COVID - What would you do?

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Hi, sorry not quite an AIBU but wasn't really sure where this fit.
DP and I were due to go to Cornwall with a big group of his friends for a long weekend, this weekend. Had paid £250 between us towards massive house we were all renting in a lovely location, were both super excited.
DP started feeling a bit rough on Wednesday but assumed he was just run down as we've both been very busy. Thursday his lungs felt a bit heavy so he did a COVID test on the off chance, which was positive.
Obviously we had to tell his mates and the majority weren't happy for us to come which is understandable as they mostly have young kids and a couple had been quite ill with it before.
I know we did the right thing but we're both gutted to miss out.
I guess my question is what would you do - are people even covid testing anymore? Is this just going to carry on forever? Without restrictions people will be catching COVID so frequently, will we always have to put our lives on hold while we have it?
Fwiw DP is a lot less ill than last time we had it and I'm still testing negative and feel fine.

If you are sick you miss out! Just because it's covid doesn't make a difference. You wouldn't turn up with a stomach bug would you?

I think the issue now coming to light is that people actually would and always have done. There is always many responses on these type of threads from people who genuinely would think twice if they were sick.

On the basis I was very unwell with covid recently and off work for weeks I wouldn't have had a choice in whether to go or not.
If someone were to turn up to a group holiday I was on knowingly having covid/with symptoms I would probably go home myself as it is not an experience I wish to repeat and seriously reconsider my friendship with someone so selfish.

You did the right thing OP, hope your DH isn't too unwell and you avoid it.

Still testing here. We were both really ill and wiped out, so wouldn't do that to someone else. Our friends are all backing out of things if they're not well (even if negative) or their partners have it.

As regards other things, if I felt unwell but was negative I'd try to go food shopping early so easier to keep my distance. Workwise, we need to go in. There are two side offices where DH is and anyone who doesn't feel well now works in one of them. I have a lot of contact in my two jobs, but would forewarn colleagues I wasn't feel right, so keep distance and try and keep distance from pupils or customers.

As I have said previously, if he were actually sick then no, we would not have gone. His symptoms were like a mild cold and he's feeling fine today - so if it wasn't COVID we could have gone down today.

Thanks, I'm still testing negative this morning which is interesting. Starting to think maybe I had it before him and gave it to him, though I didn't have any symptoms!

Is he still testing positive OP?

Not sure actually, he's not tested yesterday or this morning.

If he tested positive, showing up on a lft on Wednesday and has only had mild symptoms he might be negative by now.

I wouldn’t go with a cold, or stomach bug or other contagious things that aren’t Covid. It wouldn’t be fair to pass anything on to others, particularly if they’re not comfortable with you going.

Well your friends have said no so I don't see you have much choice ?

What this doesn't say is

"If you have flu stay home"
or
"If you have any symptoms you should test to see if it's flu"

It only says stay at home if you have high temp or can't do normal activities: neither of those applied to OP's DH at point when he tested.

Would you have gone if it was norovirus?

There's no point testing if you were going to then go anyway.

It wouldn't matter if it was covid, flu or a vomiting bug. All illnesses affect people in different ways. A mild cold in your dh could end up as a really bad cold in another. In an asthmatic a bad cold would involve difficulty in breathing. You said you would be house sharing so would be in close proximity to the others.

Who the hell deliberately infects friends? But its "just a cold" 🙄

Did you read my post?

No, but it wasn't fucking norivirus.
Jesus, this place sometimes 😅
Just to clarify-
If my DP had norivirus, or flu, or anything similar we would not have gone.
If he didn't have covid, and had recovered from the cold we thought he had MID WEEK, we would have gone.
However it wasn't a cold, it was covid so we stayed home.

We’re not vulnerable as such but may have a predisposition to an autoimmune condition.
We live next door to my elderly Nan.

We test if ill and test the person who is ill first and adults. Mainly to prevent passing it on to anyone vulnerable. I don’t routinely test the kids u5 but I test myself twice a week or more if I’ve been somewhere higher risk. ( I buy tests in bulk so they work out 80p-£1 each).

We still don’t do inside activities or restaurants etc. My kids don’t go to school/childcare and we either WFH or have one person office.
We do several outdoor activities, forest schools and sport groups etc as well as some zoom groups as well as going to the park to play.

We meet people outside and do lots and lots of fun outdoor activities. E.g. we set up an outdoor cinema at home (after the local drive in closed).

We have lots more disposable income without so many indoor things so we splurge more on outdoor fun things and parties in the garden E.g. likely to get a bouncy castle for a whim on a sunny day.

My sister recently got married and I was BM and wore an FFP3 inside for the ceremony and speeches etc and we ate outside. (I discussed this at length with dsis and she was more than happy we attend rather than not).

I know this may seem extreme to lots of people but I don’t feel getting a novel pathogen with not much known about it’s longterm effects to be ok. It’s not minor for everyone and really for us wearing a mask inside isn’t a big deal at all.

I wish more places had better ventilation implemented and had a more future facing idea of health. Very little steps E.g. opening a window when CO2 levels get high would do lots to reduce transmission of all respiratory disease.

My friends are more back to normal than us but also my best friend was her first in big person thing last weekend so we all kind of are happy with doing what we are doing.

People say “what did you do before covid” well we avoided soft play in peak norovirus season haha and I would love to be able to test for flu/cold viruses etc at home the same way. (But that’s the infectious disease scientist in me).

jesus, what a way to live your life. I feel so sorry for your kids growing up thinking this is normal.

So it was a mild cold for your DP, but you understand it affects some people much worse? And you can’t entirely predict who will be badly affected?

You don’t need to feel sorry for them, they’re not really missing out on anything and it’s much more in line with what lots of other countries are doing.
We honestly see so much of the country because we’re free to travel and have more disposable income this way.
They are so sociable and great at interacting with all ages of people.
They have hobbies and friends and we still go out but we’d sit outside a restaurant or have fun picnics or takeaways.
Its not forever.
I feel much more sorry for all the children who have long covid, or their care giver has long covid or sadly lost a main caregiver to the virus or the delays in the NHS caused by lack of staff due to workforce sickness. (I’m on our local PPG and they are operating at 20% reduced staff capacity each week).

We’re just playing the long game.
No regrets.

You did the right thing staying at home.

i tested positive for covid 23 days ago and am still not right, I felt utterly dreadful for the best part of a fortnight. I have just finished a course of antibiotics. I wouldn’t want anyone (outside my household) coming anywhere near me knowing they have covid.

I am triple vaxed.

There comes a point we can’t be expected to keep being responsible do everyone else’s health. I’ve reached that point. If people are worried about getting it they have the choice to isolate themselves or invest in a half decent mask.

If it had turned out to be a mild cold as we thought.....but it w

You say it’s not forever, but despite a successful vaccine programme it’s still been 2.5 years, so when will you stop all this?

Outdoor cinema sounds lovely and tbh one of the things I’ve liked is that it’s more a default to go round and sit outside when visiting people etc than before but a large chunk of the year where I live is spent in cold, horizontal rain, and darkness!

Sorry, posted too soon. I'm not saying it will be a mild cold for everyone. I'm saying we thought he had a mild cold, but it was covid, so we didn't go.