones.

So she was offered a choice. Either pay for the addtional alterations which are more than is included as standard, or sign a waiver that she's not going to throw a hissy fit and demand they fit in her alterations at short notice and free!!

Doingprettywellthanks · 27/09/2022 14:36

Let me guess op

you haven’t actually seen the contract clause in question and this is heat say from your friend?

Dixiechickonhols · 27/09/2022 14:39

It’s not forced to diet. It’s just making clear that it’s her problem and she still pays in full if dress doesn’t fit. I imagine they’ve been burned or threatened in past - bride buys a 12 to diet into. Turns up 1 month to go still a size 16 and nothing to be done. Refuses to pay and threatens to name & shame shop on social media for leaving her with no dress at last minute.

PleasantBirthday · 27/09/2022 14:41

I'm very disappointed in this thread. I was hoping for something outrageous like a bridezilla getting a friend to sign a contract to lose weight before letting her be a bridesmaid or something like that.

Oliverfunyuns · 27/09/2022 14:43

It sounds odd, but no-one is forcing anyone to shop there. If someone finds the practice toxic, they can go elsewhere (or pay the alteration fee). If the wording really is along the lines of "I solemnly vow to lose a stone before XXXX date," that's strange, but it's true that brides need to face cold hard facts about what will fit them and how much weight they can realistically expect to lose before their wedding day. They'll be the ones to suffer the most if they don't have a dress that fits.

Pengwinn · 27/09/2022 14:44

MotherofGoats · 27/09/2022 13:52

She was expecting to have to pay £200 for alterations but the shop are saying because she's in between sizes she needs to pay £450 for an inbetween size. Surely the point about going to a bridal designer is that your dress is made to measure? Or am I just old-fashioned....

It sounds like the dress would need fairly substantial alterations in order to fit rather than the usual tweaks, so £450 seems fair. I suspect the shop is bored of brides buying the smaller size only to then expect major alterations nearer the time or to try and wriggle out of paying it.

HotDogJumpingFrogHaveACookie · 27/09/2022 14:49

She's not being forced into anything. She's chosen to use that bridal shop and she's chosen to buy a dress that's too small for her, rather than paying extra to have one that fits. The shop having a waiver that in order to fit into the dress she needs to lose around a stone is to prevent your friend from kicking up a fuss if she fails to do that and has a wedding dress that doesn't fit.

I'm sure the shop will have advised her to pay for her sizing.