Urgent advise please

[ScabbersChin]

I need urgent advice.

my job involves me picking things up from clients home then returning them a few hours later. It’s my own business.

just been to pick one up from a house where I know the wife personally.

this is the second time now where the husband has told me about dreams he’s had about me. Except this time he told me to keep it secret and not tell his wife. Which I’m uncomfortable with.

what shall I do?

1. Tell the wife and gently drop them as a client.
2. Tell the husband I’m not comfortable with it and to stop or I’ll tell his wife (I’ll record the conversation on my phone)
3. Message him the above.

literally don’t need this. I see them both on the school run daily too. I’m worried about keeping secrets from the wife as she’s lovely. I’m worried about him lying. And I’m worried about it being awkward.

j have to drop the thing off in the next 90 mins or so….

Actually, i wouldn't wait for him to start it again. I would raise it next time you see him.

I have to go drop off at this house now. I feel like crying. My marriage was DA. I feel so triggered. I hate things like this so much.

This.

Could anyone go with you? Could you delay the drop off? Or just tell him how much his comments have upset you..he sounds like King Dick and is chancing his luck..tell him you need to keep it professional or you won't be able to continue.

I'm so sorry. At least after this drop off today, you will never have to see him again.

Put the things on the doorstep, ring the bell and walk away. Send an email saying you cannot work for them anymore. Never, ever, go back.

I don’t think you need to lose a client. It’s not illegal to have an affair and he hasn’t actually said anything sexual to you - he’s testing the water to see if you’re up for it. Obviously he’s a cunt but this isn’t sexual harassment at this point.

i think the advice above about telling him you don’t want to hear about his dreams and want to remain professional is right. He should then stop.

if the doesn’t, then take the fucker down

Could you ring someone and be on your phone when you are dropping off. Pretend it is a call from your bank etc so you cannot hang up. Hand over the item and leave or ideally just ring the doorbell leave on step.

My friend came with me and the fella was on a work call so I dropped it off and legged it 🙈

and I have just messaged him the following-

Hi xxx. I’m uncomfortable with you asking me to keep secrets from xxx about the dreams you say you’ve been having about me.

The relationship between you and I is strictly professional and always will be.

Please keep your personal thoughts to yourself. If you divulge them to me again I will be unable to continue to walk xxx and if xxx asks me why I will tell her the truth.

There doesn’t need to be any apology or further discussion about this.

xxx

Depends on how he's saying it partly - is he making a pass at you?

I would be super professional and not enter into conversation eg
Him: I had a dream about you again (he smiles)
You: that's nice, see you next week (turn around and leave)

Well done Scabbers.

I’d bet my life on him trying to bring it up again in a ‘joking’ fashion and accuse you of overreacting. When he does, just say again “It made me uncomfortable and I asked you to stop. That’s the end of it as far as I am concerned. No need to say anymore.”

Good message op.

You can't just brush it off, you have to tell him to stop. And I think your message has done that. Polite but direct.

He’s already messaged back and told me I’ve taken it the wrong way. Not going to respond.

@ScabbersChin you haven't taken it the wrong way OP - and if they suddenly stop using you , don't be suprised if he lies to his wife. I personally would have taped him before messaging.

I'd be so tempted to reply 'And how exactly am I taking it the wrong way ? Don't insult my intelligence'
But probably best to leave it.

I know. The urge to respond is strong. But I’ve been married to his sort before so know better. X

I’m really impressed how you handled this. It’s sorted. He’s on the back foot. And you haven’t lost a client.

Well done. No need to reply. Doesn’t matter if I’m his opinion you’ve ‘taken it the wrong way’ - it made you feel uncomfortable, you addressed that by telling him so, no further comment required (as you’d already said).

If he was a decent bloke he’d have messaged to say ‘I am so sorry Scabbers - I’m mortified I upset you.’

the old gaslighting its your fault youre taking it the wrong way reponse

Please tell me you didn’t actually put kisses at the end of the message.

That’s very unprofessional and inappropriate.

I know. Classic 🙄

Haha no the ‘xxx’ was my name censored to post here xxx

Oh good 😅 Because a lot of people do 🤨

Why on earth did you not just drop this client??