AIBU?
Unpleasant dogs
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 19:37
Walking my puppy this weekend I have bumped into two different people with what can only be described as unpleasant dogs.
The first one was very reasonable, a clearly responsible owner who quickly put her dog on a lead and changed direction. We bumped into her again later and her dog muzzled wanted to attack us, it was very aggressive. She did everything she could to stop this though. She was very apologetic and I felt sorry for her having to be hyper vigilant all the time.
The second owner had an alsation who bared its teeth at us and tried to lunge. We hung back and, mystifyingly, she slowed down. We changed route and she seeme to follow us. I couldn't understand this. She looked at us as though we were being unreasonable.
Both dogs seemed very unpleasant and it just made me wonder how people with dogs who are aggressive feel about being out and about with them, about having people over to their houses. Do people feel stuck with them, or do they still get pleasure with a dog they have to muzzle.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:24
GSD20 · 25/09/2022 20:21
All I would say is be careful how much you judge. I once had the most lovely puppy from a well respected breeder. He was trained up to high level obedience and well socialised, he was also a registered therapy dog. He lived with other dogs and young children and was as gentle as can be.
One day he was badly attacked by another dog. He was petrified, despite being 10 times the other dogs size he didn’t fight back. It completely ruined that dog, afterwards he would have killed any strange dog that came towards him no matter the intention and at times reacted the way you describe.
You never know if it could happen to yours, a puppy now will mature and will test you at times and possibly do the same. If I see a dog reacting I just get on and walk past, not my place to judge someone else clearly trying.
If I'm "judging" it is because it's a very unpleasant experience when accosted by a snarling dog. I was just interested in the views of those who own such dogs.
FelicityBennett · 25/09/2022 20:29
GSD20 · 25/09/2022 20:21
All I would say is be careful how much you judge. I once had the most lovely puppy from a well respected breeder. He was trained up to high level obedience and well socialised, he was also a registered therapy dog. He lived with other dogs and young children and was as gentle as can be.
One day he was badly attacked by another dog. He was petrified, despite being 10 times the other dogs size he didn’t fight back. It completely ruined that dog, afterwards he would have killed any strange dog that came towards him no matter the intention and at times reacted the way you describe.
You never know if it could happen to yours, a puppy now will mature and will test you at times and possibly do the same. If I see a dog reacting I just get on and walk past, not my place to judge someone else clearly trying.
I was just posting the same thing . I have a lovely 2 year lab who is well bred , well socialised, went to obedience class and was well behaved
He was attacked when he was 1 , both dogs off lead but this other dog wouldn’t let my dog recall to us . It ruined him
He now reacts to most dogs he doesn’t know , it’s changed the way we manage him and walk him . Our ideas of marching down the beach and sand dunes with the dog have gone unless it’s the depth of winter and blowing a gale!
In retrospect before this I was probably unaware of reactivity and I probably judged the other dogs owners . Not any more and I am acutely aware of other owners behaviour and how it affects my dog
The number of owners who allow their off lead dog to come up to him even with his ‘stay away ‘ yellow vest on is unbelievable
OldWivesTale · 25/09/2022 20:29
Well my dog was perfect too and very well socialised until he reached about 15 months old when his behaviour changed almost overnight. He's now very reactive to other dogs and strange men who come to the house. He was the friendliest, gentlest dog until this point. Nothing specific triggered it and I can only assume it is hormones. So all I can say OP is don't be too smug. I've never had a reactive dog before and my current dog became reactive overnight.
Prescottdanni123 · 25/09/2022 20:30
You sound a bit precious and judgemental. If they were on the lead and under control I don't see your problem. They have every right to be walked in the same places as you and breathe the same oxygen.
One of my dogs was great with people and children but despised other dogs. She would usually ignore them unless they got in her face or did something that she saw as threatening. But I loved her to bits, to me she was the best dog in the world and I had no issues with people coming over to my house.
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:31
Prescottdanni123 · 25/09/2022 20:30
You sound a bit precious and judgemental. If they were on the lead and under control I don't see your problem. They have every right to be walked in the same places as you and breathe the same oxygen.
One of my dogs was great with people and children but despised other dogs. She would usually ignore them unless they got in her face or did something that she saw as threatening. But I loved her to bits, to me she was the best dog in the world and I had no issues with people coming over to my house.
I don't think I'm precious or judgemental. My kids were with me and it's very unnerving. Who wants a dog they don't know going of its tits at you? Really?
MomwasCasual · 25/09/2022 20:33
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:04
Yes but it's not my problem or the problem of other dog walkers is it? We had ours on a lead, we only made the mistake of walking in the same area, and it was scary. I don't need to understand reactive dogs, I need to feel safe walking mine in the woods.
SirSniffsAlot · 25/09/2022 20:01
Yeah, this one would have bit if the muzzle wasn't there. He tried very hard to.
If true, that does not mean he wanted to attack. It means he believed an attack was the only way to stay safe.
That's why I believe all dog owners need a better understanding of reactivity and aggressive behaviour. Especially those raising puppies. It's almost always rooted in fear and a safeguard against it is to understand early stage fear and support/train the dog so that those fears do not escalate to this level.
I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I'm saying it because it is genuinely useful knowledge when raising puppies.
One negative experience, that you may not even notice could mean that in a years time, YOURS is the reactive dog.
If you think that's not realistic, let me tell you that the majority of muzzled dogs you might see out and about are lovely, well behaved and manageable pets within their own homes. But they are anxious out in the world, and their owners want to ensure that they, and others are safe. Don't sneer and judge, please.
Menora · 25/09/2022 20:33
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:31
I don't think I'm precious or judgemental. My kids were with me and it's very unnerving. Who wants a dog they don't know going of its tits at you? Really?
Prescottdanni123 · 25/09/2022 20:30
You sound a bit precious and judgemental. If they were on the lead and under control I don't see your problem. They have every right to be walked in the same places as you and breathe the same oxygen.
One of my dogs was great with people and children but despised other dogs. She would usually ignore them unless they got in her face or did something that she saw as threatening. But I loved her to bits, to me she was the best dog in the world and I had no issues with people coming over to my house.
But it was on a lead? The other muzzled? So nothing bad happened it was all controlled
gaymeanshappy · 25/09/2022 20:35
I have a reactive dog. I love her to bits and get much pleasure from her.
If I want to let her off (and I try to because she's a huge high energy breed) I have to walk her in remote areas and have to be hyper diligent that no dogs are around. I've never made a mistake so far and she's 7 but I am lucky to live near a large country park and if I pick early morning/after dusk It's usually fine. She also has partial sight and good recall so as long as I spotted any other dog before she did it'd be okay.
I can't and wouldn't take her to a highly populated area (at least not purposely).
She's very alert and protective and I am a single female who lives alone, I feel I can walk about at night safely with her (visiting parents or going to the local pub). If there are dogs in the pub and I cant sit away from them, I sit outside. If It's very busy, I don't take her (I am friends with enough people in there to be able to text and check, and luckily It's a very dog friendly area).
I don't tend to have people over who dog doesn't know (not because of dog, but just, I have a small group of friends who all love her and nobody else really comes here) however someone came for a meeting some time ago and I was a bit wary-all I did was let them meet her outside first and she was excited and liked them. Fine.
Another time I had some work done in the house and the two workmen, I kept her out of their way obviously but I did have them both give her a treat when they first came in . I may have looked a bit bonkers but It's better than her not trusting them.
She's very loving, very intelligent and a lot of fun.
Strangely, today I was running with her (on lead) in a field and two dogs came bounding up, owner nowhere to be seen. I had ran the whole length of one field and was in a different one before he appeared, but they were running around her, bounding, she snapped at one and it snapped back-luckily that was that. I just kept talking calmly to her as she was scared despite said dog being half her size .
But yes, I do get pleasure from my dog, although obviously I'd much rather she wasn't as reactive as she is. I truly believe I could have done nothing about her nature, too-she was fine up until a certain age and then it just began happening. I used to be able to let her off all the time no problem at all. It could have been something to do with me or the lifestyle I have or something that happened, but I don't know what so even if I could turn back time I'd be as likely to do/not do whatever it was again.
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:35
Chesneyhawkes1 · 25/09/2022 20:33
@Revolvingwhore you weren't accosted. The dog was muzzled and on a lead. Ffs.
Nothing actually happened. How do you get through life if such a non-event is blown up into a big deal
Maybe they should go to a private field.
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:40
Chesneyhawkes1 · 25/09/2022 20:38
@Revolvingwhore maybe you should?
Why you getting so pissy about it? Surely you can understand why I might have disliked this experience? Or are you determined to be that person who defends all dogs, any dogs, all the time?
Chesneyhawkes1 · 25/09/2022 20:43
@Revolvingwhore I'll defend an owner who had their dog on a lead and muzzled yes.
I really don't see what difference them walking by you made to your life tbh.
I'm sure the owner would love her dog to not be reactive. But for whatever reason, it is. She's just as entitled to walk it as you are yours.
She's taking all the necessary measures she needs to. If this upsets you so much, maybe you are better off walking in a private dog field. For your own well-being.
Prescottdanni123 · 25/09/2022 20:45
@Revolvingwhore
You are the one getting pissy. I'd understand your anger if the dog had been off the lead and out of control and had attacked you and your dog. But he was under control, their owner sounds extremely responsible and was just going about their business walking their dog. They have every right to do that.
You clearly think that any dog that is even the tiniest bit reactive doesn't deserve the air it breathes. Well you are wrong. And these dogs can bring their owners plenty of pleasure.
Menora · 25/09/2022 20:46
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:35
Maybe they should go to a private field.
Chesneyhawkes1 · 25/09/2022 20:33
@Revolvingwhore you weren't accosted. The dog was muzzled and on a lead. Ffs.
Nothing actually happened. How do you get through life if such a non-event is blown up into a big deal
If you are scared of dogs maybe this a good idea for you but it won’t equip your dog for dealing with conflict. Your dog needs to know you are confident she’s going to meet all kinds of animals and people not all are nice and she needs to feel you can manage it. Move away, don’t go to busy areas, go at quiet times. There is a cat on my street who hates dogs and lies in wait for them to pounce out and scare them. Am I to tell the cat owner to keep their cat indoors?
animals like dogs have been domesticated but they have instincts we can’t always fix to our liking we have to learn to live with them the best way we can
Prescottdanni123 · 25/09/2022 20:47
Also, I see the people voting YANBU aren't brave enough to come and add their voice to this. Probably because they are just the run of the mill mumsnet dog haters who know that they don't actually have a leg to stand on in this case. They just voting YANBU because they hate dogs.
Lilypickles1 · 25/09/2022 20:49
To be honest I’m not even sure how this affects you in any way.. clearly the owners were in control, in particular the muzzled dog, signs of a very responsible dog owner, just walk past and crack in with your day. I often find people judge the breed too much rather than just the behaviour anyway, I’ve had so many cockapoo owners laugh at their dog barking in my dogs face, when mine does it, they pick up their poor little babies and molly coddle them. Also certain dogs can actually be a trigger for reactiveness in particular high energy breeds, spaniels, terriers etc… so in actual fact your dog could technically have been the ‘issue’ but as another poster said the only way of dealing with that and getting your dog used to certain triggers is to face them… at a safe distance. I’d just worry about your own dog if I were you
myporridgeiscold · 25/09/2022 20:50
Is this your first puppy? You don't sound very experienced. Why are you letting your dog get so close to another dog that it loses it's cool. As pps have said most reactive dogs are not 'unpleasant'. They are most likely stressed or anxious and don't like having unnatural meetings with other dogs or people. Give them a wide swerve and you'll be fine. But don't take your puppy too close unless you know the dog is friendly.
I had a beautiful Labrador. She was my soul daughter. But her anxiety lead her to react badly to certain situations. She wasn't an 'unpleasant' dog. She was amazing and I miss her love and cuddles every day.
pantsofshame · 25/09/2022 20:51
Revolvingwhore · 25/09/2022 20:35
Maybe they should go to a private field.
Chesneyhawkes1 · 25/09/2022 20:33
@Revolvingwhore you weren't accosted. The dog was muzzled and on a lead. Ffs.
Nothing actually happened. How do you get through life if such a non-event is blown up into a big deal
I have a reactive dog. He is scared of most men and some dogs, as a result of mistreatment before we adopted him. We didn't know this when we took him on as he (like many dogs in this situation) was totally shit down and compliant in the rescue centre. We do take him to a private field for off-lead exercise and avoid walking him at very busy times. However, with the help of a professional behaviourist we are training him to be less reactive. Part of this involves seeing other people 'in the wild'. He always wears a muzzle and is on a short lead when we are in public so we have full control and even if somehow we got off lead he could not bite. In that respect he is probably actually the safest dog anyone will encounter. We try to keep him at a distance that he is comfortable with away from other people but it's incredible how many people come very close, or let their dogs approach him, despite us trying to dodge out of the way. This is when he's most likely to react. At home he is a soft, cuddly delight to be around. To avoid him ever possibly barking at someone we would need to either have him pst or keep him in the house for most of the time. Neither seems very fair when we have systems in place to prevent him from harming anyone.
I have a friend who has been very judgemental about us keeping him. She had fluffly, lovely puppies when we adopted him. One is still cuddly and lovely, the other has (with the same upbringing/training etc) become reactive in adolescence. Strangely her views seem to have changed.
eyeroller1 · 25/09/2022 20:55
Aggression and reactivity are two different things. Very few dogs are truly aggressive. I have a reactive dog my biggest fear is people who let their dogs charge up to her. She’s not interested in other dogs and hates them running up to her. Pp who said most reactivity is born out of fear is correct, my dog is scared of so much and a lot of it’s lead reactivity, fight or flight! She’s a rescue and been very hard work, not least because she is also high energy/high prey drive/ and hyper vigilant but is completely loving at home (whilst still being quite unsettled most of the time) however now when I’m out w her she’s so much better it’s just taken a long time.
all dog owners should be responsible, but having a difficult dog has taught me a huge amount about dog behaviour and body language and I’ve watched some amazing trainers but mostly that’s to do with high prey drive., something else that tends to develop after puppyhood.
tillytoodles1 · 25/09/2022 20:59
I was walking my dog one day when we met a woman with a boxer dog who was muzzled. He's fine she said as the dog lunged at me growling and trying to snap but couldn't because of the muzzle. Really, I said he doesnt look like hs is, oh that's because he gets a bit over excited sometimes she replied. I don't think so lady.
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