To expect a call from the boss - turned down

[AndImFeelingBlue]

Last few months boss has been prepping me for a big promotion. Lots of support. Lots of competition (internal and external). But also lots of 'no one could do this job better'.

I don't know why I listened so much as I knew he wasn't on the interview panel. But he's very senior and his opinion well regarded.

I started being an idiot and started thinking the job was mine.

We need the money. I am the earner in the house - I feel this pressure to provide for my kids and my DH (who does work but part time). I wanted to be the 'career one'.

Anyway - the recruitment consultant they'd hired in to oversee the process called me at 8am (OUCH) to say I hadn't got it. When I saw them calling at 8am I thought it would be good news - call before everyone gets in kind of thing. But it wasn't. It's gone to someone external with 15 yrs more experience.

No call from the boss. From the panel. From anyone. Just a hired consultant who said 'tough luck' and now I'm just getting on with my day, doing my job, and just had to go off a meeting early because I started to cry (I hid it).

Problem is they think I'm not ready, so me crying or being annoyed is only gonna make them think I'm immature.

I just have been working on this for weeks/months - I've read everything there is to read, prepared so hard, worked so many evenings, and has this boss in my ear saying how it's basically my job...

And now..nothing.

I had been saying to DH 'Ah the extra money is going to make us all be able to relax a little etc' and I just feel I've let everyone down.

Any words of wisdom. Do I just leave? Or try to? Or am I being spoilt? It was never my job. I just thought someone might call me to talk to me today.

@Lemons1571 I'm so sorry it happened to you too. Just a strange feeling. Last weeking working all hours, coffees with senior directors, even questions about how they'd backfill my role and salary expectations and just lots of hard work and planning. Then one phone call first thing and everyone has disappeared off the face of the planet. Not a single word. Not a single email.

I think you're right this one is gonna take time. So hard to dust yourself off again and keep trying.

Are you the reserve candidate and does your organisation recruit from reserve candidates. In my work there's a real reluctance to advertise and interview too frequently, as a result quite a few people have got really good jobs.

Really poor that they led you to think you had the role. But I'm struck by you saying you feel you've let your family down. I'm sure that isn't how they see it. If money is tight, could your partner go FT or is he doing childcare?

Agree with PP that the lack of a call could just be things being a bit chaotic and people not knowing that you've been told.

I'd give yourself a few days then have a think about whether it's time to be looking around for a new challenge.

Would also add that while it's gutting to put everything into something then have it not go your way, it's better than kicking yourself and thinking "if only I'd tried harder"- you did everything you could and it wasn't your fault that this external candidate applied. And no work is ever wasted- everything you've done for your application will make you a better candidate when another job comes up.

@AndImFeelingBlue dont worry about dusting off and getting back on the horse with a positive attitude just yet. It’s quite ok to give it some time to collect yourself before you can move forwards with this new unexpected situation you find yourself in. I mean, they can’t even get themselves together to manage the situation properly and call you (same happened here).

Hope you are feeling a bit better today OP.

OK - I would LOVE all your thoughts on this (esp @Lemons1571 as someone who has been through this)

The external person has many months notice on their contract and won't start until Feb 23. They have asked me to interview again to be the interim person (there may be other internal people who want the job too on temp basis). There is no plan for backfilling my current role so far so inevitably I would be doing both.

Better money for 4 months, experience but also a total shit show. And I don't want to have all that stress of doing 2 jobs for 4 months.

But will I look spoilt? Should I go for it in case the other person drops out or is rubbish and I have proven myself?

Also - interviewing us all again for the interim role. REALLY?

Any words of wisdom??

I probably would go for it in case the other person drops out. There own work place may make them a good offer to keep them.

I would go for it too. There's always the possibility the other person will drop out and you're gaining good experience - you can job hunt while you're doing it.

I’d be direct and ask them for feedback, so they don’t get away with it. They probably feel awkward so are avoiding you, it’s not fair though. Then I would put a brave face on at work, and start job hunting, at least you now have some interview experience behind you and I sincerely hope you can find something better.

Ooh just saw update. I would definitely express interest. Maybe you could contact HR and explain you have already interviewed and can that interview not be used? I don’t see why not if it’s exactly the same role

But I would absolutely want some assurance that they will try and cover some of your old role somehow, maybe someone lower down that wants to step up?

Go for it. I'm in an interim post now covering for my manager who is on secondment. If you get it, you will learn so much in a short space of time. The experience you'll gain is invaluable.

Yes to going for it, blow them away with how good you are (appreciate this is bloody difficult mentally as you’re only one day in). Anything could happen - the new starter might be hedging their bets with other interviews and never start at all. You’ll be gutted then if a different internal candidate gets this role on a permanent basis.

No to doing both jobs at once. They need to reallocate sensibly and have a plan for doing so. Or drop non essential tasks for 4 months (probably find no one misses them)

Is there anyone there that you can have a confidential chat with, about how all this is being handled?

I would go for it but make sure at least some of your old job is being covered by someone else or else work out how you can prune your old role to make it doable with the new one (presumably there's a bit of duplication somewhere).

I would also be unhappy to be interviewed again. Have you had any feedback beyond that the other person had more experience? Was there anyone else in the running internally who might legitimately expect to be considered for the interim role or are they just ass-covering?

I would probably take it if offered as it gives you some experience on your cv of doing the role so you can be looking externally in the meantime. Bit ridiculous to interview again for it tho, I would also contact them and ask if your previous interview cannot be used

I have had similar in my job. A promotion Id done everything to put the work in for, and had people saying was mine. Also really need the money - I’m a single parent.

Didnt get it - two others deemed to have “done more” although that seemed very subjective.

My problem is I’m sort of “over ready” for the job - I’ve been deemed ready for it for about 3/4 years but never quite as good as some one else, apparently, and now been overtaken.

I’m going elsewhere. Can’t stay there stagnating and becoming less and less promotable.

In your shoes I’d take the interim role if offered and at the same time apply elsewhere

If you were aware that external candidates were being interviewed and that your manager wasn't on the panel I think ti was a bit arrogant to assume the position was yours tbh.

Imagine if you had got it and the other candidate posted here: fifteen years more experience blah blah but of course it went to the less qualified/experienced internal candidate. Too many jobs are earmarked fort internal candidates and the interviews just waste everyone's time.

It sounds like it was a fair process and the job went to the most suitable candidate.

You could always go for the interview and still consider the job. by the time they ring you and offer you the job, you'll have had more time to think about whether the extra stress is worth the money for you and your family. It gives you a bit more time.

Well, based on your previous update I was going to say that it sounds as if the company doesn’t really have a clear direction of travel planned in all sorts of ways and you might be well out of it but now I think take the interim role in the meantime - you could learn a lot and there’s nothing to stop you continuing to job hunt externally.

Then again, I have a bit of a history of being people’s second choice for jobs and getting brought back - the original hire didn’t work out/there was a second opening etc. A lot of what it really boils down to is how much you like the company which kind of bring us back to the first point!

If you were aware that external candidates were being interviewed and that your manager wasn't on the panel I think ti was a bit arrogant to assume the position was yours tbh.

Very helpful 🙄

She didn’t just assume though.

Management led her to believe that it was a foregone conclusion. Coffees where they had discussions about backfilling her role? Of course you would assume that you’re pretty much planned to be in the role.

I would say you are interested but I wouldn't be very enthusiastic about interviewing again - I'd say something like yes absolutely but is it possible for you to make your selection based on my performance in the interview last week?

Interviews are a huge drain on everyone's time so I'm sure the panel aren't desperate to watch you answer the same questions again!

You also need to know if there’s anything that they want to see in an interview that you didn’t do last time. No point them interviewing you again then saying “oh you still didn’t show us evidence of x y and z”. You’re not a mind reader.