To join my uni's Pakistani Society even though I'm not Pakistani/Asian?

[Ahsoka2001]

I'm back at uni doing an MA for one year (straight after finishing undergrad, I'm 21) and wanted to join at least one society despite being very busy.

There's a few I tried in first year and didn't like (e.g. board games society only had niche games no one knew and not the classic ones) and the sports societies are all quite expensive.

In second year, I made friends with an amazing girl who had Pakistani heritage and in fact led the Pakistani society till she graduated last year. She was very proud of her culture and just knowing her has made me quite interested in learning more about the country/people. So I thought joining this society would be a nice way to do that and meet some new people. But would it be odd to do this as someone who's White British?

The website does say "This is not exclusively for Asian students, all are welcome" but I'm wondering if this is just a formality and in reality it would be a bit odd? Not sure...

We always used to go along to the events run by (I think it was called then) Asian society at uni, it was very inclusive and a great atmosphere. I shared a house with several Indian housemates and was really encouraged to go along and to join, but it was open to anyone. The Chinese Society was similarly friendly. It will obviously depend on the individual society itself but I never felt it was excluding people. Unlike some societies such as the Riding Club, for instance. That wasn't the friendliest...

@MessyBunPersonified It wasn't. My initial motivation is stated in the post - meeting someone British-Pakistani who made a real impact on me and made me want to learn more about the culture there. Whether you still think that's a poor reason, I'll leave that up to you. This post has given me a mixed bag of opinions it seems.

@SalviaOfficinalis no, no one said they are. I don't know why I said that and you're right. No counter-argument here.

My DS joined the Japan Society at his uni last week. As a family we have zero links with Japan. I didn’t think anything of it, he just thinks Japan is an interesting country and would love to visit it one day.

Your true motivation became clear within 5 or 6 posts.

Have any posters telling OP not to join ever been involved in this type of society at university? At the universities I attended these society were often about celebrating culture and raising awareness of history etc, not for talking about personal issues like some posters seem to think. My experience is they are very welcoming to new members of all backgrounds.

Op, I think it shouldn't be so difficult to just talk to people you want to talk to. If you are interested in joining the society then do. If you feel as if you are invading their space or they aren't that comfortable with you being there them stop going to the meet ups or events. I'm Asian and at uni I wouldn't have minded anyone joining a cultural association. Just don't he unnecessarily critical or patronising. You could also just ask one of the organisers if they mind you joining or participating in events.

Uni really is about having a range of experiences, learning, broadening horizons and meeting people from all different backgrounds. As the thread shows, you will need a bit of sensitivity if you join the group and probably take a back seat when it comes to planning events. But I think uni groups want students to get involved, and if you join it will be a lot of fun and develop appreciation for this culture.

@MessyBunPersonified if my true motivation really was the work venue, why would I still want to join after scrapping the idea (which for the record was an afterthought)? If you don't believe the motivation stated in the OP is true, then there's not much I can say to prove it. Very hard to prove you're telling the truth on the Internet.

Presumably at the moment they are raising money for the floods so maybe start by helping with that and go from there.

I would ask them. I think it depends on what they are after, different societies might have different goals. My concern would be about the language. Do they speak English at the meetings or not? I would expect not, but might be wrong . So the only way is to ask politely adding “it’s ok if not”.

Nothing wrong with you wanting to learn about a different culture OP (as a POC myself). But actually joining a specific group meant for people from that culture is dicier territory. Not that you absolutely mustn't do it - some of this will depend on the specific group dynamic. But most of it will depend on whether you, as a white person, can navigate a Pakistani space with sensitivity.

This means ascertaining whether it's OK first. Why don't you chat with your friend who led the group? Seems the obvious first person to ask. If you email the group directly they may feel they have to say yes just to be polite. If you feel uncomfortable asking your friend, that's a sign!

If she says it'll be fine etc and you do end up going, don't be a tourist. Don't expect the other members of the group to act like unpaid guides or teachers, they don't owe you anything. When they talk about issues their community faces, don't barge in with your "different perspective". Don't treat their culture like some shiny toy - yes, you might love the film and the food but are you also going to be invested in and an ally to the Pakistani community when it comes to racism and marginalisation? Don't be like one of those white people who bangs on about how much of a rap fan they are, then shies away from going on a BLM protest.

If you don't feel you can do that you're perfectly able to learn about Pakistani film and culture online and in libraries.

Messy Bun why so confrontational? I think op was responding to a particular idea mentioned by another poster. I don't think there is anything sinister even in offering to show movies. When I was at uni that would have been really appreciated but now of course you can find everything online.

@Despairingof very true. My friend I mentioned before started a fundraising page for that and I donated £10. She messaged me instantly to say thank you and she really appreciated the gesture.

Ohh - and I forgot to mention. I was clubbing with her and some other friends back in February when she turns round and says "You need to come on an Asian night out with us!" I'm not sure if she meant the Pakistani society but it's possible. And I also bumped into her doing a Palestine Solidarity society street protest once and she beckoned me to come over and join. I was the only white person there at the time and none of them seemed to mind.

I should probably just ask her as other posters say.

Exactly this.

If you're really that interested in Pakistani culture you'd know that the first priority right now will be the immense humanitarian catastrophe their country is facing.

I actually work with a film society (outside the uni) who recently opened their own venue and are looking to work with uni societies. So I could arrange to show some Pakistani films at the venue with the society for example, benefitting both of us. This isn't exclusively my idea, my boss was telling me to go round suggesting this to societies at Freshers' fayre.

Sure it was an afterthought, just a massive coincidence that this afterthought happened after your boss told you to do this exact thing 🙄

I think a lot of posters don't have much experience of university societies. I would go along to an event, OP. You will soon get a feel for whether or not you are comfortable there, and whether the other members are comfortable with you. I had a devoutly Catholic friend at university who ended up on the exec of the Jewish Society.

Because op is trying to join this society to use it for her own means.

It happens all the time, and its exhausting.

@gannett all great points, thanks for posting.

Ask them! I'm a lecturer and I popped into the societies fair to drop off something for my subject's society. A student came up to me and the student I was talking to (both white) to offer us sweets and advertise the Chinese Society to us. A lot of cultural/national societies want to celebrate their culture with other people.

If you ask and they seem unsure or reluctant, then respect that.

@Zott hope your DS enjoys. Admittedly, I think Japanese Society would be a more popular choice for white students due to anime, etc. I doubt he'll be the only white person there whereas I might well be the only one at a Pakistani society.

If it clearly says it’s open to all give it a whirl. If you feel awkward then don’t go again.
Brought back memories of my first week at Uni. My corridor mate got me from shower - there’s some people to see you. I stood there dripping wet and a group of students I’d never seen before said you’re not Chinese! Indeed I’m not and had never said I was. They had gone down list and were randomly calling unannounced on people with surnames that could be Chinese?! They didn’t ask me to join Chinese society they just left. We thought it was hilarious.

University societies usual need a diversity and inclusion officer if they are to receive SU funds. They need to be inclusive.

Most societies will welcome those interested in their culture. So join.

Dd belongs to a cultural society because several of her friends come from that country. There has never been any hint that she is not welcome, indeed the opposite. Last year she was appointed D&I officer.

I wouldn't.
I'm an immigrant and belong to a group as such and yes we do talk about culture, food we miss, things that annoy us about the country we moved to.

I don't know whose bright idea it was to allow natives of the country to join but it changed the entire dynamic. You mention anything negative about the country, the native gets overly offended and starts arguing how we're wrong to feel that way.

So no, don't join.

@madasawethen was this group a uni society? I'm not sure how much this Pakistani society talks about culture and issues with this country, etc. but past events advertised on their social media are things like bowling, shisha outings, nights out, etc. Probably should have mentioned this earlier tbh