Does anyone else have a ‘main character’ in their family ?

[Blueeyedgirl21]

pondering something this morning

is it just my DP’s family that has this slightly odd dynamic - there is an almost ‘main player’ in the family who everyone has to take into consideration when planning things etc

I’m obviously an outsider who has come into this from a family where this isn’t the case and I find it really weird

it’s really really hard to explain but this person has a totally normal job as a nursery
teacher yet everything that is mentioned relating to schools, education etc they are referred to in reverential tones as someone to refer to. Let’s refer to this family member as X. you could say ‘I saw little Billy next door in his wee uniform, he must be starting school’ and the family member will say ‘X js back at work this week. X’s nursery is outstanding at ofsted you know. Did you know X got a very high mark in their exams when they qualified ?’ And you are like ‘….right. Well, Billy next door looked very sweet!’

Or you make plans with MIL and this person is mentioned constantly. ‘X likes it there. I came here with X and they don’t buy things from here, they get them from a special website. So I won’t buy anything, I’ll get it from X’s special website.’

When X’s birthday is coming up, we are questioned by several family members what we are getting X, will X like that, when will we all go round and give X the gifts, etc

no other adults get gifts for birthdays in the family, we don’t bother

we have a baby. X is trying with their partner for a baby. When we bought a cot, we were told by another family member ‘X won’t have that for their baby. We will take X to the special nursery furniture shop’ the baby isn’t even conceived yet ?!!

it’s hard to explain. Its not like simple favouritism it’s more like X has to be treated a certain way ? Or they might be annoyed or angry and they want X’s approval. Fwiw on their own, X is quite nice and chatty etc. However you never ask X to do anything. X has to offer. It’s just so weird. Anyone empathise with this ?!!

In my family it’s my middle brother. He’s the golden child. He only has to breathe and my mum is off on an hour long praise-athon.

In my ohs family it’s his oldest sister. Can’t think why tho as she’s done nothing with her life. She’s never even left home. She’s in her 50s.

In my family it has always been my DB, though it is hard to separate main character-dom from him being the golden child. Everything he does has always been lauded to the skies and DM can’t wait to turn the conversation around to him at every opportunity. My favourite was when we were discussing politics and DM came out with “DB has always voted Labour because he is SO CARING.” He’s never done a day’s work of volunteering in his life, and never shows the slightest sign of thinking of anyone but himself. But ok.

In terms of specifically “main character” behaviour everything has to be arranged to his convenience, not always easy as he can’t drive. And if something goes mildly wrong everything revolves around his suffering. He had flu last year and DM rang me crying because he was “in his flat all alone.” He’s 43 with a great job and no mortgage. I doubt he was slumming it!

Some of these are giving me goosebumps because they sound so familiar! Thanks for starting this post OP, I never knew this type of dynamic had a name and was a ‘thing’